sweetichick

I am nearly through day 1 again. I nearly went to the bottle shop but felt too sick plus it meant I would have to put off my car service. I have been attending meetings online. I just can't do this to myself anymore. Yesterday after my nap I nearly couldn't get out of bed literally. Everywhere there are empty wine bottles. I don't know what I am trying to achieve except being insane. I realised that I have to stop no matter what go back to f2f meetings and get back my sponsor. If I can hardly do anything for ten days so be it. I hate the smell of empty wine glasses and bottles. I need to face up to life. I have never walked back from the car on deciding to go drink. Just couldn't do it to myself.

yinzer

You can do it, sweetiechick. Get past these first few days and never again!

Michael2018

I woudn't feel at all bad about not trying to do anything more than absolutely necessary (getting some decent food) for a couple of weeks.

Look after yourself,

sweetichick

Thanks guys. I ts been a moment of clarity.

Dee74

I really hope you can make this your turning point Sweetichick

D

Midwest1981

wishing you the best sweetichick. It sounds like you know what to do to get back on track.

Plure

Like others said, be kind to yourself during this time. My first attempt at sobriety went awry because I didn’t take the time to care for myself and slow things down (including taking the needed time to be lazy, sleep, relax). You are in triage mode right now and that’s totally fine! Imagine you are caring for someone else and what advice and support you would offer them.

StartingOverNW

The online meetings sound like a good thing to do when you're not feeling strong enough to leave the house. Hang in there, there are lots of people here rooting for you.

DontRemember

What do you get done in 10days while drinking?...not much I'd guess,if you're anything like I was towards the end of my drinking 'shenannigans'. What I did get done either didn't get my full attention or it turned into a nightmare in some form/fashion.

sweetichick

Thanks Michael. I will try not to beat myself up for not doing more.

Anna

I truly hope you make this work, Sweetichick.

sweetichick

You are right Don't absolutely nothing got done. Looking at the mess is getting me down right now though.

JustTony

Rooting for you Sweetichick.

yinzer

Don’t get down. What’s that joke? How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Just do what ya can. Stay sober and other stuff will happen in time.

Hevyn

We're with you, sweeti.

Fearlessat50

Love yourself. You deserve it. We are here for you!

2muchpain

You've had moments of clarity before. What are you going to do different this time to make it work? John

Delilah1

Hi Sweeti,

It's great to see you back, and I'm glad you're going to try diving back into some face to face support. When you're feeling up to it try to clear out the empty bottles, it will make you feel a little better, is there someone who might be able to come over and help you do that?

Try checking in here more too.

Buckley3

Not really. This is where you get tripped up IMHO. Let the world spin on it's own for awhile. A good long while. In the meantime, you need to get a good foundation of sober days under you. You do that one day at a time with a singular, focused purpose - don't drink. That's it.

Get sober. Sort the rest out later if it even needs sorting at all. It's impossible to tell what's what when you are in a constant fog of booze influenced chaos.

B

Delilah1

Hi Sweeti,

How are you doing today?