Highercall

Day 1 sober after having a bad experience where my money and keys were stolen. Had been drinking a lot of vodka. The results much worse than beer however all alcohol is off limits to me I am powerless over it and one sip is all it takes.

All those out there suffering the same I hope things improve.

yinzer

Welcome back, highercall.

Hevyn

You sound fed up & ready to do it this time, highercall. We know you can get free. Congrats on your Day 1.

Highercall

Thanks I'm going to work hard on it now.

DontRemember

I must ask; Had your night went 'smoothly' with the random chick and your drinking, would you be back here? What's your plan to not be back in that position again? I notice you downplay beer vs vodka...I used to think if I stayed away from the "hard $hit" I was fine,but I always ended up back to your OP eventually(horrendous stuff). Once I stopped 'negotiating' with myself and owned my crap, I got better. What's your plan?

NerfThis

Congratulations on day 1 sober.

In a number of your previous threads I asked you how you plan to stay sober for good, as it seems that smashing your beer glass and praying to God has so far not been successful.

I recall a recent post where you said you now know that you're done and you're allergic to alcohol?

What made you pick up the bottle on this occasion? What can you yourself and us as supportive members do to stop you picking up next time and repeating this 'binge, post in forum, day one, binge, post in forum, day one, binge' cycle?

I don't think this forum is enough for you if you TRULY want to be sober, so you're going to need to take actual action. You're likely going to need some outside help with this problem, but the forum is always here for you as support.

Dee74

Nerfthis raises some painful but pertinent points HC - whats your plan?
how will this time be different?

D

Highercall

A plan is something I will find hard to come up with. And the vicious cycle you describe has to be stopped. The trouble is after things blow over I think I can have a few sensible drinks and then end up at square 1.

I think a lot of problem drinkers have this problem. I do need outside help and will try AA.

I know you all are fed up with me posting after a bad binge but I assure you that is never my intention!

NerfThis

It's not a case of being fed up. The issue I find with your posts is that you so far have not taken on board the advice you're given and actually go to AA or seek outside help or other forms of help. You've said 'I definitely need to try AA' for the past few months, but you've still not been. I find that you reach out with extremely dramatic 'This is the end. I can't do this any more' and people give you the same solid advice each time, but you don't actually take any steps to stop drinking, because as you said, you feel better a few days later and think you can drink again like a 'Normal' person. You HAVE to want to be sober more than you want to drink.

So many of us in this forum have recovered from multiple extreme binges, but after a few days the anxiety and depression goes, so we believe we can attempt sensible drinking because we feel better. I don't think any one here has been successful with that. The biggest challenge you're facing right now is acceptance that you can't drink like a normal person and therefore shouldn't drink at all.

The sober you thinks that they can drinking sensibly. The problem is that as soon as you take the first sip, the sober you with good intentions is no longer there and the alcoholic you is taking over the driving seat. The sober you must start accepting that they can't drink sensibly.

I get the feeling you want to drink more than you want to be sober, but based on your previous posts I think you really need to choose being sober.