I keep trying to do this on my own.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
I keep trying to do this on my own.
So I have been abusing alcohol for four years now. I go sober on my own and then relapse. It is something I am struggling with and I need to put an end to it. I am using it as a coping mechanism and it is unhealthy to say the least. I have stopped doing laundry. I am going into work still drunk. I am sure my coworkers can smell it on me. I am irritable. It is not healthy. I need to break the cycle for good and I know I cannot do it on my own. I have to get my life in order. I keep this up and I am going to end up ruining my life again or worse. So here I am, hoping to do this for good. I have already declined all upcoming social events to keep myself away from alcohol. I am going to go into work tomorrow and do my job completely sober. I cannot have even a drop of alcohol tonight. I cannot let myself and my family down again. More importantly, I cannot afford to lose my job.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Do it with the help of others who have been there -------> https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-local-aa
linked by permission of AA World Services Inc
All the best to you
linked by permission of AA World Services Inc
All the best to you
Last edited by Dee74; 09-09-2018 at 04:19 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
Thanks. I have already looked into going to one of the local AA meetings in my area. I am not entirely sure what to expect though. I know someone who has done the AA meetings and it seemed to have helped her.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Everyone who you meet there will have had the experience of going to a first meeting. The most difficult part of it all is typically to get that first foot past the door frame. You may then find yourself feeling strangely at home. Let um know it's your first meeting. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
Okay! I am hoping that this will be the support I need. I really need to change my life around. I know I can't keep it up without the help of others. It is why I am finally going to be taking that step across the door frame. If I don't do it, things will never get better.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
It's great to have you join us, unhinged. Thankfully, you are aware of what alcohol is doing to your life, and you're not going to settle for it. It feels so good to get free of it & live the life we're meant to. It took me a really long time to admit I had no control once it was in my system. I was going to work half in the bag too - it was shameful, but I somehow justified it.
We're glad you're here. Let us know how the meeting goes.
We're glad you're here. Let us know how the meeting goes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
Thank you for the words of encouragement!
I am all too aware. I don't know why I let myself do it. I thought it made me better at my job, but it also made me erratic. I am sure people could smell it on me too. How I haven't been caught in the last month coming in still drunk is beyond me. I don't want to do it anymore. I am putting myself at risk. I have managed to be late only once in the last month. I have been written up already for my absenteeism/tardiness. I have been told that if I am late/absent anymore in the next 6 months then it is grounds for immediate termination of employment. This is why I need to try something different this time. It is quite obvious doing it alone hasn't worked. I am also going to be joining a support group for my mental health. Hopefully this, in combination of AA, will be what I need to get my life in order.
I am all too aware. I don't know why I let myself do it. I thought it made me better at my job, but it also made me erratic. I am sure people could smell it on me too. How I haven't been caught in the last month coming in still drunk is beyond me. I don't want to do it anymore. I am putting myself at risk. I have managed to be late only once in the last month. I have been written up already for my absenteeism/tardiness. I have been told that if I am late/absent anymore in the next 6 months then it is grounds for immediate termination of employment. This is why I need to try something different this time. It is quite obvious doing it alone hasn't worked. I am also going to be joining a support group for my mental health. Hopefully this, in combination of AA, will be what I need to get my life in order.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
Going through the motions right now reminds me why I need to quit for good. I can't keep doing this. Throwing up so much, feeling miserable, thirsty, disoriented, sore, etc. At least the shakes seem to be settling down. Still can't hold a glass of water very well, but better than I was a few hours ago.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
UHBJ- I could not do this on my own. More importantly than your more importantly- is your life, your health. You are getting sober for you....the consequences can be fatal otherwise (for me at least).
Support to you.
Support to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 7
Thank you! I am hoping this time is different. I have turned down all social events for the foreseeable future. I woke up this morning feeling a bit better than I did yesterday morning. Unfortunately, it was ruined immediately by a text that kind of put me into a sour mood, but I cannot let it get in the way. One day at a time.
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