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Still drinking and bad neuropathy

Old 09-07-2018, 09:23 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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sorry its so hard to get a good consult.

D
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Old 09-07-2018, 10:46 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Hi Sweetichick,

I'm sorry you are drinking and struggling right now. I know you want to be sober, and you can do it. I know you said you can't afford inpatient, have you looked to see if there are any free programs by you.

You deserve to be happy, and to enjoy life, you can do that once you stop drinking, and it's okay to need some help doing that.

❤️Delilah
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Old 09-07-2018, 11:07 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Thanks Delilah.
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Old 09-08-2018, 04:24 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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There is a way.....you just have to find it. I was like you; didn’t care if I died, until I almost did, then, like Dee, realized how much I really wanted lo live. I hope you find a way out of your hole before then. It’s worth it.
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Old 09-08-2018, 05:45 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. I haven't taken the morning drink today. I am quitting. Maybe those meetings are finally sinking in. I have realised everyone is in the same boat and I have no more problems than anyone else. So no more excuses.
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Old 09-08-2018, 05:59 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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sounds good sweetichick

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Old 09-08-2018, 06:21 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Happy to hear the good news, Sweeti. It doesn't do a thing for us.
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Old 09-08-2018, 06:37 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Sweetie, if the meetings aren't right for you, something else is. You can do this. Keep trying til you find what changes the game for you!
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Old 09-08-2018, 07:26 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want to give up. Done a few meetings and come away and still drink. I am on 3 bottles a day. I have closeted myself in the house. Death is inevitable..
To be fair love I think we've all worked that one out,(that you don't want to stop)... BUT you wouldn't be here if that was 100% true, now would you
What is it that's keeping you drinking or avoiding you wanting to stop babe? x Let it all out 100% and let's get to the bottom of this, yeah?
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Old 09-09-2018, 01:46 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want to give up. Done a few meetings and come away and still drink. I am on 3 bottles a day. I have closeted myself in the house. Death is inevitable..
That sounds like death with alcohol is preferable to living without alcohol.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:11 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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I'm glad you are trying to quit again. Don't give up.

AA is a great resource. I have learned a tremendous amount about how to 'cope' with life without alcohol. How to deal with emotions. How not to be so impulsive and reactive.

But will AA 'keep' me sober? No. Nothing will keep me sober. If a higher power is something you can truly have faith in, then work the steps and do everything they tell you to do. I think folks with that faith can really benefit. If God isn't the answer, then that leaves all the responsibility to refuse the first drink with you.

Its either you or its faith in your higher power. But you have to want to be sober so badly that you are 100% willing to go through the massive change it takes to stay sober. That means not drinking even when life sucks. I know, that's the hard part. But the sucky part is just part of life. And you can do that sober. Get through it and you'll see. You'll come out on the other side of a tough time and think 'ok, I can do this'. If you keep drinking 'over' and 'at' everything that happens, you will never learn that you have options.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:18 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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My mom had a near death experience (not from drinking, although she is an alcoholic, in this case she was hit by a drunk driver when she was 18 y/o long before I was conceived) which she told me about a few times. They had to bring her back to life in the hospital. She says she remembers it, but weirdly. She said that she felt her whole life for a moment, all of the things that had ever happened, and that they all seemed so small at that moment. She tells me this story when we talk about something that’s bothering me.

The takeaway is that what we think is a big deal, is really very small in the big plicture. When I think of what I “drank over” throughout the years: which for me was work stress, social pressures, breakups, deaths, etc, are all small when lined up to the profundity of the miracle of my existence and that I’m alive at all.

Being alive really is important. And you, alive, right now, is grace in action.

But then it gets hard, because you’re drinking, and you have health issues, money issues, etc.

Meetings help, some kind of structure helps. And you can build it, because it’s very simple. Make a small checklist, maybe? Go thru this post and look at all of the things you said you’d do: you’ll try to make an appointment. You’ll try not to drink. You’ll try this, or that. Maybe come up with a few others. Write them down with little boxes next to them. And then do those things. Add to the checklist as necessary. Make a new one every day. They might have the same things as the day before, maybe new ones.

I did this getting sober, and it’s a method I use for lots of things: shopping, cleaning the house, work. I have little scraps of paper all over my desk at work and on my refrigerator a white board where I do the list for what I will do at home.

When I was getting sober, sometimes the lists were ridiculous to others if they’d seen them: make coffee. Walk the dog. Go to SR. Take a shower. Wash my clothes. Fold my clothes. Feed the cat. Call x friend. Make x appt.

It helped, and still helps, me to ,stay focused on navigating the life I’m so miraculously around to be able to live.

You’re here, alive, today because you are made of the same stuff everyone else is and we all matter. You are just as worthy and just as beautiful as every other being in this universe and you can- and you deserve - to live your life.

B
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:14 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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How's it going today sweetichick?
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Old 09-09-2018, 07:49 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I have to confess that I drank again. I think I am in a bad state mentally. Still locked in the house with all doors and windows shut except windows with security screens. I went to another meeting but it was all about service work so I left. Maybe it's not an alcohol problem but mental health. Planning on finishing these 2 bottles and wiping myself out for the rest of the day on bipolar meds. Got a few things done this morning.
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Old 09-09-2018, 07:53 PM
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It could be both Sweetichick?

I hope you'll reconsider and not wipe the rest of the day off. Mixing meds and booze is very dangerous as I'm sure you know.

We all want you to grasp hold of a new better life

Maybe it's time to approach your BP or your therapist about your mental health?

As for AA - Service meeting or not.if you don't ask for help, how does anyone know you need help?

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Old 09-09-2018, 08:13 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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They just don't look kindly on those still drinking. Prefer to spend their time with some other who has given up. I pretended I had been sober and got caught out. I just can't seem to be honest. Except on here. I might ask my GP to see a psychologist. Problem is I have seen many and know it is all about deep breathing and mindfulness and meditation.
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Old 09-09-2018, 08:16 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Thanks for trying to help Dee
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Old 09-09-2018, 09:26 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that but tomorrow is a brand new day. Could I ask why you left the meeting after finding it was all about service work? Maybe helping others will help you help yourself and also get you out of the house.

I've done the whole sitting by myself for days on end drinking and it's a horrible place to be. It makes you feel like crap and that there is no escape when you know that there is, all you have to do is throw out the booze.

Therapy or maybe grief counselling would be a great idea if you are honest with them, it's a pointless exercise and waste of money if you aren't.

As Dee said, please don't mix your meds with alcohol that's so dangerous.

Take care.
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Old 09-09-2018, 09:35 PM
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I’ve been to meetings with people who are on their first 24 hours sober and it didn’t bother anyone. Also had a guy tell me how he went to a meeting drunk. They just told him to sit down and listen. He said it saved his life because he got sober from there. Sometimes you’ve got to find the right place to go too though. I appreciate your honesty and hope you keep trying to get sober.
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Old 09-09-2018, 09:56 PM
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Hi Sweeti,

I'm sorry you drank again today. I was just logging in to see how you were doing. I know you have been seeing a doctor for your heart issues, is there the chance he/she can recommend you for an inpatient rehab that will be able to help you with both the mental health and alcohol?

Tomorrow make a phone call to the doctor, open up the windows and doors, and get some air and light into your house, try to get out for a little walk and get something to make yourself dinner later.

Is there anyone you've met at t meeting who you can call and check in with? I know today's meeting was about service, and you may not be ready for that right now, but it might be something you're interested in when you start to build some sobriety.

I hope you will make tomorrow day one.
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