In a mess again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 70
In a mess again
It's been a long time since I've posted and yet again it's because I've fallen off the wagon.
After an 18 year battle I managed to stay sober for 5 years and life was back on track. This year has been horrific though. My sister died suddenly in April and I couldn't cope and started drinking again to numb myself.
I couldn't believe how quickly it escalated again. I am so angry with myself and my family are furious and all the trust that was regained has gone again. This is day 1 for me again and I feel like death. I can't believe how stupid I've been and cannot forgive myself.
After an 18 year battle I managed to stay sober for 5 years and life was back on track. This year has been horrific though. My sister died suddenly in April and I couldn't cope and started drinking again to numb myself.
I couldn't believe how quickly it escalated again. I am so angry with myself and my family are furious and all the trust that was regained has gone again. This is day 1 for me again and I feel like death. I can't believe how stupid I've been and cannot forgive myself.
Welcome back, and I'm very sorry for the loss of your sister.
Try to step away from the self-blame and focus on a plan to stop drinking and to remain sober. I'm sure you are frustrated and disappointed, but the best thing you can do is to move on from here.
Try to step away from the self-blame and focus on a plan to stop drinking and to remain sober. I'm sure you are frustrated and disappointed, but the best thing you can do is to move on from here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 70
Thanks Anna
Appreciate your reply. I guess it's all very raw at the moment and I'm probably not thinking straight. I hate alcohol and what it's done to my life.
I never thought I'd be back in this position.
Appreciate your reply. I guess it's all very raw at the moment and I'm probably not thinking straight. I hate alcohol and what it's done to my life.
I never thought I'd be back in this position.
Been there, done that.
Somewhere along my journey I realized I wasn't stupid (I was human), and I can forgive myself, (I just wouldn't). I think that realization has made staying sober much easier for me.
Welcome back!
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Somewhere along my journey I realized I wasn't stupid (I was human), and I can forgive myself, (I just wouldn't). I think that realization has made staying sober much easier for me.
Welcome back!
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hi TM,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in June. It's very hard I know
Trust can be rebuilt and anger can turn to forgiveness. Put the drink down and keep moving forward. You can do this.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in June. It's very hard I know
Trust can be rebuilt and anger can turn to forgiveness. Put the drink down and keep moving forward. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hopefully, the memory of your sister will bring you strength in your decision.
You can do it again and you will. Forgiveness will come with time, but know you're definitely not the only one to have been down that path. We're not bad people, we're human.
You can do it again and you will. Forgiveness will come with time, but know you're definitely not the only one to have been down that path. We're not bad people, we're human.
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