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5 months sober in a few days, on SR less and less

Old 09-05-2018, 06:58 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by apollo986 View Post
5 months is awesome LG- Friday will be my 5 months. Curious though, do you sleep well? I'm having a very difficult time.
Yes sleep is good - I'm super committed to an exercise routine where I'm literally up at 5:30am weekdays and 6:30 on weekends - makes it so that my body can't help but sleep when night comes. I had horrible, panic-ridden sleep for years as a drinker. So it's not something I'm familiar with - this healthy sleep. I still have nights that I am up with work stress etc - but that just feels matter of course at this point in life. The fitness routine is what gives me focus and energy.
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Old 09-05-2018, 07:05 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Accord1 View Post
Congrats on five months. I’m at five and a half. In the beginning, I never thought I’d get here. I’m new here and I’m sure this has been asked at nauseum, but has it gotten any easier for you? I find myself pleasantly bored out of my mind occasionally.
That's a great line - pleasantly bored - love it. My work situation - I'm making a major/high-risk career move as we speak - has me NOT feeling bored - but I do know the feeling you identify. I call it peace - something I don't remember ever experiencing in my life.

And yes - it definitely feels like it is easier now. Not sure how or what, maybe was time, maybe circumstance, maybe age, maybe just being sick and tired of being sick and tired but I just know, deep in my bones, that I am DONE with drinking. So even when a thought flits across my head about booze - I see it as just a thought of something that is long gone, like missing an ex-girlfriend. It was something I had, some time ago, and I no longer have it. For example I finished some yardwork the other day, the sun was setting, and I had the image of cracking a beer - but I KNEW I was not going to have a beer. It was just a thought. And the evening moved on.

Also being committed to a better life - family, friends, self, health, society - is something I can actually work on. Rather than just work on the world of lies I had to create to keep drinking.
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Old 09-05-2018, 07:10 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ladysadie View Post
Oh Less, you've been one of my fav's here. I just hope as you go through life you log on and let us know how you are doing. It feels like home to me to read your posts and I will miss hearing your words of encouragement should you NOT post. You've said before in other posts that you wondered how "so-and-so" was doing, and we shall wonder how you are as well. Please touch base from now and then. Wishing you the many blessings in life! Glad you are doing so well. xoxo
LS - thank you that's so kind and same to you. I guess I just wanted to post this feeling that I think many of us go through when we finally achieve sobriety - I think watching out for judgment/self-righteousness is important. On the other hand, even though we were deep in the muck many times, repeating the same horrors and patterns, there's a frustration in seeing that happen to others.

Ah to be human!

Thank you for the response LS and everyone - it means very much to me.
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Old 09-05-2018, 07:42 AM
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Hi and congats on 5 months. I have been around SR for a long time... sometimes posting, sometimes not but at least reading, sometimes MIA. FWIW the times I'm not active are tell tale danger signs. I like tough talk and straight shooting btw. Keep posting .
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Old 09-05-2018, 07:00 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I think spending less time here is fine, as long as you have a good support system for your recovery IRL. For me, at 8/9 months, I may not be posting quite as much but I would feel weird if I wasn't on SR daily.
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:09 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Congratulations on 5 months, and advance congrats on many, many more! Now, on to the “tough talk”...

In looking back at your time here, it seems like there were several time periods when you felt “different”, and like a “switch was flipped”...confident and secure. Then, your posting would slow to a stop, only to have you return later to start anew. I’m bringing this up just so you really make certain with yourself that this isn’t an early red flag. Best to you!
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:32 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Honest talk is like poetry, and most people hate poetry.

There is an art to laying the truth on the table like a gift. Especially when our impulse is to take the club of truth and bash people over the head with it.

I often fall short in my presentation. I want to see immediate results, not check back in 3 months and see if anyone has picked that gift of truth up off the table.

But every once in a while I get a PM where someone thanks me for something I posted. They say it really helped them. That's a feeling I am willing to risk a hundred 'your post sucked and you're mean's to get.

Congrats on 5 months.
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:38 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bev25 View Post
Congratulations on 5 months, and advance congrats on many, many more! Now, on to the “tough talk”...

In looking back at your time here, it seems like there were several time periods when you felt “different”, and like a “switch was flipped”...confident and secure. Then, your posting would slow to a stop, only to have you return later to start anew. I’m bringing this up just so you really make certain with yourself that this isn’t an early red flag. Best to you!
Pointing out my previous "confident" posts is a very worthy thing - and it's important for us sober drunks to both be aware of our previous attempts and failures, while at the same time not allow those failures to create doubt that leads to picking up again.

I know for many years the whole "Ah this sobriety can't last! Just look at your previous tries. You are going to drink again some day, just have one today..." mindset led to more drinking. Important to acknowledge but then move past.

Permanent sobriety is finally here for me. At long, long last.
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Old 09-06-2018, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
Pointing out my previous "confident" posts is a very worthy thing - and it's important for us sober drunks to both be aware of our previous attempts and failures, while at the same time not allow those failures to create doubt that leads to picking up again.

I know for many years the whole "Ah this sobriety can't last! Just look at your previous tries. You are going to drink again some day, just have one today..." mindset led to more drinking. Important to acknowledge but then move past.

Permanent sobriety is finally here for me. At long, long last.
I don’t mean to imply that this time won’t last, by any means, nor that past experiences are absolute indicators of the future. Just wanted to make sure that YOU are sure that waning involvement/interest in SR is not, for you, an early sign that something deep down is afoot; this thing can be insidious. Stay on the alert, and keep on keeping on! 🙂
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Old 09-06-2018, 09:15 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Heya, LG. Congrats on 5 months.

There’s a difference between being direct and being tone deaf. I liked the poetry comparison, too.

I come here still, after two years sober, but have my times where I disappear IRL. I’ve found that it helps keep me rooted.

Sometimes I don’t have it in me to respond to people, and that’s ok. Sometimes I just read and say a little “prayer”. I like that the button here isn’t a “like” button but a “thanks” button. I’m thankful, grateful, for peoples’ words - of pain, joy, hopelessness, gratitude, the whole gamut we see here.

I feel like a rockstar being sober this long and I have a lot going for me. I’m a changed person. But I’m still one drink away, even with everything I have, on the inside, outside, and swirling in my understanding of the cosmos.

Here’s a direct line for you: be careful making huge changes too soon. I’m really glad I’m retrospect that I didn’t. Five months is good - really good, and feels like a long time but it isn’t, with the perspective of how long you pickled for. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

I’m so, so glad I didn’t do some of the stuff I almost did in my first year. I had to get to know myself again, and it didn’t happen quickly.

Be well, friend.

B
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Old 09-06-2018, 11:35 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 5months, epic!
I find when I’m less involved on sr or take a break when I come back i have a different take on tings.
For want of a better analargy it’s like getting stuck with a puzzle, having a little break seems to help me look at the puzzle from a different angle when I go back to it triggering different thoughts on how to crack it.

Sorry for babbling!
A man’s got to do......
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Old 09-07-2018, 02:39 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Always thinking of you Less.

Do what feels right.

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Old 09-07-2018, 02:57 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
I'm having trouble staying an active member.
Sobriety is the goal. Your sobriety. How you do that...with SR, or without, is up to you.

At least check in on the big milestones and let us know how you are doing.
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Old 09-07-2018, 06:56 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I've been Sober for over 4 years, used to go on SR more often but now stop in only on weekends, mostly to read and hardly ever post. The important thing is that you know it's here when you need it

~Bunnez
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Old 09-08-2018, 10:41 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
I was just messaging with another member here about this - that although SR was such an integral and essential part of me finally getting sober, I'm having trouble staying an active member. I'm sure others who have been here a while have had the same experience?

I don't want lose this place and, though I know it will "always be here", my feelings about and experience posting and responding to posts has really changed over time. I want to be someone who supports others as I was supported. But it seems like the things that worked most for me - often tough talk or just plain, uncomfortable honesty - are both not effective and not encouraged.

Anyhow I'm going to be 5 months sober in a week or so, need to check my sober counter on my phone. For anyone struggling - there is a way out. You have it in you. It takes work and pain though. Embracing the pain and then allowing the gifts of sobriety to really take hold have cleared the path to a much, much better life for me.

I hope everyone here also finds the way. Thank you as always SR.
Awesome, if you feel like saying stuff then please do, it’s your recovery as well and I’m sure it will help others xx
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