newman23

I didn't know how to word this exactly. Recently, I just had 5.5 months sober. I had some cravings and entertained the thoughts slowly, and that lead to a relapse. I had my first use on Tuesday into Wednesday. On Tuesday night I drank 3 four lokos then Wednesday at 9am I was at the liquor store and got a vodka gallon. Everything went black and I came to in the hospital. After that use I was extremely sick for a day.

I'm wondering though, can I expect my cravings to be much stronger now that I had a lapse as compared to right before it happened and I had 5.5 months clean? Again, hard for me to word, but I'm wondering if I've lit the pilot light for my addiction now that the relapse happened, and if sobriety will be much harder then compared to just prior to the relapse. And looking to hear experiences.

Thanks!

least

I found that the more I relapsed, the harder it was to get sober again. Each relapse was worse too, an effect called 'kindling'.

It is possible to get sober again but it takes effort and determination. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

ScottFromWI

Hard to predict, but yes - some people do have stronger "cravings" or more serious withdrawals with each subsequent return to drinking/detox. Glad to hear you got help at a hospital, did they give you some resources to aid in staying quit?

Dee74

I think that is a fairly common phenomenon.

I know I used to think, 'well I relapsed now...may as well keep drinking.'

It makes no sense.

My advice is to not listen to things that make no sense.

Don't be passive about this.
You're in control not some voice in your head.

Be the person you want to be. Take action

D

kamm

When I wanted to be sober I got sober. When I didn’t want to be sober, any excuse to drink worked for me.

You can do this. Lapse or not. 🤗

Renvate

I found my intake was still just just as strong after 2months, I could drink it like water.

Ornithology

Does a lapse make your cravings stronger? Early in my sobriety I found it useful to keep track of my urges to drink. I’d write down the time each one started and ended. You’ll need a watch with a second hand to do this our urges are very short duration, like all of our thoughts. By logging my urges I discovered they were fairly fragile things. If I was sitting when an urge came on, I would disrupt it by simply standing or walking. Your mind tends to move on quickly from one thought to another. It’s quite difficult to hold onto a thought, even one that is a craving or an urge.
Is an urge stronger or different than one you had 20 minutes ago or two months ago? You tell me. After all, they’re your thoughts. You might want to use a numbering system in your logbook to keep track of how strong they are if you are interested in comparing them over time. Maybe use a rating scale of 1 to 5.
Try logging your urges to drink for one day. Be sure to time how long each urge lasts. Like I said, you’ll need a watch with a second hand. And a notebook.
You will learn a lot by tracking the frequency and duration of your cravings.

August252015

I'm sorry for your relapse. Dee and Scott have suggestions and thoughts I echo- what is the plan now?

The time sober you built isn't for naught, but what you do now is the key. I do not believe we get unlimited chances to quit and I kept going through too many hospital visits. I don't have a relapse in me.

Lots of things can make staying in recovery hard...life itself does that plenty. I have found that working a program and especially relying on it when faced with emotional and financial challenges like big ones over the past five days is the only thing that makes my recovery easier...

I hope you choose a permant path.

Hawking22

For me yes, absolutely. It's like I make up for the sober time I had and struggle to get even 2 days under my belt. It's doable though, and you're smarter this time around.

wildflower70

I had 6 months clean, and when I started up again, my relapse lasted a month. I think it's kind-of like Dee said, I'm already drinking....why stop now? Foolish thinking on my part! I spiraled down quickly, depressed, missing work, driving to the store for more while still tipsy...I'm back to day 3. Try to get back on track, sooner than later.

Best wishes to you

entropy1964

For me, yes a relapse would wake the beast. It would generally take some very unpleasant event, like waking up in a hospital, to slap me back into acceptance that I cannot drink without devastating consequences.

Acceptance and an absolute commitment to NOT drink no matter what seem to be the antidote to the obsession. But it can take a few months for the voice to really quiet down. So being bloody minded is pretty important.

You've been on the site for a while. Is this your first relapse?

Gottalife

The AA experience which is also covered in the Doctors Opinion is that once alcohol is in the system the phenomenon of craving kicks in and the next drink becomes paramount to all other considerations. The craving for me was so powerful that I have lost jobs directly as a result. It takes a few days to get the alcohol out of your system, so a aupervised detox is often the best bet.

The other type of craving is of a much lower order. Not so much like a full on assault where you can see the enemy but often subtle and cunning, a lurking notion that next time will be different, often barely even in the conscious mind. It might catch you out with a seemingly benign thought that you deserve a drink, or a casual acceptance of a friendly offer of a drink, after all, one couldn’t hurt right?

Once the fatal first drink is taken the more powerful craving can kick in. Even if it doesn’t on the first go, the insidious obsession gets new fuel and it is only a matter of time.

The only possible solution is complete abstinence and the means by which you will be able to achieve this will be dependent upon the extent to which you have already lost the power to chose whether you will drink or not.

Plenty of folks here still seemingly have the power of choice and can choose to not drink. I am not one of them. I lost the power of choice and never got it back. However it has still been possible for me to recover in spite of that, I just had to do things a bit differently .

Eddiebuckle

All I know is that cravings, mood swings, poor memory and all the other things that came with early sobriety get better over time. Whether they are worse than the first time around is irrelevant: you cannot unscramble that particular egg. Focus on what you need to do to stay sober today, and all the other things will fall into place in due course.


Good luck!

Buckley3

Too bad about the relapse.

I don't know about the cravings, but I read somewhere that our consumption level almost immediately hits whereever it was when we left off - no matter how much time has passed.

To be honest, I think it's AV speak. It's using fear to set you up for another relapse. It's the "oh, you've done it now it'll be much harder this time around" variety.

The reality is we only have today. And we can only make choices about our actions today. To be honest I think the place you should be investing your focus is on staying in the moment of today and choosing to just not drink, period. All the rest is probably just AV noise.

Today is a great day to not drink.

Leave it behind. For good. You deserve that.

-B