Jax4reale

I am interested in attending an A.A. meeting near mean. It says it is a closed meeting. Wondering if this would be a good start and if anyone has any suggestions on what to expect, and how to build the courage to actually go.
Thank you

Anna

Welcome! I am not an AA person, but it sounds like it could be helpful for you. And, I'm sure it's pretty normal to feel nervous about attending. Others should be along to give you more advice.

Taking5

A closed meeting is for anyone that has a desire to stop drinking. Your spouse/SO or a supportive friend is not welcome (unless they too, have a desire to stop drinking). An open meeting is open to anyone.

Dee74

welcome to SR Jax4reale

D

PhoenixJ

Just go. They are just people-helping each other. Go a little early and introduce yourself to the organizer/greeter (whatever they call themselves)...drink the coffee. You do not have to share. Just listen

Ghostlight1

It took me a long time to build up the courage to finally walk through the door.
I actually walked past the building a few times checking it out.
Going in, I was scared but wanting sobriety overcame my fear of attending.

Best decision I ever made. I was a bad drunk and met people just like me. Didn't know there were any.
I didn't say a word. Just listened. And learned.
I highly recommend you go. You have nothing t lose except a bad cup off coffee.
And, the thing was it worked. This drunk hasn't had a drink in over nine years now. You can do it, too.

Please give a meeting a go. I really hope you do. I'm with you in the spirit of sobriety.

Zebra1275

Don't overthink this.

Just go, you will be glad you did.

fini

yeah, just go, even if you don't have the courage.
and you don't even have to drink the coffee, either!

i don't say it lightly, about courage. when we feel we lack it, it seems that it is required in order to proceed.
but is it, really?
often, desperation and/or determination is quite sufficient.
you can do this.

least

Gather your courage and go. People just like you, there for the same reason. Closed means for alcoholics only. I bet you'll be glad you went.

MantaLady

I went to my first AA meeting about a month ago, like you I was so nervous and unsure but I am glad I did. Everyone was really nice, it was great to hear from others who felt just like I did. You don’t have to speak or share if you don’t want to, you can just say you would like to pass today so there is no pressure.

I sat in the car park for ages before the meeting thinking I might go home but I am so glad I didn’t.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. x

August252015

Did you go? Hope so.

To your question about whether a closed meeting is a good start, I'd add that it's fine- Newcomers Meetings and Open Discussion are great ideas to start with for someone interested in how.AA works. Usually there are als meetings called Step One which is the very beginning of the program. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.

Learning what this critical step means is the beginning. Like others said, people will be there who can welcome and help you. I think even those of us who knew our only option, or last one after trying others, were at the least a little nervous!


On SR a great place to start is the Class of Sep 2018 (or Aug perhaps if you already quit or feel that you started thinking about it and that's a better fit)- it's people starting out the same time you are. It's under Newcomers Daily Support Threads.

Hope you stay with us and start the IRL support that will help you get started and stay in the path of recovery.

Fly N Buy

Good, general information here https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-16_theaagroup.pdf

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


See ya soon

StartAnew68

I'm going to my first meeting on Monday - I spoke to a lady on the local helpline and she is going to speak to someone attending the meeting so that they can keep an eye out for me.

I'm in the UK, don't know what they do elsewhere, but I believe they will even arrange for someone to meet you beforehand

Inchworm

Welcome, Jax. Making the decision to go to a meeting was truly the best thing I ever did. Lots of love there and belonging. Just go!

honeypig

This is a keeper, fini, no matter which side of the alcoholic/codependent equation you're on. Thank you.

To the OP: I'm not an alcoholic myself, but I can tell you that it was very similar for me when contemplating getting to Alanon. Going there would mean everything was REAL--I couldn't deny or minimize or pretend any more. I'd be admitting there was a major problem, AND admitting that I wasn't able to control it...

So when I finally got to the tipping point of desperation, I rushed out of the house one winter night to a "Beginner's Meeting" near me. All I knew at that moment was that I needed some kind of help, and I needed it NOW.

It was a small meeting, only about 4 or 5 newbies and 2 "old salts" running the show. When they asked each of us what brought us there, I blurted out "I'm scared, I don't know what to do, and I feel so alone!" and then burst into tears. The fact that there was a box of Kleenex ready on the table was an indication that maybe I wasn't the only one who'd ever responded that way...

At the end of the meeting, one of the experienced Alanoners said "we are fortunate enough to have an Alanon book, "How Alanon Works", to give away this evening. We'll draw straws to see who gets it." Well, I didn't win the drawing, but the gal who did win looked across the table at me and said "I'd like to give the book to HER; I think she needs it more than me."

I went home, got into bed, and started reading the book. I felt the first glimmers of hope and peace that I'd felt in a long time, and fell asleep clutching the book. It was the start of a lot of things for me.

I hope you get to your meeting and I hope you find a doorway to a new way to live.

August252015

^^^What a brave share and story!! Seizing on that tiny bit of [ ] that spurs us to action is key for all of us. Thanks for sharing.

zoobadger

I mistakenly assumed that I'd stick out like a sore thumb as a new person in my first AA meeting. In fact, it's very easy and comfortable to just be a "fly on the wall" if that's your preference. The leader might ask if this is anybody's first ever meeting but you're not obligated to raise your hand.

If you do share that it's your first meeting, you'll be warmly welcomed and people might address their remarks to you in an encouraging manner. If somebody offers to be your sponsor - that's possible but not likely - you can just tell them that you're just exploring AA and not ready for that step.

Meeting formats vary, but generally, everybody who wishes can share a few thoughts thoughts about their recovery. Others will share anecdotes and thoughts that will move you, amuse you, and no matter what, make you think about sobriety and recovery.

One wrinkle is that at the end of most meetings everybody stands, hold hands, and recites the "serenity prayer."

Some meetings suit me more than others. I like meetings where we read and then reflect on stories from the Big Book. Sometimes people's remarks are long-winded and self-aggrandizing, but I've never attended a meeting that didn't include some thought-provoking and inspirational remarks.

An open mind and curiosity about sobriety and recovery is all that's required.

August252015

^^^^anyone going in with the spirit of that last line is ahead of the game! A desire to stop drinking is the only requirement so positive and open thoughts are even better.

Note, I was NOT excited to be at AA when I finally went. Even the Serenity Prayer infuriated me- how alcoholic is that?! But it started me on a life saving and life changing road.