wolvesascent

1 and a half months off of alcohol...


been a heavy user since 16 (now 26) past 5 years have been VERY heavy use... (talking about blacking out just about every single night of the week)


1 and a half months clean... keeping my mind busy.. going on trails.. going kayaking.. doing all sorts of things but...

NOTHING IS FUN.

NOTHING stimulates my mind at ALL and I mean at ALL.


the world is just completely grey and I don't feel any emotion at all.. I have anxiety so bad i'm scared when the sun goes down!



When the hell does life go back to before I was drinking.. and don't tell me to get on damn meds because i'd rather drink than be put on stupid antidepressants/anxiety for the rest of my life.

gypsytears

The longer you’re sober the better you’ll feel. As time goes on you figure out how to make the life you want. You have to make that happen. Hobbies, activities, friends...

wolvesascent

Then why the hell are so many people on here after YEARS AND YEARS of sobriety? It seems like it getting better is just a lie... Why the hell would you need reassurance and crap like that if life is just "so good" in sobriety.



why would you feel the need to still check in on sobriety forums if you are over alcohol.. I feel like it's just a constant struggle and life is going to suck

Anna

It's not a constant struggle and life doesn't have to suck unless you allow it to suck. You can make decisions to have an enjoyable life.

Personally, I come here to SR because I want to. I enjoy the interaction and hopefully can offer useful advice sometimes. If you believe recovery will be miserable, then it probably will be. For most of us here, recovery is great.

And, I do take antidepressants because my depression began in my teenage years and needs to be treated.

doggonecarl

I drank daily for 35 years. Come September, I will have had 8 blessed years without a drink. If I think of drinking, which isn't that often, the thought quickly passes. My health--mental and physical-- is great. I strive to be a good husband, provider, and citizen. I'm active in my church, my community, and with the canine rescue group I volunteer with. While I hesitate to say my life is wonderful, it is soooo much better than when I was drinking.

So why do I still log into Sober Recovery.

Maybe to give someone hope that a better life--a sober life-- is possible.

wolvesascent

Are you on antidepressants as well?


I refuse to go on antidepressants

Dee74

Hi wolvesacent

When I quit drinking I was pretty sure I'd never feel joy again - I thought that was the price I had to pay to be sober.

Things got progressively better for me though, slowly the first 30 days, then more quickly to 60 and 90 - by 90 days I was feeling like joy was no longer unobtainable for me and by about 4 months I was experiencing pleasure and joy again.

I think we underestimate the wear and tear our drinking has our minds and bodies.

Repair takes time

4 months can sound like a long time but when you put it against the 20 years I drank, it's not such a bad deal.

As for SR....I'm still here to try and share my experiences and hopefully help members like yourself

D

wolvesascent

Dee74 how much did you drink when you did drink???


i'm scared the damage I have done is not reversible...


an entire bottle of liquor would only last me 3-4 days... i'd drink at night and every night

Dee74

I was drinking around the clock by the time I quit WA.

I think seeing a Dr for detox is the safest way.

as for irreversible damage - most folks find the prognosis is better than they feared

D

Dill60

Wolvesascent, You said been sober 1 1/2 months. I can tell you that 2 months is a key milestone that many people have told me that's when they feel they're coming out of that dark. The depressive symptom was my very worse one. It won't happen overnight but, bare in mind that the relief will gradually be enough and encouraging to where you know you can handle it.

Dill60

That is a great thing to post. I have struggled around that same amount of time.

Dill60

I think I understand where you're coming from. In early sobriety it's hard to understand how sober people, especially people that have always been sober or have been for a while, seem to be on some strange natural high I guess. It makes you wonder if they live in reality. But, I think we all have it built in us to reach that natural happiness again. Until then, life can seem like a raw, hopeless, unworthy existence.

MantaLady

There are some very reputable studies showing one of the most effective ways to achieve long term sobriety is to pay it forward and help others who are struggling with the same issues. It really is one of the foundation stones of a successful recovery. The longer you are sober the further away the bad memories and feelings you get when you were in the grip of addiction so helping others who are just starting out reminds you how you once felt and how insidious addiction can be.

Addiction is a very misunderstood disease, normal people say “why can’t you just stop drinking? Why do you keep doing this, pull yourself together etc etc. Many Doctors and healthcare professionals don’t even understand the nature of addiction unless they are specifically trained in this area which makes it hard to get the right help.

Every day I am grateful for all the recovering alcoholic’s who help new comers to sobriety. It is those people that supported me, never judged me and really understood what I was going through more than anyone. They never turned their backs on me, were always there when I reached out or was down or angry or needed advice. xx

MantaLady

I found this poem on a wall in the rehab I went to from one of the ex clients. Paying it forward and addicts/alcoholics helping each other, a sober community supporting each other is probably one of the most important and valuable things. The opposite of addiction is connection as they say. Just wanted to share it with you! x


An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out.

A business man went by . The addict called out for help. The business man threw him some money and told him to buy a ladder. But the addict could not find a ladder in this hole he was in to buy.

A Doctor walked by. The addict said "Help, I can't get out" . The Doctor gave him some drugs and said "take this and it will relieve the pain". The addict said thanks, but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole

A renowned phsychiatrist rode by and heard the addicts cries for help. He stopped and asked "How did you get in there?. Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alieviate your sense of loneliness". So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the phsychiatrist had to leave but said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him but was still in this hole.

A priest came by and heard the addict calling for help. The priest gave him a bible and said "I'll pray for you". The priest got down on his knees and prayed for the addict, then left. The addict was very grateful and he read the whole bible but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out "Hey, Help me, I am stuck in this hole". Right away the recovering addict jumped in the hole with him. The addict said "What are you doing? Now we're both stuck in this hole". But the recovering addict said "It's OK, I have been here before, I know the way out"

sweetichick

That's the greatest post I have read on here for a while. Thanks so much for sharing it.

starstarstar

What a wonderful post! Thank you!

ScottFromWI

I was sober for about 2 years before I finally accepted that my anxiety was a distinct and separate problem that needed separate treatment. I refused to do a lot of things during that time too - swore I'd never do meds, swore I didn't need to see a counselor, told myself that sobriety sucked and that nothing was fun anymore, all those things.

Change for the better is always possible wolf - but you have to be willing to accept help. Most of us have underlying issues that we also need to accept and treat - whether they be physical or mental.

Hawking22

I also suffer from the need for constant stimulation and am constantly moving from one thing to another asking "okay, what next?". I'm also trying to find that magic solution that provides me purpose and calms me the hell down so I can sit still. I swear I'm either raging and want to smash things or just blah and asking "what's the point of it all". What keeps me going is how many people echo how normal this is...it's part of this journey. We have to learn patience and keep looking for solutions and answers. We also have to have faith that it won't always be this way. Think of how long we were using. Daily, heavily...I would drink a 750 ml of vodka in four hours almost every night. I would avoid or numb every feeling I've had. So of course the anxiety and depression are very much there and very uncomfortable. But it's going to take us more than a month and a half to feel better (I'm on day 59).

I've never had substantial time under my belt, and I have a pretty big social network (not really anyone I'd consider myself close to except a couple of close friends) and social butterfly is my status. However, the connection I feel with people that GET IT, like here on SR or in AA is invaluable to me. I can sit next to 9 complete strangers of different backgrounds, ethnicities, cultures, orientations, etc and they get me more than my best friend of 16 years. That is divine, my friend. So I don't think people come on here necessarily X amount of time just for reassurance; it's for community, it's for that bond, it's to help people like you and I realize we're not alone.

There are lots of techniques to minimize anxiety and depression, some work for others, some don't. I've found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works the best for me and I was inspired to create my own worksheet I fill out everyday to help me identify the source of my stress, anger, etc. It helps me realize how focused on "self" I am, and how to logically overcome certain traps I find myself in.

Hang on for the ride, my friend. I know it will be worth it.

tekink

I was a total mess for 6 months and even then improvements were small and incremental. It takes some time for our brains to adjust to being sober.

At 1.5 months I was an emotional mess, hang in there it does get better. I had to make a full year to actually feel "good" but it's been worth it.

Helianthus

Everyone is different but I'm sure your emotions will come back. I heard someone say once that the best thing about being sober is you get your feelings back and the worst thing about being sober is you get your feelings back.

Personally, I am ok with a (hopefully) short period of time where I may feel nothing or a bit down compared to the roller coaster of emotions I felt when I was drinking.

Trying to force yourself to be happy because you think you should be can do more harm than good.