Losing my marriage to heroine
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Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1
Losing my marriage to heroine
When i met my husband, he was a recovering heroine addict with 10 years of sobriety under his belt. He relapsed a year and a half ago, and twice since, for weeks at a time and I'm starting to think I'll never get the man i married back... I don't know how to be patient and supportive when I'm losing hope and this is tearing our lives and financial stability apart. I love him. I don't want to lose him via divorce or overdose... But I'm living my life waiting for the ball to drop. He's supposedly clean for 2 weeks now, but he's so good at hiding it that I never know... Or can prove it... until it's too late ... My anxiety is through the roof and I have no real control over him/ finances... I don't know what to do, other than walk away and start over.... But that's the last thing I want to do
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 316
I'm very sorry you're going through this right now. Very stressful.
Number one, I'm going to suggest you go to the Friends and Family of Narcotics Abusers section a little further down this website on the forums section. Number two, I would urge you to seek out something like Alanon or Narcanon for friends and family of drug users. They offer support and help for people in your position. If they don't have NarcAnon, go to Alanon.
Number three, if there is any way you can open up a separate bank account for yourself or for your own paycheck, do so immediately. If you have your pay direct deposited into a joint account, have that stopped immediately and switched to your new account. The person that an addict becomes when they are using is not the person you fell in love with. They will lie to you, take money or valuables, and in general put their drug first. It's not sane, but that's the truth. You must protect yourself as much as you can financially or you will feel like an absolute fool later. You also need to get as much emotional, spiritual, mental health support as you can for you. You can't make another person get sober if they don't want to, but you can take care of you so that you're in a sane space so you can make rational decisions. Right now you're living in a hurricane. I wish you well. Take care.
Number one, I'm going to suggest you go to the Friends and Family of Narcotics Abusers section a little further down this website on the forums section. Number two, I would urge you to seek out something like Alanon or Narcanon for friends and family of drug users. They offer support and help for people in your position. If they don't have NarcAnon, go to Alanon.
Number three, if there is any way you can open up a separate bank account for yourself or for your own paycheck, do so immediately. If you have your pay direct deposited into a joint account, have that stopped immediately and switched to your new account. The person that an addict becomes when they are using is not the person you fell in love with. They will lie to you, take money or valuables, and in general put their drug first. It's not sane, but that's the truth. You must protect yourself as much as you can financially or you will feel like an absolute fool later. You also need to get as much emotional, spiritual, mental health support as you can for you. You can't make another person get sober if they don't want to, but you can take care of you so that you're in a sane space so you can make rational decisions. Right now you're living in a hurricane. I wish you well. Take care.
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