Made my decision
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Made my decision
I have been around here awhile and made quite a few half hearted attempts to quit drinking.
I have found that I have not been able to post as much as I would like to, even though I am sober now. Today is 11 days.
Since my last drink I have read a lot here and elsewhere regarding recovery methods, the same as I have for years. I intended on devising a plan of how I was going to stay sober.
Over the past few days of research I have realized what is best for me and I made my decision to never drink again no matter what. To never change my mind.
I appreciate this site a lot and hope I can find time to contribute here more. Everyone that participates here has helped my life in ways I cannot fully understand.
If I can I hope to use this thread as an updater to check in and let everyone know how I am doing from time to time.
Until then thank you ...
I have found that I have not been able to post as much as I would like to, even though I am sober now. Today is 11 days.
Since my last drink I have read a lot here and elsewhere regarding recovery methods, the same as I have for years. I intended on devising a plan of how I was going to stay sober.
Over the past few days of research I have realized what is best for me and I made my decision to never drink again no matter what. To never change my mind.
I appreciate this site a lot and hope I can find time to contribute here more. Everyone that participates here has helped my life in ways I cannot fully understand.
If I can I hope to use this thread as an updater to check in and let everyone know how I am doing from time to time.
Until then thank you ...
Re-Tread
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
First AV onslaught
Two weeks sober today.
Yesterday afternoon there was quite an adventure in my head.
I have had a good two weeks, basically normal old life. Wife doing her stuff, kid routines, work. Gotten a lot done.
It has been cooling off here feeling more like fall. I walked out of work yesterday and got my daughter from school then while on the way to go get my son the addictive voice hit.
Images, smells, and feelings of drinking pumpkin beer out on the deck, leaves changing, nostalgia.
I dismissed the thoughts and reaffirmed my decision many times, but that AV persisted. This went on for one to two hours.
It got so bad I could see the labels on the cans.
I know the addiction has long used seasons to induce emotion in me. Hot summer days and margaritas. Vanilla porters when the snow falls and relaxation in a hot tub. Old fashioneds at swanky bars on date night.
The images are so vivid it is surprising. They were never there when I was drinking. An obvious out of nowhere attempt to overwhelm me and get me back on the merry go round.
Not gonna happen.
Yesterday afternoon there was quite an adventure in my head.
I have had a good two weeks, basically normal old life. Wife doing her stuff, kid routines, work. Gotten a lot done.
It has been cooling off here feeling more like fall. I walked out of work yesterday and got my daughter from school then while on the way to go get my son the addictive voice hit.
Images, smells, and feelings of drinking pumpkin beer out on the deck, leaves changing, nostalgia.
I dismissed the thoughts and reaffirmed my decision many times, but that AV persisted. This went on for one to two hours.
It got so bad I could see the labels on the cans.
I know the addiction has long used seasons to induce emotion in me. Hot summer days and margaritas. Vanilla porters when the snow falls and relaxation in a hot tub. Old fashioneds at swanky bars on date night.
The images are so vivid it is surprising. They were never there when I was drinking. An obvious out of nowhere attempt to overwhelm me and get me back on the merry go round.
Not gonna happen.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
A very well described post about a challenging and difficult experience. Nice work man. I think when you get through that and you identify all the aspects of it, all your taking away from it in the end is more sober muscles. Congrats.
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