Fear
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Fear
I am so overwhelmed I am pacing.
We have a family history of breast cancer. Leftie isn't original equipment.
It's been 10 years. All clear since.
It's my girl. Youngest daughter. Mom to type 1 peep.
I knew something has been off....today she tells me she's meeting with a dr at the women's center. Her mammogram shows a 3 cm growth that needs to be biopsied.
I just can't explain the panic and fear I feel.
Could I drink right this minute if it was in the house? Honestly, yes. Would it change, fix or alter anything other than my self worth? No.
I can 'talk' to no one about this as its her story to tell when she has more answers.
So, really folks...thanks for being here....
We have a family history of breast cancer. Leftie isn't original equipment.
It's been 10 years. All clear since.
It's my girl. Youngest daughter. Mom to type 1 peep.
I knew something has been off....today she tells me she's meeting with a dr at the women's center. Her mammogram shows a 3 cm growth that needs to be biopsied.
I just can't explain the panic and fear I feel.
Could I drink right this minute if it was in the house? Honestly, yes. Would it change, fix or alter anything other than my self worth? No.
I can 'talk' to no one about this as its her story to tell when she has more answers.
So, really folks...thanks for being here....
And I hope your daughter will be alright. Being sober and able to support her is the best you can do for her at the moment I guess.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
3wolves, I'm sorry you're going through this frightening time. Prayers for your daughter are going up.
We always fall back on thinking a drink will calm us. Even though - as you said - it can't fix a thing. It may give us a little break from reality, but it's never worth the price. I'm so glad you already realize that.
Kev said it well - being sober & able to support your daughter is the best thing for her.
Please let us know how things are going. We care about you.
We always fall back on thinking a drink will calm us. Even though - as you said - it can't fix a thing. It may give us a little break from reality, but it's never worth the price. I'm so glad you already realize that.
Kev said it well - being sober & able to support your daughter is the best thing for her.
Please let us know how things are going. We care about you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
You're absolutely right. Alcohol would do nothing to help at all, and just mean you were less emotionally available to your precious girl when she needs you.
Prayers going out for you and yours from the isle of the eels this morning. I'll pop in the cathedral and light you a couple of candles as well.
BB
Prayers going out for you and yours from the isle of the eels this morning. I'll pop in the cathedral and light you a couple of candles as well.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
I took a sleeping pill last night. I woke up crying. It won't stop.
I'm home alone all day with my thoughts. I'm going to try and turn this nervous energy into a clean house.....
My girl and I talked last night. I told her I would pray for a fast, positive outcome.
She asked " what's prayer going to change Mom? It is already whatever it is".
I pray anyway.
I'm home alone all day with my thoughts. I'm going to try and turn this nervous energy into a clean house.....
My girl and I talked last night. I told her I would pray for a fast, positive outcome.
She asked " what's prayer going to change Mom? It is already whatever it is".
I pray anyway.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I'm a big believer in the power of prayer. Prayer for healing for one thing, but also for God's love, grace and mercy to carry you both. That he will be your rock.
The serenity prayer is also a great one.
BB
The serenity prayer is also a great one.
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 138
Made it thru my weekend.
Was grand peep in heavens Birthday yesterday.
Peep 3 was hanging out with me. No school. He's not just type 1 but on the spectrum as well. Needless to say, when I knew I was going to have a moment, I would go outside and gather myself. I was sitting on my porch in one such emotional wave when something on my favorite plant caught my eye. It was shaking, moving...... I went and got peep, we sat ther together, watching wings unfurl and take its first tentative wing action. A beautiful butterfly.
His wonder was as grand and intense as mine.
I asked to know that the birthday boy was happy....for my girl to be ok.
Butterflies have always been special to us. Beauty and life from such a dark place...I am in awe and I am grateful.
Hugs all around.
Was grand peep in heavens Birthday yesterday.
Peep 3 was hanging out with me. No school. He's not just type 1 but on the spectrum as well. Needless to say, when I knew I was going to have a moment, I would go outside and gather myself. I was sitting on my porch in one such emotional wave when something on my favorite plant caught my eye. It was shaking, moving...... I went and got peep, we sat ther together, watching wings unfurl and take its first tentative wing action. A beautiful butterfly.
His wonder was as grand and intense as mine.
I asked to know that the birthday boy was happy....for my girl to be ok.
Butterflies have always been special to us. Beauty and life from such a dark place...I am in awe and I am grateful.
Hugs all around.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
