I'm really hurt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 55
I'm really hurt
A woman came from AA to take me to a meeting and made a big deal about how much we had in common and said she would help.
Now she won't take my call.
I'm wondering why she would lie and hurt someone who in so much pain
Now she won't take my call.
I'm wondering why she would lie and hurt someone who in so much pain
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
That is hurtful! Something I had to learn early is that we just don't know what is going on with anyone else. And usually, it is not about us. Hopefully she wasn't intentionally trying to mislead you or hurt you in any way- I would just keep focusing on people in AA who can and will make themselves available.
Keep going, and stay sober and you will have chances to meet folks who will support you. Life happens, and I have to remember that I am only the most important person to me.
Keep going, and stay sober and you will have chances to meet folks who will support you. Life happens, and I have to remember that I am only the most important person to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by Magnolia17 
A woman came from AA to take me to a meeting and made a big deal about how much we had in common and said she would help.
Now she won't take my call.
I'm wondering why she would lie and hurt someone who in so much pain
Now she won't take my call.
I'm wondering why she would lie and hurt someone who in so much pain
Thank you everyone. I'm extremely raw and vulnerable right now.
I would think someone who can says she's been successfully working her program for six years wouldn't would be honest and not jerk a newcomers around?
Now I don't know who to trust
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
A woman came from AA to take me to a meeting
she did make this effort so let's not discount that.
when you say "won't take your calls" what do you mean?
you have called and left a message? how recently?
people DO get busy.......i know on my cellphone the message thingie can be up there for days before i get around to listening to voice mail.
she is not the only person you could call. she did not REJECT you. try not to see whatever everyone else does as a personal move against you.
call the AA hotline in your area. get more numbers when you attend a meeting. own your recovery.
she did make this effort so let's not discount that.
when you say "won't take your calls" what do you mean?
you have called and left a message? how recently?
people DO get busy.......i know on my cellphone the message thingie can be up there for days before i get around to listening to voice mail.
she is not the only person you could call. she did not REJECT you. try not to see whatever everyone else does as a personal move against you.
call the AA hotline in your area. get more numbers when you attend a meeting. own your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Big hugs to you Magnolia. I have been there. I am really sensitive, especially when I've just gotten sober or am hoping I've found a friend. She probably is just really busy and hasn't noticed your call yet. Or maybe something awful happened and she's dealing with that. Or maybe she's just self-centered and uncaring. Whatever it is, it isn't you. I agree with others here who said keep going to the meetings and talk to others.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
A woman came from AA to take me to a meeting
she did make this effort so let's not discount that.
when you say "won't take your calls" what do you mean?
you have called and left a message? how recently?
people DO get busy.......i know on my cellphone the message thingie can be up there for days before i get around to listening to voice mail.
she is not the only person you could call. she did not REJECT you. try not to see whatever everyone else does as a personal move against you.
call the AA hotline in your area. get more numbers when you attend a meeting. own your recovery.
she did make this effort so let's not discount that.
when you say "won't take your calls" what do you mean?
you have called and left a message? how recently?
people DO get busy.......i know on my cellphone the message thingie can be up there for days before i get around to listening to voice mail.
she is not the only person you could call. she did not REJECT you. try not to see whatever everyone else does as a personal move against you.
call the AA hotline in your area. get more numbers when you attend a meeting. own your recovery.
I want to be able to trust. Im tired of my life feeling like hell
Sorry it's just a confusing time for me.
Magnolia
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Originally Posted by Magnolia17
Thank you. I just feel low and enough as it is. I have trust issues as it is and I just want to believe that SOMEONE cares right now
I want to be able to trust. Im tired of my life feeling like hell
Sorry it's just a confusing time for me.
I want to be able to trust. Im tired of my life feeling like hell
Sorry it's just a confusing time for me.
Keep going to meetings, call that hotline, get other numbers to call too. People are generally caring and want to help. As someone pointed out, she did take you to the meeting.
I think you'll feel better, more confident as the days go by. Detox and early days are hard!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,964
I am very sensitive and get my feelings hurt very easily too. I was way worse when drinking. I still over analyze people and take things personally but not as bad, and I move on more quickly. I realize that usually it’s not personal. People are busy or they are rude or don’t really care. People do let me down, even my close friends. I’ve had to really just lean on myself and let things go. Caring people will eventually come around. We all care about you!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
People have feet of clay. They will always let you down, whether by intent or accident. That is why AA is so focussed on getting you connected to your own higher power. It's more reliable than people.
Having said that, these days it is a pretty genuine AA who would go out of their way to take you to a meeting. I don't think that is a sign of an uncaring person.
Having said that, these days it is a pretty genuine AA who would go out of their way to take you to a meeting. I don't think that is a sign of an uncaring person.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
Magnolia17 there are a thousands of reasons she may not have answered that don't relate to you. As others indicated she may have encountered a personal difficulty and is unable to reply to you. Reach out to others in AA.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Magnolia, people are here to listen and care.
Honestly, if I am in my office, because it is a steel building with a steel roof and concrete floor, I get very spotty reception. It literally depends on where my phone is sitting on my desk. Some days it will ring, some days I might get a text to let me know I have a vm - other days when it is 8" to the left of my coffee cup and my scissors are too close, I get nothing
I sometimes don't find vm's until days later and I always tell people to leave a vm because it just won't ring or register that someone has called.
Honestly, if I am in my office, because it is a steel building with a steel roof and concrete floor, I get very spotty reception. It literally depends on where my phone is sitting on my desk. Some days it will ring, some days I might get a text to let me know I have a vm - other days when it is 8" to the left of my coffee cup and my scissors are too close, I get nothing
I sometimes don't find vm's until days later and I always tell people to leave a vm because it just won't ring or register that someone has called.
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