Watching the Process of Getting Drunk
 

This past weekend I went to gathering where I met up with old high school friends. This is a yearly event. In past years I have always left early because I had to get home to my dogs. Well, I no longer have dogs so I decided I'd stay.

I have not had a drink in over 3.5 years and in those years I've went to parties and events that serve alcohol but I've generally left around 11 pm and gone home.

As the evening progressed, most of the people in our group went home until there was only 5 of us remaining. The event we were at was going to be shutting down (around 11 pm) and we were not ready to go home and I volunteered to drive us to a bar. We went to lovely little bar with a musician on an acoustic guitar. Nice cozy atmosphere.

What I observed. My friends were getting loud. Of the 4, one guy never changed much - he drank quietly but did't say too much. Another, who I can only describe as being like Jay Gatsby in that he was the director of how the evening should go, certainly got more and more animated, red faced, and hitting on me. The other guy got progressively more intoxicated - in fact, he seemed drunk much early in the event, he was slurring his words, repeating himself and I found him to be incredibly boring and I would try to avoid talking to him.

We closed the bar and drove to one of my friends homes.

My girlfriend got quite drunk. She was very happy and animated but by 2:00 am she was staggering and at one point fell off her chair. and then gets a very bad case of hiccups.

It is now 2:30 am and I'm tired and really just wanting to end the evening and say so. I drove the other guy home (the quiet one) and then drive to my friends house (I am staying overnight there).

So, I did what I wanted to do, which was stay up for the party because I haven't done that in years. I saw how most people go home at reasonable hours, but there are a few who remain and do HARD partying (and that used to be me). Despite me not drinking that night, I was super tired the next day due to lack of sleep. My girlfriend felt like death warmed over and could not remember the last couple of hours.

I won't be doing that again - mainly because I need my sleep and also because it's not a lot of fun listen to slurring and repeated stupid stories.

I'll be sticking to my leaving at reasonable hour and getting my sleep because what goes on in the wee hours of the morning is really not much fun.

CF

Yes. It’s def nice not to be the fool

The same story over and over again isn't that funny anymore is it?

It wasn't funny the first time and if I were to point it out that they already told me that 2 times, the person would get indignant and probably end up calling me some name since I'm not riveted to his boring story.

LOL! Well done for not drinking and congratulations on 3.5 plus years. You joined SR about the same time as me so I notice your posts

^^^^ when I rad that question, I also thought, huh the same story of my nights of that kind wasn't funny either...

I have a tshirt I love that says I came, I saw, I left early. Totally my style now. Much more fun, and funny!

Thanks so much for posting this. See- we really aren't missing anything! All that partying, all those fun times we sometimes feel nostalgia were an illusion- they weren't real. There's 2 types of people: those who cannot control their drinking and become obnoxious or hard to deal with, and those who CAN control their drinking but their personality really doesn't change too much from their sober personality. So what are we missing?! I don't wanna be the obnoxious girl, I'd rather stay myself, and I stay myself by being sober.

I used to live with an alcoholic and he had a ton of friends over where they would drink and smoke weed. Lots of drinks. Lots of weed.

I'd call it "defensive drinking," because it would drive me crazy if I weren't sober. During my long(ish) period of "taking a break from drinking" towards the end of that time after a few too many withdrawals, I could not stand it!

Was the DD on a winetasting excursion with my friend, who remained relatively sober. The rest of the ladies got 'faced and quite annoying.

I remember attending a Christmas party a few years ago. At the time I was around 8 months sober and on the night I drove. I had great time with my friends and the food was really good. As the evening progressed most of the party were getting more and more drunk. I think out of the 20 who were there it was only me and two other ‘drivers’ who were sober. I noticed that one of my friends who was normally quiet was getting really loud and swearing quite a lot. Years ago I would never have noticed but it struck me as odd and out of character. When some of my friends spoke to me their breath smelt really bad and they were slurring and stumbling about. I noticed in the restaurant that there were a few families just out for a quiet meal. I felt really uncomfortable that my friends were being loud, swearing and generally obnoxious. They were completely oblivious to the scene they were creating but you could see some families felt quite threatened by their behaviour. By 11 pm I couldn’t wait to get out of there so I quickly said a few goodbyes and left. I don’t even think they realised I’d gone. On the drive home I thought about the evening and I was so glad I didn’t get involved with the drinking. I was equally glad that I could go to bed that night safe in the knowledge I’d wake up without a hangover.

Gave me chills and sadness to think about how often I would repeat myself when I was deep in my drunk days.

I would play it off with my wife - oh yes of course, and she would worry at times. But never really knew, or maybe could even imagine, the depths of my horrors.

Sigh.

Nice to be on this side of sobriety. Thank you for the reminder. Never again.

How true. Drunk people are so boring and dramatic!

Congrats on 3.5 years!!

Sorry to be a bit of a wet blanket here, but I find these kinds of posts judgemental & disrespectful. Our decision to be alcohol free doesn't make us better than others. We don't suddenly become cool kids, or part of any special club. It wasn't all that long ago that we were those people that we're now so quick to jump up on our highhorses & judge.
The only side of the street we need to keep clean is our own.

I prefer not to be around people drinking.
While it may be a reminder of what I was like, the smell of alcohol is repulsive to me these days.

I am not judging others, I just choose not to be around it.

To each their own
Live and let live
and so on.

Purpleman thank you for this post. I am new to all this and still Shakey but my reason for quitting certainly don't isn't so I can feel I have "and one up" on those that DO drink

I don't believe my post was "one upping" anyone. It was an observation of how people act when they are drunk. I used to act that way. I think it is important for me to remember that so I don't start romanticizing about my old drinking days.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, and since I have been sober, just a short time , a little over a month, I noticed at AA meetings that members with lots of sobriety time look down on us newcomers, this really annoys me , it's childish and hypocritical to what AA trys to teach. One other thing , I am certainly not ready to be going out with my old drinking buddy's and when or if I am ready , I will hopefully have the sense to leave before they become drunk not because of haughtiness , because I will fear a relapse, I loved getting drunk I just can not do it anymore.My hat is off to people who can do this , you must be truly recovered, all I think about is alcohol right now, and sobriety. However I do not want to be thinking about sobriety the rest of my life, non alcoholic's do not dwell about sobriety , why should we.

CF, you could give yourself a pat on the back for keeping your friends safe. A sober friend can be a very good friend.

My memory of being surrounded by people drinking was a stark reminder of why I gave up and why I did not want to go back. Seeing good friends drinking to excess and embarrassing themselves was really worrying and it made me feel quite vulnerable.

I would never pre judge or mock another person with a drinking problem. With my track record I firstly have no right to and more importantly recovering alcoholics should know better than anyone how hard the road to change can be.

It sometimes bothers me that even on this forum there is occasionally a lack of understanding. I’ve had drinking problems for 20 years and I’ve tried and failed on numerous occasions to quit. I sometime feels like I’m getting beat up on here because I’m not listening to people’s advice but the fact is I’m an addict and I’m struggling with this stuff. I find it difficult to keep on track. Alcohol is a drug that is just as bad as cocaine and cigarettes. Society in general has unfortunately has not accepted this fact which is why we all constantly bombarded with conflicting information about alcohol. If I gave up smoking people would be so pleased for me and would accept I’ve done the right thing. You give up booze and people think you are crazy. The government is quick to outlaw recreational drugs and put warnings on cigarette packets but they won’t take the same stance with alcohol? Why not?! There are more deaths and illnesses related to alcohol than any other drug yet it is still deemed safe to consume?! Absolute nonsense.

Apologies for going off on one, I’m currently at day three and feeling slightly edgy!

Great post Calicofish, watching the show without beer goggles on. Nothing judgemental in that, just highlighting the reality of the situation.

You described a typical evening for hard drinkers here, and one that is vivid for me and I’d imagine, for most of us.

I don’t hear you attacking anyone’s character here, or judging anyone. Maybe I missed it, but what I see here is a good post that newcomers and not-so-newcomers alike can get something from.

It’s easy to romanticize partying. In fact literally everyone in early recovery and on, will do it. Posts like this are powerful reminders of what is really in that romance.

It’s evident that you really like your friends, but don’t wish to engage again in the behavior exhibited there. It was a really helpful descriptive. Who could blame you?

Thanks

b