Acceptance
 

Today I am trying to find acceptance. My husbands recovery seems to have fallen flat and he is currently in our new flat using daily whilst I am staying at my mums
As I am too exhausted with the daily battle for money to score. He robbed me last weekend and is becoming more and more desperate I have taken myself away. I made the choice to move to reduce our out goings as I am paying all the bills and have been since last October and the debts are mounting. I didn’t put his name on the tenancy so I am not sure how easy it is to ask him to leave I Wil be seeking legal advice so I am aware of my rights.
The problem is I am not ready to give up the battle for his recovery and I am not ready to lose him to prison or the streets or death and I know this is what it means if I ask him to leave and he won’t go without a fight as I am literally all he has. He lost 12 years of his life last time his addictions took over and when he camw out of prison 5 years ago he was so determined to make a good life hence we re connected. He worked and we got married but struggled to conceive which has been devasting for us both. I do attend family groups and am starting to build a support network. He had been attending fellowship meetings and has some great people in his life if he wants if he chooses recovery. He has an appointment tomorrow with a drug unit and talk of a detox but I am full of fear I am not sure I am ready for this ugly sad next stage and at the base of it all is I still love him and care for him deeply and just wanted a happy ending pathetic as that sounds. I am
Also nearly 40 and have to accept the chances of me becoming a mum are now not looking great. Lots to accept and hard to let go but I know I have too.

I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. I don't have any experience of the drug world, but as I understand it, there is a good deal of support availabe for family members. You could look up alanon, and also visit the friends and family forum on this site. All the best