Need advice
 

My drinking has escalated recently. I'm sneaking beers when my wife is not around and the last two days I started drinking very early in the morning. I don't want my life to be like this. Should I attend a meeting? I just don't know where to begin.

Joining SR is a great starting point. Look around the forums, read other posts, post as much as you need. SR has been a comforting and secure place to land while transitioning into sobriety.

When I look back at my 'quitting' history, my addiction got worse before it got better. I wasn't completely 'all in' so my addiction fought like crazy to hold on to the foot hold that it had. I started to hide my drinking, lie about my drinking. I went underground and that made things far worse. It was a miserable decade of quitting for periods of time, and then going on brief but stunningly awful benders.

If a meeting will help, by all means. You can quit. You just have to be 100% committed to the cause. Sometimes getting to that point takes some time so use whatever means you can to get there.

Hello and welcome.
My drinking escalated , too. I also started drinking in the morning. I was single so I didn't have anyone to hide it from, though.

By all means attend a meeting. I know they saved my ass.
It's progressive, and it sounds like you're starting to show signs of that. Not good.
Do yourself a favor and stop now before you hit the lows I did. And it was bad.
You made a good start by coming here. You'll find lots of support.
Best to you.

I think that motivation is the key in recovery. If you are motivated to stop drinking and change your life, you will do it. SR is an excellent place to be inspired in your journey.

It's great to have you join us, Sunstorm. I'm so glad you're taking a look at what alcohol is doing to your life. I wish I'd paid attention to the warning signs - the way you are. I kept trying to use willpower to control myself - it never worked once.

Welcome - you will find encouragement here. :)

Thank you for the advice, everyone. Even though I drank yesterday, I feel refreshed today and hopeful to get through the day clean. I took a long hot shower this morning and felt it was almost like a spiritual cleaning in a way. I didn't have any cravings this morning and I'm looking forward to taking on the day without grabbing a drink. I am such a better person/employee/husband/father when I'm not drinking...

Welcome Sun. I could have posted your exact post may years ago. It's the beginning of what could very well be a long slide into a deep hole. The hiding and the early drinking - man I know those ways too well.

Meetings are a great way to get your head right. There are plenty of AA peeps on this site who can guide you there. Although I'm not an AA'er, I found meetings to be very helpful at certain times during my attempts to get sober, especially in the early days.

There are lots of resources on SR as well. Have you heard of Rational Recovery? That book and this website were the two means by which I finally got sober.

How are you today?

Do you know why you drink in the morning?
Check your triggers. H.A.L.T. (Hunger, Angriness, Lonliness,Tiredness) plus any other personal reason.
Try satisfying those without drinking.
Going to meetings will help you learn more about why we drink. Just try it.

Glad you found us!

I found that I was really struggling to do this alone and that counselling has been a big help. I've also just started going to meetings and I like it. It's such a relief to talk to people who understand. Just like SR! You can learn so much here and I wish you best wishes in your journey x

I hope you can use the support here and in meetings to get sober for good. :)

Never heard about it so I looked it up. The part about the Addictive Voice really hits home! That's amazing. Thank you for pointing out the book and website.

Yes on the weekends I tend to drink more and the result? A hangover. Unfortunately this past weekend I've been reaching into the fridge for a beer in the morning to cure the hangover. Hair of the dog as we've all heard. Terrible, terrible idea.

Hope it helps. Like I said, along with SR it was the most important thing in getting me sober.

Since you asked for advice, I'll give it to you....

Take this quiz:

Do you want to lose your wife?
Do you want to lose your house, your job, your reputation?
Do you want to lose your integrity, your peace, your ___fillintheblank___

Would you LIKE to live fully?
Would you LIKE to have a deep and connected relationship with your wife?
Would you LIKE to feel good about yourself and be comfortable in your own integrity and truth?
Would you LIKE to be able to see the goodness even in the challenges?
Would you LIKE to be reliable and trustworthy and diligent and free?

If your own answers to these questions lead you to believe that you do NOT want the first list and you WOULD like the second list - then:

Choose Sobriety right NOW
Go to a meeting
Get the Big Book
Get yourself a good therapist
Support your CHOICE of sobriety with daily ACTION
Commit to that path and see where it leads you

:grouphug:

Welcome back Sunstorm :)

I would be great of all we needed were good intentions, but most of us need more than that. I needed to make better decisions, make changes, &find support and use it.

I hope you find RR resonates with you and you can develop that into an action plan :)

D

Day 2. Woke up feeling great. I have to admit, learning about the Addictive Voice really helped. I recognized it coming on and I was able to push it away like it was a beast inside. Even this morning, I had a quick thought about how delicious a craft beer would taste while watching college football this weekend. I knew it was AV and tossed it aside quickly.
Thank you for the great advice, everyone! Hope everyone has a great day!

Awesome. Welcome to day 2. The more you practice listening for, identifying and disassociating with the AV the better it gets. I had an instance this weekend where it popped up, even though it comes around much much less these days, and I literally laughed to myself at it. Screw that pos. No way.

Hope you have found the wonderfulness of waking sober! Keep that in mind as you go through your day.

But BEWARE: expect that your AV will get sneaky with you, it's a cleaver devil.

Feeling great on Day 2 - that's wonderful Sunstorm. :)