Magnolia17

That's it. Scared

I drink when I'm scared

Anna

I hope you can find something else to do to help calm you. Can you put on some music you love, or go for a walk? Can you call someone to talk about what you're scared about?

least

I hope you don't give in and drink.

AnvilheadII

what else could you do with your feelings?

Magnolia17

I've suffered from separation anxiety/abandonment issues my whole life. I never had help.

When I got married my ex husband, a functional every day drinker, always had wine in the house.

I learned to cope with my fears the wrong way. I just wanted to feel "normal".

I am a good person. I can't do this alone.

I live alone now. With my dogs

Death would be better. I dont want to die but I miss my family

They abandoned me before I ever took a drink

I can't fix myself

AnvilheadII

you do have support here.....i realize we are not family and we are not there with you to give you a hug, but we ARE here, and we DO care.

Choicy

I haven't used in 55 days.
I'm still scared.
But it's better than wondering what the ef I just did yesterday? That's sickening.
You are not alone.
You are in the right place.
Keep coming back,
Magnolia

entropy1964

I relate. You aren't alone. You can always find fellowship in AA or other f2f recovery groups. It doesn't have to totally be your 'thing'. But you never have to be alone unless you want to be.

And we are always here

Magnolia17

Thank you. I just can't stand it anymore. I can't stand being alone anymore.

I had problems but I wasn't a drinker.

The alcohol took the pain and washed it away.

I tried to kill myself 10 years ago so I could just be at peace at home with my dogs.

I'm still here.

Why. I just want some peace

Magnolia17

Thank you. Please you guys don't leave me. I'm sorry im scared all the time

DontRemember

Rehab perhaps?

Magnolia17

First of all I've been, but it was court ordered for my ex and myself after a domestic violence incident the lawyers pled out.

I was NOT ready. Pointless trying to force things on people.

Now I might welcome the break and assistance, but no can do. I have my dogs and I'm hoping that if I'm open and honest here I may pull through.

If not, at least I know I had you folks here

Thank you all

Anna

Magnolia, you have a safe place here and we are family here. You are not alone. We do understand how hard this is.

Since you can't do inpatient rehab, might you be able to do out-patient rehab so you could care for your dogs?

We're here for you.

Magnolia17

Thank you so much. I'll definitely look into out patient in the morning.

Thank you for being here for me.

Funny how such a little thing like a stranger telling you you're not alone can make or break me.

yinzer

(( Magnolia))

Hugs to you.
I wish I had dogs, but travel for my job so I can’t.

Magnolia17

Hugs back . I'm stopping my insanity so I can take care of them. I have to stop or I will make them miserable and lose them

PhoenixJ

Heya Mags- I cannot fix you, any more than youan fix me- but Ican share the path with you, as many others do at SR. You are not alone- although I understand that feeling extremely well, especially the isolating and the booze. Have you thought of going to a meeting? AA/ SMART? You do not have to share, just sit at the back and listen. I go to meetings a lot of the time just to be around humans.
Support to you.

Dee74

I drank when I was scared to but this communtity gacve me the courage to go on, sober, Post as much as you need to Magnolia.

Have you considered joining the Class of August support thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-three.html

All you have to do to join is post

D

Magnolia17

Thanks very much. It helps to know I am not alone.

I'll definitely look into meetings for both when I'm finished detoxing. I'm doing it at home. I was absolutely out of my mind. Still am, but I'm not AS bad.

I was dumped by an AA woman who came and took me to a meeting.

I was not well. It was very kind of her and I'm grateful but the next day when I went into full blown withdrawal (think hearing noises, seeing things, insanity), she didn't understand I couldn't go to a meeting until I was coherent.

In a perfect world I would have been in a hospital.

She said I "wasn't dealing with life on life's terms" and basically dumped me. I was too Ill to care.

However I will try again.

Thanks for your support

Hevyn

Magnolia, I join the others in assuring you that you are never alone. When I first found SR I had no one to confide in about what I was going through. Coming here took away a lot of my anxiety & loneliness. Knowing others understood meant the world to me. I was instantly calmer and felt less isolated. I'm so glad you're here.