dearsobriety

tonight my husband and I had a minor argument. It was a misunderstanding and an overly sensitive reaction on my part. I've been rather stressed lately... I am a stepmother to his 5 year old twin boys and this summer I have taken over the stay at home mom role, full time... Minus the nights they go to their mothers. Nonetheless, I have them for more time than either parent combined. My husband works long hours/6 days a week so I don't have to and can stay and take care of the kids. While I appreciate his sacrifice of working so hard financially, I am pretty overwhelmed. I take care of everything.... Bills, shopping, taking care of the household, the pets, and now the kids. Their mother has taken advantage of me and treats me as a round the clock unpaid nanny at her disposal. If I need a day off for a doctors appointment (which I follow up with frequently to stay on top of my health) I am supposed to pay HER money for said day. So, this leaves me pretty much being the sole disciplinarian to these children as I am the one with them 90% of the day. It frustrates me because they do not listen to me... They are in a very difficult phase right now and I don't want to be the "evil stepmother". I'm just trying to teach them the basics... Manners, right from wrong, etc. because who else will right now? I find it a little unfair that responsibility falls on me. I understand I am a parent as well but biologically they aren't my children so I feel like it is not my place to have to be enforcing all of the rules all the time. I have spoken to my husband about this and he understands my frustration and steps in when he is home. I'm working on setting boundaries with their mother on not taking me for granted and learning to say "no" sometimes even though it's hard. It took us a long time to establish the great relationship we have now and I don't want to ruin it. Anyways, long story short... I am STRESSED out. My hair has started falling out which happens when I'm overly stressed. I am beyond emotional and these feelings are new to me again, dealing with them sober. However, tonight when my husband and I had our minor argument. I just removed myself from the room as I was about to cry and went and sat with our cat for a while until he came to talk to me and we patched things up. After we cleared the air, I sat here and realized that my first thought when we started fighting was just to go sit and cry it out and NOT go grab a bottle of vodka and drink... Which is what I would've done in the past anytime I felt the least bit of stress. The thought of drinking never even crossed my mind until after when I realized I HADN'T thought about drinking. So all things aside... I feel like that is a small victory and a true sign of progress! I am 128 days sober and plan on many many more sober days ahead!

Helianthus

That's not a little victory that's a massive one! You need to give yourself a pat on the back, 128 days is brilliant

Snowydelrico

A proud moment that one.
Very well handled.
You ar doing brilliantly.
Your cat for comfort is the right answer

Dee74

I'm really glad you stayed sober dearsobriety - I hope you can work out the parenting issues

D

Ayers

Oh that is a HUGE victory.

Well done !!! And how great are our pets when they just know we need them to just sit with us awhile ?

Verdantia

Wonderful job, dearsobriety, and that seems like a big victory to me! 128 days is awesome, and I wish you many, many, many more.

Anna

That's a great victory and step forward. I hope that the parenting issues become more manageable for you.