Need Support
 

So my anxiety has been off the chain the last few days, and today it has been crushing. Usually it gets better through the day. Not today. All I can think about is a drink.

Spoke with my sponsor and it helped for about an hour.

And to boot, my wife took my daughter out of town for a birthday party and won’t be back until Sunday. So i’ll Be alone. I am hoping my other daughters can come over, and keep me in check.

So I thought i’d Come here and ask for some words of support. And I am not having “waves of cravings.” I have some anti-anxiety meds but don’t want to go there.

Advice? And the meetings in my area are over. I have beeen at work all day.

Thanks in advance.

You might check on some online meetings, and there is always the chat room here that can get rather lively sometimes.

Weekends alone were my "free pass" drinking times also, I spent a lot of time here and avoided anything I associated drinking with, which truthfully was almost anything,, sigh,,,. I never trusted myself to leave the house so I got a lot of reading done and also went on a purge of throwing unused stuff away, which caused a few marital disagreements but that is a whole different thread,,,

Badge

When I get overly anxious I find that some physical activity can be helpful, to release some of that nervous energy. Can you do some gardening or go for a run or something like that? Maybe it will give you at least a little relief.

Sending you lots of support and strength!

Good on you for coming here to post Horn95!

And good grief do I relate to the temptation of a weekend alone. But you’re being proactive against that ole AV so you’re gonna get through. If you’ve got the stuff to make a huge protein smoothie you may give that a try. It was my ‘go to’ many a time.

Stick around here and soak up the SR support and encouragement. :)

Thanks y’all.

Isn't that what anti-anxiety meds are for? Crushing anxiety? You have your reasons for not...but your addiction is pushing you to drink. Do you want to go there?

I'd go with the anti anxiety meds. Better than drinking.

Are the anti-anxiety meds perescribed Horn? If so they are there for instances like this. But there are a lot of other ways to get through an anxious time too, lots of good suggestions already. I always try and remind myself that all anxiety and even panic passes - every time.

If you have meds for such instances, maybe it would be a good time to use them. If the alternative is to drink, that's not a great choice.

My suggestion would be to get out of the house and go for a long walk. :)

Done. I took some Librium. Should take the edge off. And my daughters are coming over. 👍😊

I think you made an good and informed choice Horn.
Recovery's not meant to be miserable.

D

As someone that has used both alcohol and benzodiazepines interchangeably over the years to self regulate, you are running the risk of just switching addictions/dependencies.

What has gotten me in the horrendous condition I'm in now is the Ativan wasnt working anymore. I took another. Hmmm... still not working and I was suffering. And I thought a drink wouldn't hurt. Hadn't even thought about drinking in 9 months.

It was very bizarre. Just a cautionary tale

Wow, so many people suggesting a benzodiazepine. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself

Hi Horn,
sorry to hear you are in a rough spot. I see yoy talked to your sponsor and it helped ofr an hour. That's interesting. I am assuming this is an AA sponsor and you have undertaken to carry out the 12 step program of action. The basic premise of that is that no human power,which includes your sponsor, can keep you sober, so I am not surprised your talk had only a temporary benefit.

There seem to be two ways of dealing with alcoholism. Treat the cause would be one. In your position my sponsor would have had me out working with others. That is the most effective strategy AA has for how you have been feeling. That would be in conjunction with working the steps. It took me three months to get into step 9, and big things happened. The cause was treated, the problem went away.

Option two is to treat the symptoms. Discomfort, anxiety etc can be symtoms of the cause being untreated. The way I used to treat the symptoms was to drink. Get that sense of ease and comfort. When the drink was not available, due to a personal reclutance to take other mind altering chemicals, I just got more and more miserable until I drank again. Eventually I found there was no escape from the misery drunk or sober, and that was when I became willing to treat the cause.

Let me try another analogy. I am lying in bed with a broken leg. It is very painful. I know the long term solution is to have a doctor set the leg and put it in plaster so it can heal, but that looks even more painful, so instead of treating the problem, I elect to treat the symptom and swallow some pain killers.

The next day the problem is still there. Still have the broken leg, still unable to function, still frightened of the pain of treatment, so I will take the edge off with some more painkillers. And the next day, still no closer to a solution. It is never going to get better until I am willing to accept the pain that goes with the treatment, I may even die from complications.

Horn, just saw this. Know it's the next day and whatnot. Hope you got a meal in as well. That always helped me with the urges. Hope you're doing well. Hang in there! Sending hugs!

I just got out of a meds controversy thread - I don't want another one :)

I think what you're reading Magnolia is people endorsing the idea of seeing a Dr and trusting professional judgement; and endorsing the use of prescribed meds over self medicating with drinking.

I understand your concerns and I'm sorry for your history - your concerns are valid - but all you and I know is whats Horns shared in his posts - none of us were privy with the conversations he might have with his Dr. :)

D

Hey Horn.

I remember the horrible anxiety well. I was taught some simple breathing and mindfulness techniques to use when one came along to get me breathing and thinking again. Happy to shared that's a tool you'd like to add to your box.

BB

Sorry Dee:). I always get confused with stuff like like that because everyone seems to have a different opinion.

My anxiety meds were prescribed. For some reason starting in late June, what I call my decent into hell, one wasn't working. I really had a horrific relapse and I will NEVER mix alcohol and benzodiazepines again.

I'm hoping to never need either.

No problem Magnolia - I hope things get better for you :)

D

Sounds familiar - I would avoid taking my anti anxiety meds as I knew I couldn't drink once I'd taken them. Is this possibly whats happening? Just a thought, but I personally would take the meds or get some serious exercise ;)

How's the IOP plan looking? Starting this week?