daredevil

After I received positive results from blood work (at the time I was age 5 months) I subsequently drank in the ensuing weeks. It is a double edged sword.

I don't regret it but I certainly wouldn't recommend it if you want to maintain sobriety.

zoobadger

[QUOTE=Baker123;6993320]I......One thing that stuck with me from the August thread is that those people who drink normally aren’t really having that much fun, at least not every time.......

We alcoholics tend to forget that people who drink normally don't NEED to drink. Nor is it necessary for them to have fun.

A good example: a few months ago when I was actively drinking I went to a new restaurant with some friends. When we arrived I was alarmed to discover they didn't have a liquor license and only served soft drinks.

My friends were fine with that; it was about the food and camaraderie for them. Of course, I had to hustle down the block to a liquor store and buy three bottles of wine for the table. Which wasn't enough. Because it never is.

Aliceiw

Hey Sobersol --

Great job staying strong!

I know it is such a challenge to find fun activities -- particularly after sports -- that don't involve drinking. I have a relative in college who does not drink and it's very hard for him to find company as life social seems to revolve around drinking. He does it though, so it's possible. I like what bexxed said about establishing yourself as the person who doesn't drink. I hope you do that, and I hope you are able to face down the challenges of social life in the future.

Baker123

[QUOTE=zoobadger;6993340] I agree. Whether or not the examples I have are of alcoholics, it mostly characterized my friends in grad school and a lot of my friends now. Things certainly do tend to revolve around alcohol for a lot of people I know who would never be considered as having an issue. Some of them have been managing that for decades (I know some couples in their 70s) and will never hit a low or reach an incentive stop, but they drink over what is considered a safe limit. And, they obviously have to carry some worry over that or they wouldn't take milk thistle. For me, I won't stop at 4-5 like they can and do. So, it can be a bit of a blessing to take the ambiguity out of am I an alcoholic/am I not an alcoholic, because if I could stop at 4-5, I probably would, even though it's still considered unsafe. I'm just trying to find my long-term resolve in all this. Bottom line, I know I can't drink and I am trying to learn how to embrace that and be thankful that there is no ambiguity there with me.

MLD51

Bexxed said:

"My new code of conduct is that if it’s weird to not be drinking here, it’s weird that I’m here. "

I am going to remember this - it's excellent. I have left several events early or just skipped them over the past few years because I realized the focus was likely to be drinking. I can stand to be at things like weddings for only so long before the booze really gets flowing and people are starting to get impaired. That's when it starts to feel weird to be there. So I leave. It's not that I think I'll drink, it's more that I feel like I don't belong there, and it gets boring and irritating.

Free2bme888

I agree with others. Review your old posts, squash the urge. It goes away.

There’s also a thread here somewhere “what I don’t miss while I was drinking”. Powerful stuff there.

Best to you and glad you posted.

Dee74

This may be an eyeroll post but I've never had as much fun as I'm having now. It took me a while to build a sober life I loved, and it took me a while to be around others who might be drinking and feel no pangs of regret but...it was worth the wait.

I think a lot of us new to recovery think we have two choices - go out and do the things we used to in the same old places..or stay home and do nothing.

That's just not true.

In between point A and Point B there are thousands of possibilities

It might be hard to date - but whats the point of not being the authentic non drinking you?

If someones more interested in drinking than you, the prospects aren't that great...

You can't change your ideas of fun if you doing or wanting to do the same things you always did.
D

axeman5971

I realized at some point that it was what was going on around the drinking that was the fun part, really. Music, friends, cookouts, etc. Everything stayed fun without drinking and nobody cared that I wasn’t drinking. If I ever was to encounter someone who did care that i wasn’t drinking, either they or I didn’t stay around very long!