| XtinaM82 | 08-22-2018 05:37 PM |
1 year Sober
Tomorrow is 1 year since my last drink. August 23 is my sobriety date since I celebrate knowing that day when I took my last drink that day, it was going to be the last I was going to have. I had 2 beers total that day knowing that was it. I hit a personal rock bottom last year, my marriage ended in divorce, I fell down a flight of stairs in a black out and tore my rotator cuff in my right shoulder. I have 1 DUI on my record and tons of other bad experiences due to alcohol, all by the age of 35. This is what I have learned in 1 year sober:
1.) Alcohol and drugs is a symptom of greater issues. My main issue is depression and anxiety. I drank for that instant gratification and high alcohol gave me but it always back fired. My depression and anxiety the next day was unbearable at times. I can now face my depression in a healthier way.
2.) My demons know how to swim. Drinking away my pain, stress and sorrows only made my demons swim to the top. Getting sober I faced my inner most issues. And you know what? I am still ok!
3.) Dealing with life sober is actually way easier than drunk everyday. I have a clear mind, even on my worst days, since I don't have alcohol 24/7 pumping through my bloodstream. Facing reality and day to day struggles is still tough for me, but you know what? I am sober, healthy and safe.
4.) I love me. I have made some terrible mistakes in my past, one in particular I will always regret ( hurting my now ex husband so bad) but it all made me who I am today. The old me had terrible coping skills and did not know better. I live every day today being a better person than I was yesterday.
5.) You own your recovery. Whatever path you take, as long as your recovery is your #1, own it. One day at a time. Whether it is AA or whatever, you will find what works for you the best in keeping you sober and growing as an individual.
6.) I lost "friends". Bar buddies. As I grew, I had to change people, places and things. I stopped comparing myself to others "well, everyone drinks". No not everyone drinks and some people can go out and drink and be responsible. You know what? I can not. I lost the privilege a long time ago to drink like a normal drinker. I have an addiction to alcohol and bad things happen when I drink and I lose all control. I now love my iced coffee, sparkling waters and iced tea.
7.) In the last 3 years of my drinking, I could not make it 24 hours sober. My instant sobriety was truly a miracle, God, and now I am 1 year completely sober. | 