Hawking22

Good morning SR fam,

I received a disheartening notice this morning that in a nut shell is punishing me financially and professionally for blowing the whistle on myself and putting the bottle down.

I'm a little upset by it, but am not going to let it distract me from my other blessings. I've just been sitting in the irony that I came forward and made a choice to stop, admitting I needed help officially to myself and the world and am being vilified consequently. I know the stigma that comes with this disease and I'm not without amends to make for living like a piece of sh*t for so long.

Someone gave me a silly analogy but I've been clinging to it, and hoping it's appropriate. "When you're in a video game, and you come across more and more bad guys, you know you're going the right way"....I know I made the right choice. I could still be showing up to work drunk, lying to others, treating them as less than, but I'm not. I'm honest with myself and others, and even if people can't accept that, I still believe I made the right choice. I'm hoping that these doors closing is lighting up the right path for me to take.

#49days

daredevil

Congrats on 49 days Hawking22.

Sorry to hear that you're struggling, and hopefully good news is on the horizon.

I liked the video game analogy very much. I remember playing "Rocky" on Sega Genesis when I was younger; in order to get to Drago, you had to get through Apollo & Mr. T, and the better I got, the harder it got.

lessgravity

Solid post Hawk. It's not easy, but the better life isn't going to be easily achieved. Glad to hear you took the news with the proper, tough and self-preserving outlook you did.

gypsytears

I like your positivity Hawking. It took a lot of courage to tell on yourself and although the outcome regarding the job is unfortunate, at least you're awake to see the light on the other side of that closing door. Good work on your 59 days .

Branches

OUCH. I'm sorry this happened. Congratulations on keeping your sobriety and kudos to you being honest when you could have remained "undercover." This door may be shut but I believe there's a window opening somewhere for you.

Dee74

I love your positivity too Hawking - you'll get through this

D

Gerard52

Hawking 22 sorry about the kick back. For these very reasons I would never mention any alcohol issues to anybody including medical service professionals.

Hawking22

Thank you all so much for your support. You guys rock. Tough times ahead but I'm not going to keep my head down. Tough or not, I'm not going to drink.

#50days