Serenity18

Sometimes I just want the world to stop, I'm in a daze that I can't overcome. My world is going along as I watch, waiting, anticipating me to come in.. I'm already in over my head and I'm drowning in my own guilt. I'm exhausted, defeated and... just done.. I make excuses, hide my shame but I feel like it's out in the open. I can't do this anymore

BreezyFe

Becoming aware of the link between alcohol and problems in your life just might mean that you're beginning to be ready to just stop. Believe and know that life would be better with sobriety in it. No one can change yesterday so there is no need to dwell on it. You have support here and be proud that you have reached out.

Be slow to life and introduce yourself and it'll introduce itself to you.

brighterday1234

The place you describe is the perfect place to put recovery from alcoholism/addiction into action.

lessgravity

I know the eye of the storm in which you are spinning - like many here, I was there myself. The answer to stepping out of that pain and into the sunshine is truly within your reach, in fact it's all up to you. Sobriety will relieve you of all that suffering.

Good for you for posting. Let's just not drink!

Be123

There are adverts up all along the coast in England from the coastguard. If you fall in to cold water don’t fight or try to swim swim - float. Best way to survive apparently

gypsytears

Do you have a plan?

ChloeRose63

You can't do it alone anymore.
That is why we are here to offer you support.
Please keep posting.

Serenity18

I don't have a plan anymore. I
just feel lost and alone

ChloeRose63

Then the first plan of action is to keep reaching out to people like us who are in the same boat and experience the same feelings that you do.
Once I starting knowing that I am in the company of many others that have or are going through similiar situations it was a relief. I could open myself up and express myself. There is no judgement here. What is given to you is love, support and understanding. Pretty much it is a life preserver so you won't be drowning! Hang on!

NerfThis

What happened to the urgent care centre visit you had planned today during your break? (mentioned in your other thread)

Anna

You need to take a leap of faith and step out of the cycle of alcoholism. You can do this. If you're concerned about withdrawals, talk to your dr. We're here for you.

Serenity18

I didn't go to urgent care, I slept then drank more when I got up. I have to stop. I have to go into the office tomorrow and I know I'm going to feel like crap

daredevil

Serenity18: as I mentioned in your other thread, make sure you get to work sober, and do not under any circumstances drink while you’re at the office. Nothing is worth losing your job over, especially drinking.

I’d stop drinking, start drinking water, sleep at a reasonable hour as best I could, go to work, put in my best effort given the circumstance, and stop by an urgent care either during lunch or after work tomorrow. What I wouldn’t do is drink more until I pass out, which, from experience, I’ve done (and woke up all the worse when I did).

As for the feelings of isolation and being lost, you can address those later.

mns1

Serenity whatever horrible things you are feeling drinking will only make it worse. You can stop now and things will slowly but surely start to get better. Like Anna said take a leap of faith pour out what you have, stay on here and post and interact, and try to relax.

We have your back 100% you can do this

wpainterw

In front of our house is a dogwood tree which I remember planting years ago. As the seasons passed I saw that the tree was not doing so well. Its leaves began to wilt. If it had been a person it would seem to have a clinical depression.
I decided to consult a tree expert, a tree doctor. After examining the tree, noting the decline in its vital signs, he said that it was “root bound”. At times a tree’s roots do not grow out horizontally but twine around the tree trunk, slowly strangling it. Roots can strangle powerfully as they slowly strangle the ancient temples of Cambodia’s Angkor Wat. There is no cure, he said. The tree was suicidal, doomed, it’s own worst enemy.
Yet somehow I believed in the tree. It had reached a moment of truth, reached its bottom.
Suddenly, in early Spring, the old tree seemed to begin its recovery, renewing its former luster, its vigor gradually restored. Now it blossoms out in one great shout of triumph, giving thanks to some higher power that may have urged it on.
You are that tree. Stay with us. We shall help you!

Every good wish.

W.

Serenity18

Thank you! All of you!! I think after work I'll drive myself to an urgent care. My boyfriend will be home so the kids will have him here.

NerfThis

Change 'I think' to 'I will' and you're on the right path to recovery

Ayers

Serenity , I only joined today , so glad I did ! It hits home when you describe how you feel > you are not alone ! I have felt that way very often , as recent as today.
I am holding you in my thoughts and hope your day goes well. Please DO go to the urgent care -- and post to let know how u r. Wish we had an Urgent care here - is it like an EC (Emergency care at a hospital )

Please know that you are not alone

Serenity18

Urgent care is like an emergency room kind of. It's a place you can go for minor ailments. I'm hoping that they can prescribe me something to help the withdraws that I know are coming.

PhoenixJ

my prayers and support to you