Where did you go?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Where did you go?
I do not think I am the only one here who does this.
I read post's, reply and start to feel for the poster.
Then,
The poster goes MIA
I wonder what happened to them
Are they OK?
Will they be back?
I hope they come back
I hope they listen and take advice (since most come back with a relapse story)
And the cycle repeats.
If you are one of the people who has left and come back a time later, or you are too ashamed to admit your relapse, or too ashamed to come back here......
I just want YOU to know.
If you leave this site, people will think about you. You are IMPORTANT! To yourself and all of us here.
To those that come back with great recovery stories and have years under your belt in between communicating here.
THANK YOU
for checking in, sharing what you have gone through and where you are today!
Have a blessed Tuesday!
-DC
I read post's, reply and start to feel for the poster.
Then,
The poster goes MIA
I wonder what happened to them
Are they OK?
Will they be back?
I hope they come back
I hope they listen and take advice (since most come back with a relapse story)
And the cycle repeats.
If you are one of the people who has left and come back a time later, or you are too ashamed to admit your relapse, or too ashamed to come back here......
I just want YOU to know.
If you leave this site, people will think about you. You are IMPORTANT! To yourself and all of us here.
To those that come back with great recovery stories and have years under your belt in between communicating here.
THANK YOU
for checking in, sharing what you have gone through and where you are today!
Have a blessed Tuesday!
-DC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Fabulous post. This happens to me very often. There are even people who posted years ago that I still think about and wonder if they are ok.
I hope people understand that people truly, truly care.
On the other hand, I can also relate to the humiliation, anxiety and depression that often leads to backing away from this support as well as others.
We are here for you when you are ready to come back though.
I hope people understand that people truly, truly care.
On the other hand, I can also relate to the humiliation, anxiety and depression that often leads to backing away from this support as well as others.
We are here for you when you are ready to come back though.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I sometimes feel badly about this....
in my fifth year of sobriety, I find my life is richly-filled with.... a lot. I have a greater focus on others, on my commitments, on living my life and on seeking balance than I once did. I'm also well-established in my sobriety and so, unfortunately for my participation in this community, I often become focused on life and don't make time to get to SR for much more than some quick reading or a short post or reply.
Remember that sometimes - when posters go MIA, it's because they've found themselves living a sober life!
in my fifth year of sobriety, I find my life is richly-filled with.... a lot. I have a greater focus on others, on my commitments, on living my life and on seeking balance than I once did. I'm also well-established in my sobriety and so, unfortunately for my participation in this community, I often become focused on life and don't make time to get to SR for much more than some quick reading or a short post or reply.
Remember that sometimes - when posters go MIA, it's because they've found themselves living a sober life!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
I sometimes feel badly about this....
in my fifth year of sobriety, I find my life is richly-filled with.... a lot. I have a greater focus on others, on my commitments, on living my life and on seeking balance than I once did. I'm also well-established in my sobriety and so, unfortunately for my participation in this community, I often become focused on life and don't make time to get to SR for much more than some quick reading or a short post or reply.
Remember that sometimes - when posters go MIA, it's because they've found themselves living a sober life!
in my fifth year of sobriety, I find my life is richly-filled with.... a lot. I have a greater focus on others, on my commitments, on living my life and on seeking balance than I once did. I'm also well-established in my sobriety and so, unfortunately for my participation in this community, I often become focused on life and don't make time to get to SR for much more than some quick reading or a short post or reply.
Remember that sometimes - when posters go MIA, it's because they've found themselves living a sober life!
That is so fantastic!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Anna
I always remember the words of our beloved member, CarolD. She said, 'People come, and people go, and bless them all on their journey'. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Fabulous post. This happens to me very often. There are even people who posted years ago that I still think about and wonder if they are ok.
I hope people understand that people truly, truly care.
On the other hand, I can also relate to the humiliation, anxiety and depression that often leads to backing away from this support as well as others.
We are here for you when you are ready to come back though.
I hope people understand that people truly, truly care.
On the other hand, I can also relate to the humiliation, anxiety and depression that often leads to backing away from this support as well as others.
We are here for you when you are ready to come back though.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Dream Catcher this post is so thoughtful. Shows real compassion and support. I cannot discuss others but myself ... i am here every day in good and bad . I take advice on board . I m grateful for this site and i am here to support others as well and share . Thank you x D
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Since I joined here, when I have not been posting there has been a cocktail in my hand. Its just been the reality. I look at those who leave for awhile then come back to say they have still been sober the whole time with great admiration. Hope to be there someday.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
I also am guilty of disappearing for a while before showing up again. Like in FreeOwl's case it was just that I got busy living my sober life and tend to come back when I need the extra support. Which I do feel a bit bad about, that I am not giving back as much when I am doing well. But then I like to think that this is a support site, so it's what it's intended to be, to come here for support. And that during those other times I gave back, just to other people, the people in my "real" life. I think that's how it often goes, that we pass on the help we received to others and not return it to the person we received it from.
Anyway, it's a really nice post And an amazing community! I consider myself very lucky for having found it.
Anyway, it's a really nice post
And an amazing community! I consider myself very lucky for having found it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by Cuckoo
I came and am going again.....thanks dechemist.....I am totally useless
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Cuckoo
I came and am going again.....thanks dechemist.....I am totally useless
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Originally Posted by Cuckoo
I came and am going again.....thanks dechemist.....I am totally useless
It takes different things for different people to get to that point of acceptance that they need to stop drinking or using if they want change.
I was not sure I wanted to quit for ever when I got here either - this was despite me nearly killing myself.
But I stayed...and the community helped me turn my mind and my life arousd.
Originally Posted by JustTony
I am guilty of this.
Rightly or wrongly I will not post unless I am at least one day sober.
Rightly or wrongly I will not post unless I am at least one day sober.
I can't/won't post here til I'm sober.
I know people are embarrassed to admit relapse and they may even fear a smack down.
Some people fear them posting in active addiction will somehow negatively affect others.
If that was true SR would have died many years ago.
As noble as the sentiment is I can't help but feel it can be self defeating.
SR is a great place to be when you're struggling.
There's tons of support and good advice here - overwhelmingly people will just be glad to see you back and fighting here.
I used to see months go by before I saw a sober day.
If posting here can help short circuit that extended binge, i say hang the fear, hang the embarrassment - post - have at it
Thanks for the thread DC
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Thanks for this... I am not an active participant of this forum but I have come again and left again a few times this year because I have had several instances of abstaining from alcohol followed by relapse, etc.
I came here today to say "I am back" so I really feel comforted and happy reading this right off the bat.
I came here today to say "I am back" so I really feel comforted and happy reading this right off the bat.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Really glad to see this post. Thank you for bringing it up. I think about this topic often.
I try to stay positive, but I'm not naive. And I know from my own experience that there's often a mountain of **** a mile high piled on us in those early days that make this sobriety thing so difficult. It corrodes us in every direction - self esteem, financial, health, relationships. Pile on that the pervasiveness and sensationalized view of booze in our culture and, well, no wonder it's so difficult to get and stay clean.
I find I have to distance myself sometimes. And I also find I am careful at times about how much I engage. I'll admit, some threads I don't even open or visit.
The worst for me are the ones I see that get to day 7 ish and have and are saying all the right things and then *poof.* It guts me.
I just wish I had better means to help people see what kind of a lie this whole thing about booze is. Giving it up isn't a funeral - it's cause for celebration. It's victory not defeat. There is absolutely nothing there to miss.
And I wish I could help people see that the mental triggers that cause us to collapse in our effort is usually just a cluttered state of mind or lack of clarity or a feeling that making it as much of a priority as it needs to be is somehow 'trying to hard' or some other bs that gets implied to use by so many things around us.
Yea. Good topic. Something I think about a lot.
-B
I try to stay positive, but I'm not naive. And I know from my own experience that there's often a mountain of **** a mile high piled on us in those early days that make this sobriety thing so difficult. It corrodes us in every direction - self esteem, financial, health, relationships. Pile on that the pervasiveness and sensationalized view of booze in our culture and, well, no wonder it's so difficult to get and stay clean.
I find I have to distance myself sometimes. And I also find I am careful at times about how much I engage. I'll admit, some threads I don't even open or visit.
The worst for me are the ones I see that get to day 7 ish and have and are saying all the right things and then *poof.* It guts me.
I just wish I had better means to help people see what kind of a lie this whole thing about booze is. Giving it up isn't a funeral - it's cause for celebration. It's victory not defeat. There is absolutely nothing there to miss.
And I wish I could help people see that the mental triggers that cause us to collapse in our effort is usually just a cluttered state of mind or lack of clarity or a feeling that making it as much of a priority as it needs to be is somehow 'trying to hard' or some other bs that gets implied to use by so many things around us.
Yea. Good topic. Something I think about a lot.
-B
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