Relapse prevention
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Relapse prevention
Hello kind people so after day slipt i started from day one and first 24 hours is done and dusted. I m terriefied of relapse . I m new to recovery one factor , but main factor life circumstances huge stressors. I do not want to relapse or slip ... i do not want to escape ... i do not want to drink this for sure. What i m doing ... first i focus on day and hour to stay mindful , second as i m vulnerable i am trying not to analyse solution to stressors ...it is big unknown - when i start thinking about future and how i survive i distract myself in order not to build up anxiety, i pray. I repeat affirmation as long as alcohol free all will be good. I could use hobbies but money is limitation so instead i try to exercise and walk, smile to people in the street , to neighbours , talk to strangers. I try to eat healthy as much as i can. In plan attend church on wed AA mtg in my area i feel safe. I was also thinking if i get anxious or caught up in trapped emotion or fear i post here as soon as to get some support. Any other ideas . I will follow . I feel isolated and lonely therefore i even walk through shopping mail to talk to people to smile . Thank you. I cannot afford another slip physically, emotionally and spiritually . Even one day slip left me devastated and zero self respect so any ideas worked for you at beginning please share. Thank you xD
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi allishope 
there are some great ideas about dealing with cravings here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
and some great ideas on making a recovery action plan here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
If there's anything you need help with, just post here - that what we're here for
Sometimes a plan as simple as committing to post here before you drink can change things around
D
there are some great ideas about dealing with cravings here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
and some great ideas on making a recovery action plan here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
If there's anything you need help with, just post here - that what we're here for
Sometimes a plan as simple as committing to post here before you drink can change things around
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
we absolutely choose to not drink again NO MATTER WHAT.
no excuses, done is done. not an option.
and we recommit to that choice on a daily basis.
just for today, i will not drink.
no matter what.
and we do whatever it takes to live that choice.
no excuses, done is done. not an option.
and we recommit to that choice on a daily basis.
just for today, i will not drink.
no matter what.
and we do whatever it takes to live that choice.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
That is a serious question and the answer is going to take a little work on your part to identify where you are at in terms of the power of choice over whether you will drink or not. The AA manual of instruction states "Whether you can recover on a non-spiritual basis will depend on the extent to which you have already lost the power to choose whether you will drink or not."
It also has three basic ideas, called the abc s about which we must be convinced in order to begin the AA recovery process. They are:
a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
b) That probably no human power could releive our alcoholism
c) That God could and would if he were sought.
Not every one reaches that point. Many can just not drink and that's all there is to it. There is also a large number that believe they can or will be able to do that in spite of evidence piling up to the contrary. They will one day become convinced, or die trying to do it their way as 70% of my rehab group did.
I am an alcoholic of the type that lost the power of choice in drink. I drank, no matter what. For me "relapse prevention" is a total oxymoron. I could not keep myself sober no matter how great the wish, desire , or effort.
Alcoholism is pretty much an abnormal reaction to alcohol. The bodily component is that when alcohol gets into my system, a craving so powerful develops that I end up drinking way more than I intended. I lose control of the amount. But if that was all it is, all I would have to do is not take the first drink, simple.
Except that the second component is a mind that will eventually put another first drink in my hand. It was incapable at certain times, of bringing into my consciousness with sufficient force the many good reasons why I should not drink. This could happen less than an hour after facing the consequences of the last disaster. My scary stories and experiences did not keep me sober.
So I have a mind that convinces me it is ok to drink, and a body that will eventually kill me if I continue to do it.
A professor of Psychiatry and expert in this field recently stated the same thing as the AA book said so many years ago. "Once an alcoholic has progressed this far his only hope was some kind of conversion experience (AA calls it a spiritual experience) and AA are the experts at this" This was a man with 30 years experience in the field who initially set out to prove that AA didn't work. I feel you can always trust a scientist who finds what he wasn't looking for.
The only equivalent to relapse prevention for me has come through spiritual experience gained through working and continuing to work AAs 12 steps. That process has hooked me up to the Power to live successfully and satisfyingly without the need to drink, and it has worked for a very long time. Over 38 years.
If you think you might be like I was, then the answer to your question would be total immersion in AA. Sponsor, steps, and some regular meetings. Give it every effort for say three months, and see what happens. That suggestion was made to me and it came with a misery back guarantee if it three months I was not happy with the result. I never took them up on that guarantee. Three months of following some simple suggestions had changed everything. The drink problem was removed as promised.
It also has three basic ideas, called the abc s about which we must be convinced in order to begin the AA recovery process. They are:
a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
b) That probably no human power could releive our alcoholism
c) That God could and would if he were sought.
Not every one reaches that point. Many can just not drink and that's all there is to it. There is also a large number that believe they can or will be able to do that in spite of evidence piling up to the contrary. They will one day become convinced, or die trying to do it their way as 70% of my rehab group did.
I am an alcoholic of the type that lost the power of choice in drink. I drank, no matter what. For me "relapse prevention" is a total oxymoron. I could not keep myself sober no matter how great the wish, desire , or effort.
Alcoholism is pretty much an abnormal reaction to alcohol. The bodily component is that when alcohol gets into my system, a craving so powerful develops that I end up drinking way more than I intended. I lose control of the amount. But if that was all it is, all I would have to do is not take the first drink, simple.
Except that the second component is a mind that will eventually put another first drink in my hand. It was incapable at certain times, of bringing into my consciousness with sufficient force the many good reasons why I should not drink. This could happen less than an hour after facing the consequences of the last disaster. My scary stories and experiences did not keep me sober.
So I have a mind that convinces me it is ok to drink, and a body that will eventually kill me if I continue to do it.
A professor of Psychiatry and expert in this field recently stated the same thing as the AA book said so many years ago. "Once an alcoholic has progressed this far his only hope was some kind of conversion experience (AA calls it a spiritual experience) and AA are the experts at this" This was a man with 30 years experience in the field who initially set out to prove that AA didn't work. I feel you can always trust a scientist who finds what he wasn't looking for.
The only equivalent to relapse prevention for me has come through spiritual experience gained through working and continuing to work AAs 12 steps. That process has hooked me up to the Power to live successfully and satisfyingly without the need to drink, and it has worked for a very long time. Over 38 years.
If you think you might be like I was, then the answer to your question would be total immersion in AA. Sponsor, steps, and some regular meetings. Give it every effort for say three months, and see what happens. That suggestion was made to me and it came with a misery back guarantee if it three months I was not happy with the result. I never took them up on that guarantee. Three months of following some simple suggestions had changed everything. The drink problem was removed as promised.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Thanks for all sugestion ... i ll give it a proper read in the evening . Now another horrid appointment to welfare but i need to ask for advice . I m proactive in this matter. I need practical help to be able to survive . Focusing on recovery ... this is not forgotten. First thing in the morning i check forum and set up my mind on another alcohol free day x D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi, I'm glad you are here and posting.
Have you considered getting involved in some voluntary work at all? If you Google volunteering in yiur area you will likely find some opportunities come up. Or possibly ask at your church if they know of anything that needs doing. It's a great way to get and stay connected.
I'd also say, be mindful of the HALT triggers. Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired.
Plan around a voiding these as much as possible.
Daily gratitude lists are great for us in recovery. There is a phone app called Gratitude 365 which is good for that. Prayer is also a massive part of my and plenty of other folks recovery.
BB
Have you considered getting involved in some voluntary work at all? If you Google volunteering in yiur area you will likely find some opportunities come up. Or possibly ask at your church if they know of anything that needs doing. It's a great way to get and stay connected.
I'd also say, be mindful of the HALT triggers. Hungry. Angry. Lonely. Tired.
Plan around a voiding these as much as possible.
Daily gratitude lists are great for us in recovery. There is a phone app called Gratitude 365 which is good for that. Prayer is also a massive part of my and plenty of other folks recovery.
BB
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
You have mentioned that you are a foreigner. I am too, I live in Italy but am American. I know how exhausting it is to exist in a foreign country, speaking another language, living another culture, day in and day out. It can often feel very lonely even if you actually are interacting with people on a daily basis.
I get out of my house daily and everyone in my little village knows me and says hi to me and I often have the opportunity to chat with may people every day. But something about doing all this in my second language still leaves me feeling lonely sometimes.
Have you ever explored any expat groups in your area? You might find some people from your home country or if not, just some other people who are in a similar situation to you. There are often social activities planned and you might make a new friend.
I get out of my house daily and everyone in my little village knows me and says hi to me and I often have the opportunity to chat with may people every day. But something about doing all this in my second language still leaves me feeling lonely sometimes.
Have you ever explored any expat groups in your area? You might find some people from your home country or if not, just some other people who are in a similar situation to you. There are often social activities planned and you might make a new friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
[QUOTE=Meraviglioso;6990179]You have mentioned that you are a foreigner. I am too, I live in Italy but am American. I know how exhausting it is to exist in a foreign country, speaking another language, living another culture, day in and day out. It can often feel very lonely even if you actually are interacting with people on a daily basis.
I get out of my house daily and everyone in my little village knows me and says hi to me and I often have the opportunity to chat with may people every day. But something about doing all this in my second language still leaves me feeling lonely sometimes.
Have you ever explored any expat groups in your area? You might find some people from your home country or if not, just some other people who are in a similar situation to you. There are often social activities planned and you might make a new friend.[/QUOTE
Hi thanks for share x actually i integrated into Scottish culture to extend i once attended polish aa mtg and felt absolutaly alienaited ... nice people but different but felt no connection being around Scots over 12 years. So no it is not a barrier . Barrier is lack of family and even if i go to Poland i d feel the same lonely as my family was my husband family. Since split i respected no contact. Language is not a barrier i dream and think in English. As i mentioned being a deserted wife with no resources trying to learn the system ...in recovery... alone ... never been alone ... lack of safety ...grief loss ... but i dealt with safety and grief to some extend ...it took.me half a year but made progress. Finances ...how one can budget from zero ...always great at budgeting but you need smtg to budget from. So i m sitting here at job centre to be linked with welfare officer re pip... got letters from doctors to support and guess what... a nice folk came saying it was mistake and no app today ... while a worker who made it put it for 10 today in my book white and black... so need to be back thursday ...oh well i do ..
Such trivia is not going to upset me ... just waste of time ... thanks for writing to me ... big hugs xD
I get out of my house daily and everyone in my little village knows me and says hi to me and I often have the opportunity to chat with may people every day. But something about doing all this in my second language still leaves me feeling lonely sometimes.
Have you ever explored any expat groups in your area? You might find some people from your home country or if not, just some other people who are in a similar situation to you. There are often social activities planned and you might make a new friend.[/QUOTE
Hi thanks for share x actually i integrated into Scottish culture to extend i once attended polish aa mtg and felt absolutaly alienaited ... nice people but different but felt no connection being around Scots over 12 years. So no it is not a barrier . Barrier is lack of family and even if i go to Poland i d feel the same lonely as my family was my husband family. Since split i respected no contact. Language is not a barrier i dream and think in English. As i mentioned being a deserted wife with no resources trying to learn the system ...in recovery... alone ... never been alone ... lack of safety ...grief loss ... but i dealt with safety and grief to some extend ...it took.me half a year but made progress. Finances ...how one can budget from zero ...always great at budgeting but you need smtg to budget from. So i m sitting here at job centre to be linked with welfare officer re pip... got letters from doctors to support and guess what... a nice folk came saying it was mistake and no app today ... while a worker who made it put it for 10 today in my book white and black... so need to be back thursday ...oh well i do ..
Such trivia is not going to upset me ... just waste of time ... thanks for writing to me ... big hugs xD
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
I am using a free meditation app called Insight Timer.
It has all sorts of features, including a free how to meditate course, lots of guided meditations which are really helpful to manage stress, sleep, relax, be happy, and so on, as well as talks, and timed meditations you can create with your own background sounds, bells for beginning and ending, etc.
I am finding it really helpful to center myself when anxious and craving. I do a guided meditation (all sorts of time choices) or listen to a talk and the crave passes. In a way, it is like having a "time out" space to re-focus on sobriety.
There seems to be a community feature also but I haven't tried that.
Please have a look. We aren't supposed to post URL addresses here, but if you look under "Insight Timer" you'll find it.
You can do this--good job reaching out.
It has all sorts of features, including a free how to meditate course, lots of guided meditations which are really helpful to manage stress, sleep, relax, be happy, and so on, as well as talks, and timed meditations you can create with your own background sounds, bells for beginning and ending, etc.
I am finding it really helpful to center myself when anxious and craving. I do a guided meditation (all sorts of time choices) or listen to a talk and the crave passes. In a way, it is like having a "time out" space to re-focus on sobriety.
There seems to be a community feature also but I haven't tried that.
Please have a look. We aren't supposed to post URL addresses here, but if you look under "Insight Timer" you'll find it.
You can do this--good job reaching out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
I am using a free meditation app called Insight Timer.
It has all sorts of features, including a free how to meditate course, lots of guided meditations which are really helpful to manage stress, sleep, relax, be happy, and so on, as well as talks, and timed meditations you can create with your own background sounds, bells for beginning and ending, etc.
I am finding it really helpful to center myself when anxious and craving. I do a guided meditation (all sorts of time choices) or listen to a talk and the crave passes. In a way, it is like having a "time out" space to re-focus on sobriety.
There seems to be a community feature also but I haven't tried that.
Please have a look. We aren't supposed to post URL addresses here, but if you look under "Insight Timer" you'll find it.
You can do this--good job reaching out.
It has all sorts of features, including a free how to meditate course, lots of guided meditations which are really helpful to manage stress, sleep, relax, be happy, and so on, as well as talks, and timed meditations you can create with your own background sounds, bells for beginning and ending, etc.
I am finding it really helpful to center myself when anxious and craving. I do a guided meditation (all sorts of time choices) or listen to a talk and the crave passes. In a way, it is like having a "time out" space to re-focus on sobriety.
There seems to be a community feature also but I haven't tried that.
Please have a look. We aren't supposed to post URL addresses here, but if you look under "Insight Timer" you'll find it.
You can do this--good job reaching out.
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