How long did you wait to trust yourself around alcohol?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 67
How long did you wait to trust yourself around alcohol?
Just curious - how long did you wait to trust yourself to be around alcohol again in a social situation and not drink? I'm on day 11 now and I don't plan on putting myself in that position for at least a month or so (or longer if I feel the need to) but I'm just wondering what other people's experience with this was.
If I had a dime for every time I made a mistake, I would be sitting on a big pile of dimes.
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 22
Depends
I think it depends on how you are feeling. I went out Saturday night with friends. took flavored sticks to put in my water, everyone else was drinking and it didn't even look appealing to me. Now the last couple of days, I have been tired and crabby, been some emotional upset and such. I wouldn't want to be around people drinking. Because when things get a little bumpy or I am tired, angry, emotional, that is where I turned and I know I don't want to be around a bunch of alcohol at that time.
I just have a short time under my belt 10 days, been sober for months on end before, but that is my two cents, for what it is worth.
I just have a short time under my belt 10 days, been sober for months on end before, but that is my two cents, for what it is worth.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
One,
I craved ferociously for well into a year.
I didn't deny myself any activity. I went to every party and event....
I studied drinkers and non drinkers...
I learned so much that helped me get this far sober...
I know a tree falls where it leans though...so when i see folks drinking i have to be on guard and role the tape...
I have to remember why i quit....
I feel so amazing....but...feeling amazing is a trigger for an addict like me.
Addict for life.
Thanks.
I craved ferociously for well into a year.
I didn't deny myself any activity. I went to every party and event....
I studied drinkers and non drinkers...
I learned so much that helped me get this far sober...
I know a tree falls where it leans though...so when i see folks drinking i have to be on guard and role the tape...
I have to remember why i quit....
I feel so amazing....but...feeling amazing is a trigger for an addict like me.
Addict for life.
Thanks.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I trust myself to be around alcohol but I don’t intentionally put myself in situations where it would be a strong temptation. For example, I will eat at a restaurant that has a bar because I’m there for the food. But I don’t hang out at bars anymore. I’ll go to a wedding reception, but I won’t go to a bachelor party. I attended my 30 year class reunion, but not the after party at a local bar.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
When I got home from rehab I was advised to get all of the wine out of my house immediately, I had a fair amount left in my collection that I didn't drink on my final binge. It wasn't calling to me, so I didn't bother. There's still a lot left, I have it for guests and have given a lot of it away.
Socially I waited for about 90 days. I have a big group of friends who are all wine lovers, and I'm a certified somm, so our socialization often took the form of hanging out and tasting wine all night. However they were all extremely supportive of my sobriety, and visited me in rehab every weekend. The offered to do a sober party and I said I'd play it by ear, and would leave if I felt uncomfortable. It was fine. I didn't miss negotiating with the wine all night so I didn't get too buzzed or was unable to drive home. Nobody got too wasted. They told me they were kind of shocked that I had such a huge drinking problem, as I was always the responsible one who took 1-2 oz pours, limited those, and stopped well before I had to leave to drive home. WHat they didn't know is that i'd go home and pound a bottle or two and/or some vodka shots until I blacked out. I realized one ground rule. No open bottles of hard liquor in my sight. For at least 8 months I found that was a huge temptation and trigger, because I could take a quick swig when alone in the room and nobody would know, and I didn't want to be in that situation. I think I went to my first party there at about 90 days.
Bars were tough for the first 4 months or so, I didn't like to be in them. Something clicked though, when I worked through a strong trigger/craving in my group outpatient rehab. I had a safety net and was able to work through it. After that I couldn't care less about being in a bar. I was never a fan of socializing in gay bars, and I'm still not that into it. I tried going alone to meet people and found it wasn't really a conducive environment for this, so I haven't been back. I'd go hang with a group of friends though. Fortunately the gay world has changed so bars aren't such a central focus anymore.
I'm at the point where it really doesn't matter where I end up. I am no longer a drinker. Period.
Socially I waited for about 90 days. I have a big group of friends who are all wine lovers, and I'm a certified somm, so our socialization often took the form of hanging out and tasting wine all night. However they were all extremely supportive of my sobriety, and visited me in rehab every weekend. The offered to do a sober party and I said I'd play it by ear, and would leave if I felt uncomfortable. It was fine. I didn't miss negotiating with the wine all night so I didn't get too buzzed or was unable to drive home. Nobody got too wasted. They told me they were kind of shocked that I had such a huge drinking problem, as I was always the responsible one who took 1-2 oz pours, limited those, and stopped well before I had to leave to drive home. WHat they didn't know is that i'd go home and pound a bottle or two and/or some vodka shots until I blacked out. I realized one ground rule. No open bottles of hard liquor in my sight. For at least 8 months I found that was a huge temptation and trigger, because I could take a quick swig when alone in the room and nobody would know, and I didn't want to be in that situation. I think I went to my first party there at about 90 days.
Bars were tough for the first 4 months or so, I didn't like to be in them. Something clicked though, when I worked through a strong trigger/craving in my group outpatient rehab. I had a safety net and was able to work through it. After that I couldn't care less about being in a bar. I was never a fan of socializing in gay bars, and I'm still not that into it. I tried going alone to meet people and found it wasn't really a conducive environment for this, so I haven't been back. I'd go hang with a group of friends though. Fortunately the gay world has changed so bars aren't such a central focus anymore.
I'm at the point where it really doesn't matter where I end up. I am no longer a drinker. Period.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Not yet 😉
Depends who and where really...no way I’m going to my local or out with my brother whilst he drinks. No way, possibly never - we’ll see
Went to a short meeting about football in anorher pub on Saturday less than three weeks dry. Easy. Although I did begrudge the price of soft drinks!! What I like to drink is water with ice but I felt bad so bought a really expensive OJ and lemonade 😂😂
No rush for me!!
Depends who and where really...no way I’m going to my local or out with my brother whilst he drinks. No way, possibly never - we’ll see
Went to a short meeting about football in anorher pub on Saturday less than three weeks dry. Easy. Although I did begrudge the price of soft drinks!! What I like to drink is water with ice but I felt bad so bought a really expensive OJ and lemonade 😂😂
No rush for me!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
The way I look at it is, the only one stopping me from drinking, is me. My BF still drinks, he even drinks the same beer I used to drink, there's usually some in my fridge. Besides, alcohol is everywhere, it's really hard to 100% shelter ourselves from it.
All the same, I did change the way I socialize and I would orchestrate situations so I didn't have to hang around bars or go to events that focus solely around drinking. I got comfortable setting boundaries about how to handle still drinking friends and relatives.
Some cool things came out of changing how I socialized though. I started trying new things, getting more adventuresome. I also started being more family oriented. And I developed a love of learning and music again. It was addition from subtraction.... all I had to do was get rid of that one thing - that had been eating away at my soul anyway - drinking, and all these new things opened up.
All the same, I did change the way I socialize and I would orchestrate situations so I didn't have to hang around bars or go to events that focus solely around drinking. I got comfortable setting boundaries about how to handle still drinking friends and relatives.
Some cool things came out of changing how I socialized though. I started trying new things, getting more adventuresome. I also started being more family oriented. And I developed a love of learning and music again. It was addition from subtraction.... all I had to do was get rid of that one thing - that had been eating away at my soul anyway - drinking, and all these new things opened up.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Originally Posted by BillieJean1 
The way I look at it is, the only one stopping me from drinking, is me. My BF still drinks, he even drinks the same beer I used to drink, there's usually some in my fridge. Besides, alcohol is everywhere, it's really hard to 100% shelter ourselves from it.
All the same, I did change the way I socialize and I would orchestrate situations so I didn't have to hang around bars or go to events that focus solely around drinking. I got comfortable setting boundaries about how to handle still drinking friends and relatives.
Some cool things came out of changing how I socialized though. I started trying new things, getting more adventuresome. I also started being more family oriented. And I developed a love of learning and music again. It was addition from subtraction.... all I had to do was get rid of that one thing - that had been eating away at my soul anyway - drinking, and all these new things opened up.
All the same, I did change the way I socialize and I would orchestrate situations so I didn't have to hang around bars or go to events that focus solely around drinking. I got comfortable setting boundaries about how to handle still drinking friends and relatives.
Some cool things came out of changing how I socialized though. I started trying new things, getting more adventuresome. I also started being more family oriented. And I developed a love of learning and music again. It was addition from subtraction.... all I had to do was get rid of that one thing - that had been eating away at my soul anyway - drinking, and all these new things opened up.
Nice one billy j
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
It's a two part question for me - I trust myself around alcohol so I don't avoid social gatherings bc I'm afraid of drinking. However even now I don't always enjoy being around drinking bc it gets me unreasonably frustrated that I'm a nondrinker. I'm just not there yet.
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