New license plate sending me a message?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
New license plate sending me a message?
AY 24720
Alcoholic? Yes. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the last 20 years.
1998 was the year when my gradual decline began... leading me to this moment of time.
When I joined this forum back in 2011, I knew my habit was becoming an obstacle to living a complete and engaging life.
Unfortunately, I only came to the realization about two years ago that it is a serious problem I needed to address. Waiting until the problem became so large that solving it has become a great challenge and obsession... with on again then off again drinking periods over the past year.
The desperation and guilt have been overwhelming. I am analyzing everything I do to the point of paralysis. So much analysis that I can come up with a message regarding my alcoholism in a randomly assigned license plate number.
Alcoholic? Yes. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the last 20 years.
1998 was the year when my gradual decline began... leading me to this moment of time.
When I joined this forum back in 2011, I knew my habit was becoming an obstacle to living a complete and engaging life.
Unfortunately, I only came to the realization about two years ago that it is a serious problem I needed to address. Waiting until the problem became so large that solving it has become a great challenge and obsession... with on again then off again drinking periods over the past year.
The desperation and guilt have been overwhelming. I am analyzing everything I do to the point of paralysis. So much analysis that I can come up with a message regarding my alcoholism in a randomly assigned license plate number.
Human
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane. The fact that you can read the signs is in fact, a good sign. 
Over analysis is something I deal with on the daily, thanks to anxiety and OCD, with no help of former/present addictions fueling it. You mention on again/off again drinking, and that indeed helps that push for over-analysis. Every time we sober up, the brain wakes up all sorts of sensors that were quieted during our addicted time - and it is always colorful, without fail! If you can make it through the initial and sometimes overwhelming sense of overthinking, I promise you will learn to hone it in - and please reach out to us for help! You’re on the right path and you’ve got this. Mistakes are behind you and you are moving forward. Every time your brain tries to dig deep on a past guilt, don’t brush it off - recognize it! It was wrong and you are now on the better route, a learned experience to not be repeated. Dealing with something isn’t necessarily bad. You can logic it out, just takes effort to get past the over thinking, but you can do it. You already made it to this point - nothing is stopping you! Best wishes!
Over analysis is something I deal with on the daily, thanks to anxiety and OCD, with no help of former/present addictions fueling it. You mention on again/off again drinking, and that indeed helps that push for over-analysis. Every time we sober up, the brain wakes up all sorts of sensors that were quieted during our addicted time - and it is always colorful, without fail! If you can make it through the initial and sometimes overwhelming sense of overthinking, I promise you will learn to hone it in - and please reach out to us for help! You’re on the right path and you’ve got this. Mistakes are behind you and you are moving forward. Every time your brain tries to dig deep on a past guilt, don’t brush it off - recognize it! It was wrong and you are now on the better route, a learned experience to not be repeated. Dealing with something isn’t necessarily bad. You can logic it out, just takes effort to get past the over thinking, but you can do it. You already made it to this point - nothing is stopping you! Best wishes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
I've been here for a while over the past few months. My sponsor said that it is a process... and it is important to seek progress, not perfection. Sobriety will happen... especially with sober periods being longer and longer and relapses being shorter and shorter for me over the past few months.
Human
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
Amen to that - progress, not perfection! We want to change ourselves overnight but that’s just not how it goes. Not over two nights, or sometimes even a hundred. Then after a night when we aren’t improved, we get depressed...it’s all a game that our minds trick us into playing. Your sponsor is so correct. At the end of that day, we can just be thankful we didn’t drink, and on to the next! And the next after that, and after that. You’ve made progress already so you know you can do it longer and longer until it’s abolished. I very much admire your strength!
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