I've lost it
 

I miss my friend so much, I'm paralyzed. Can't work my steps, can't focus. Good news is I can't drink, no money. I'm defeated. Where is the hope?

Grief is a very real thing that can paralyse us.
Maybe its time to consider a grief counsellor or support group or something?

D

I have seen a counselor, won't be able to make it to the next appointment, no transportation. Unfortunately I live in the middle of nowhere. I just have too much to work through. Thank you for responding though.

This is not the easiest hub to navigate but there are a lot of resources here

Grief Support Directory - My Grief Angels

Its perfectly ok to grieve and be sad - but if it's impacting your day to day life or your recovery, I think you need to address the way you feel, MovingForward.

D

I just feel like I'm done. I'll make it through my last pack of smokes. I never even made it to his grave. If I had a dollar I would drink, what a sad state.

Thanks for the link, but I can't get past select a language, par for the course

I lost one of my closest friends the same way you did. He took his life. It took a long time for me to process it. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Sorry that links not a goer for you.

I hope maybe someone else here might have personal knowledge of other links or support groups for you MovingForward.


Of you do nothing else consider seeing a dr - or at least calling a crisis line/

This level of grief and depression is not something you need to bare alone - find support.

D
D

Thank you all for your thoughts and response, I have several numbers to try for further support.

MF,
in case it's not been mentioned: there is also a grief forum farther down here on SR forums...bet people know all kinds of resources and can share on what helped them/is helping.

Since you are somewhat isolated, I wonder if you have access to a library? You should be able to access library books online wherever you are.

One of the classic books on grief is 'On Death and Dying' by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

No way to get to the library, even trying to walk somewhere is 8+ miles to the main road. I can get rides to meetings once in a while. My only online access is via my phone and my eyes can only tolerate a little at a time but I'll look into that book. Thanks

I posted on the grief forum but it seems pretty quiet, no posts in over a week. Hopefully someone will pop in and offer advice. I'm failing at my username... No moving forward going on here

Seems like you are moving forward pretty quickly when I comes to finding things that won’t work or that you can’t do, no? Even if you were able to make it to see your counselor today, or get to a grief support group, the chance you seek needs to come from within. So in sense, you have everything you need right where you are now. You could take a walk, meditate, call a hotline, clean your home, take a nap, etc, You also have access to SR which has a wealth of reading that could help. It may seem like you don’t have anything to work with but you truly do.

Thank you Scott, I'm grasping onto everything that exposes itself. My meetings, counselor, SR, anything. I'm falling apart at the seams at the moment and trying to figure my way out.

Hi Moving Forward-Sorry you are having such a rough time, friend. We are here for you no matter what. There is always someone here...so keep posting and reading. We help ourselves when we help others, that's the way it works! Come on here and pour your heart out if that helps. Process your grief. I lost my dad years ago, but I still miss him greatly. He turned to his wisdom and wit when he was in tight spots. I ask myself sometimes when I am in certain situations, "What would Daddy do?" And I often come up with a good answer to the problem.