new to the site
LondonMama123
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: london
Posts: 2
new to the site
Hi - Ive been lurking on this site for the past few years. I am a full blown addict and it seems to be getting worse. I moved last year after having a breakdown (self medication seemed to work for the previous 25+ years) but no more. I move counties with my children as they deserve the best. Unfortunately back down the rabbit hole. So i'm joining with the hope that this time I can get it sorted out. I have a doctors appointment next Friday and will try to ask for help. I look forward to meeting you all and hopefully getting some support/making friends. Addiction is such a lonely place.
I tried meetings last year just before I got ill and left my job. I can't find any near to me where i now live. this bank holiday its exactly a year that I tried so bloody hard to overdose and die and I didn't. I'm hoping that it is for a reason and that I am meant to learn to love myself and get over all the problems. Lots of love X
I tried meetings last year just before I got ill and left my job. I can't find any near to me where i now live. this bank holiday its exactly a year that I tried so bloody hard to overdose and die and I didn't. I'm hoping that it is for a reason and that I am meant to learn to love myself and get over all the problems. Lots of love X
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
Hi LondonMama, welcome to SR, you will find lots of support and information here. Well done for booking that appointment - it takes a lot to do that. Wishing you lots of luck on your journey, keep posting here!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
I feel the same too. I have a little boy, and although I don't think I'm at rock bottom just yet I can certainly see it in the distance. I have been stopping-starting over the past year and I'm tired of this merry-go-round now. You don't have to stand it anymore, you are here, and you can stop. We have too much in our lives to let this beat us, don't we?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 10
'Addiction is such a lonely place' Oh man... How I can relate to that one especially when I kept trying to quit and failed over and over again for years on end.
The good news is, it's possible to get sober, the bad news if we can even really call it that is that it; takes time and getting used to in a way.
And yes you are meant to love yourself, we addicts tend to not love ourselves that's clear, but don't you worry to much for your own sanity, if you take the time to talk to more people on here or anywhere else that have gone through what you're going through, including myself, you will hopefully find the inspiration and strength you need in order to make your life wonderful again!
It's possible!!! and good luck!
The good news is, it's possible to get sober, the bad news if we can even really call it that is that it; takes time and getting used to in a way.
And yes you are meant to love yourself, we addicts tend to not love ourselves that's clear, but don't you worry to much for your own sanity, if you take the time to talk to more people on here or anywhere else that have gone through what you're going through, including myself, you will hopefully find the inspiration and strength you need in order to make your life wonderful again!
It's possible!!! and good luck!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
You're certainly not worthless. I would bet your kids think the world of you.
You matter. Your life matters.
My addiction made me use suicidaly for years. I really didn't care if I lived or died.
But I was all alone in the world. Just me and my alcohol.
I drank to self medicate for twenty five years, too.
By then I was full on addicted. I needed help.
It took me a long time to seek help. I felt worthless, helpless and hopeless.
Good on you for seeing a doctor. Be brutally honest, and don't worry, they've heard it all before.
Remember, you DO matter.
You're taking the right steps. You can quit using. I know you can.
Please take care.
You're certainly not worthless. I would bet your kids think the world of you.
You matter. Your life matters.
My addiction made me use suicidaly for years. I really didn't care if I lived or died.
But I was all alone in the world. Just me and my alcohol.
I drank to self medicate for twenty five years, too.
By then I was full on addicted. I needed help.
It took me a long time to seek help. I felt worthless, helpless and hopeless.
Good on you for seeing a doctor. Be brutally honest, and don't worry, they've heard it all before.
Remember, you DO matter.
You're taking the right steps. You can quit using. I know you can.
Please take care.
London Mama! Glad to have you here with us 
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
I'm so glad you joined us, LondonMama. I felt all alone until I found SR. Everyone understands what you're going through.
Posting and reading here helped see me through many an anxious day - especially in early recovery. It's important to stay busy & distracted from our thoughts for a while. I'm glad you're seeing your doctor next Fri.
You can do it - we will help.
Posting and reading here helped see me through many an anxious day - especially in early recovery. It's important to stay busy & distracted from our thoughts for a while. I'm glad you're seeing your doctor next Fri.
You can do it - we will help.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Welcome, LondonMama,
And, yes, addiction is the loneliest place ever. I'm glad that you are here seeking support. I think that if you are actively working on recovery, no one will take your children.
And, yes, addiction is the loneliest place ever. I'm glad that you are here seeking support. I think that if you are actively working on recovery, no one will take your children.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Welcome 
Very good move joining us.
Since you have been lurking for a while you know that we are here for the same reasons. Join a few regular recurrent threads, the august 2018 class for example. Keep posting...
Very good move joining us.
Since you have been lurking for a while you know that we are here for the same reasons. Join a few regular recurrent threads, the august 2018 class for example. Keep posting...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 112
Don’t give up! I’m zero days sober but trying, and I feel that this forum is a huge blessing, like an internet angel if you will! Nothing has made me feel less alone than this place. You are definitely not alone. From one mama to another, getting sober is the greatest thing we can do for our children and they do love us and need us so, don’t think about leaving them. Fight the fight no matter how many setbacks. I came back here because we have two choices - fight even against all hope - because there is so much proof here that it does get WAY better, or die. I know you don’t want the latter nor do I. Not for you nor me. Life is worth it. You’ve been through so much it can only get better - if you stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Hi london mama . So true addiction is a lonely place. I self meducated for 3 years and about a year broke denial and really started working on total sobriety. However , after periods of abstinence reapeared lapsing. I can see how ilness progresses. First it is soothing only to reach the stage you hate drinking and not able to maintain AF and each relapse reaches some tools. I can say it is very hard without support especially i noticed so many women starts drinking to tackle depression and anxiety. Stress leads to fear , fear leads to relapse catch 22. Some people say a prayer and surrender. I m trying to use now all i know and all i learned through those terrible years. I can identyfy with fact sober life is hard at the beginning but drunk life is hundreds time harder. At least when sober i could do things and having good days between anxiety days. From my personal expierience drink puts me to sleep, broken horrid oblivien and causing huge anxiety and depression. The key is patience i recognised. Many days will pass before getting better with mental health. People shared they expierience . It is individual some get better after month some after a year of sobriety. But for sure this is only way. As hard as life only being alcohol free is the only way in order to get better in mental health. Glad you went to doctor i did the same on Friday and was very honest. I m here for you xD
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