Trelkovsky

its not over yet. Its a new start. Its day one.

I need:
a better plan
To not care about what others think
To learn patience
To recreate myself to the person I want to be
The past is the past. Its time to leave it behind.
To contribute to society
To learn stress coping skills
To focus on self love instead of trying to get someone else to fill the void
Be willing to let my old life and some of the people in it to disappear, in order to create a new one. A one worth living.

I have slipped up 5 times the last month. I keep count. Thats at least a step in the right direction to look on the bright side. Half of what I usually drink. Every one of those five times has been a disaster might I add. A real disaster. I don't stop. I never stop when I start. I might as well quit.. 5 days in agonizing misery and pain for hours of drinking. Money lost, things lost or damaged, doing stupid things EVERYTIME. It don't make sense does it.. My future depends on me getting sober right now. I can't afford to damage my body and mind anymore. I will not be that drunk guy people probably talk about

OneDayOneHour

Hi trelkovsky - I think it's really good you're starting again. I see myself in your list so much. I'm on day 4 and having a little trouble with the patience part, kind of wish I could just sleep for days and wake up with a month of sobriety under my belt. At the same time I know the growth will come from figuring out how to be sober, hour by hour and day by day until I have that month (and more) of sobriety. I know we can figure this out, especially with help from each other

Hevyn

Trelkovsky - that's the way I started out too. I knew what had to be done, but I kept sabotaging myself. Finally I was fed up & exhausted from the whole thing - and ready to heal from all I'd put myself through. I have 10+ yrs. sober after 30 yrs. of drinking - so I know you can do it too! We are with you.

DreamCatcher17

Good for you!

John65

'If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again'.

Good luck.

J

least

I tried and failed but kept on trying til I got it right. Keep trying til you get it.

thomas11

Sounds like you have a good handle on what needs to be done, now its just a matter of actually doing it.

Regarding people talking about you, I remember twice when word got back to me about my drinking. One the comment was "he had way too much fun" and the other was "he is a hardcore alcoholic" (this came from a person I know for a fact is an alcoholic. I never forget that and it helps me stay sober.

lessgravity

Starting again is so important. It takes most of us many times to finally get it right.

ChloeRose63

Just keeping this post alive!
Miss you, T. Thinking of you and hoping you will post soon?

Gabe1980

Good on you Chloe

Trel, keep coming back. There are loads of us in the same boat as you and it's hard to keep giving sobriety another go, but things do start to come together. The more tries, learning and posting you do, the easier it gets. Rach xx

Hevyn

Thank you, Chloe. We have not forgotten you, Trelkovsky.
Doesn't matter how many times you slipped up - the next try for sobriety may be the last one. That's how it was for me. Many fails, followed by over 10 yrs. of success.