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Old 08-08-2018, 01:08 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cuckoo View Post
but I cant get past what people think and so I wont get sober that way.
Unfortunately, no matter which avenue/tools towards sobriety you choose, this 'thinking' will keep you drinking. Let's say you have 10days sober and the boss offers you a drink..then what? What about what he thinks of you if you turn him down? What if it's family or a friend that's having a really hard go at life and just wants to have a few and talk...then what?...more day 1's filled with regret?

What I'm getting at is; excuses/reasons will keep you stuck in the same cycle. Especially if that excuse/reason is what other's think of you. AA(or any sobriety focused action) is you bettering yourself for you (and your family). It's not a popularity contest. The sooner you own and face your issue with alcohol, the better off you'll be. It's easy to say "i have a drinking problem", but it's very hard to really own it and do something about it at first. I'm not saying to shout it from the roof top or anything..BUT..If it's a problem, your main goal needs to be a solution and that should go in any area of one's life.

Edit: I think you should go back and read through your old threads. That really helped me when I kept running across 'reasons' to not stop drinking.
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Old 08-08-2018, 01:24 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Cuckoo View Post
Its so hard but thats the way I am made.
C
no one is made to put others' opinion of themselves first. it is a learned-something that can be changed.
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Old 08-08-2018, 01:27 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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but I cant get past what people think and so I wont get sober that way.

first...lousy excuse.
second.....i think you'd be surprised just how little time other people spending thinking about YOU......everyone is too tied up in their own stuff, worrying about what other people think!!!!

i know you think you are presenting this perfect image....but again, nobody really cares except the person looking back at you in the mirror.

do you remember the family event recently that you got wasted and blacked out? that is what DRINKING gets you. that is what resisting help gets you. or feeling that you are just too unique. you are not. NONE of us are.......alcohol is the great equalizer. it brings us all to our knees.

get humble, get willing, get sober. you WILL NOT regret it.
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Old 08-08-2018, 05:54 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I would much rather have someone see me at AA than someone see me blacked out wasted making a fool of myself. There is a pride that goes with Sobriety, at least for me there is.
I could only imagine the clients I could have lost if someone seen me at a bar act a fool the way I did. Or if I did the things I had done in public to one of my actual clients. I have been banned for life from bar's, luckily no client seen me that way and I walk into AA with dignity and knowing we are all there to better ourselves. I truly believe ALL humans should follow the steps in AA just replace alcoholic with whatever, butt-head, if you must. It humbles people and they have to look at themselves.

If you are so concerned about your neck of the woods, expand up the miles driven and head to another one. OR if this is a male, go to a women's only meeting, I bet he wont be there?

I want to be sober more than I want a drink and I will do WHATEVER it takes to be sober, no if's and or buts' or even who's about it. My life, they are not living it or paying my bills.

I wish the best for you. Find what works for you, but don't stop being stopped! Whatever it takes.
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Old 08-08-2018, 08:40 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I was afraid of running into coworkers when I first went to AA. That’s why I drove farther away or went to meetings I perceived them less likely to go to. So I second some comments here about driving farther away or trying women’s meeting. It was totally worth it. Now with more sobriety and confidence it doesn’t really bother me if a coworker were to spot me.
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:10 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hey, I get it. I couldn’t go in this town for reasons that are similar. But I came here, and joined the class, and checked in constantly. I read a lot of sobriety books, and started focusing on my spiritual health. I read the big book. I did things that worked for me.

With all respect to what is behind what others are saying here, sometimes there is more to the story and - anonymity is important or it wouldn’t be in the name of the org. If the guy has issues with that, and OP says he does, it’s logical to go there.

If you don’t have other options, you may want to consider mitigating the possible damage as some here have suggested, but you can find another way. Your plan is yours.

I’m two years sober, and didn’t use AA. Explaining the exact details of why here would actually kind of blow my anonymity here so I can’t in a public forum. I almost went a few times while traveling for work early on, but it didn’t feel right to drop in as a tourist. Another time when I tried (ultimately unsuccessfully) to get sober, on my first day this woman started yelling at me after the meeting. Sometimes people think they are just talking straight, and assume things that are flat wrong about you. And that can scare a person away.

I was helping an addict IRL recently. Called a male friend in NA to get this addict hooked up with a female NA member to get her in to a meeting. He said, I have the perfect person, she’s actually my vet! Yeah, I guess he forgot that he was the one who told me to use her as my vet. She was pretty upset to have her anonymity blown to a client. Then, later, he went on to tell me the details of how she (our vet) ended up an addict. I’m a trustworthy non-judgmental person obviously, but that’s just not cool. It’s what happens sometimes though and I don’t blame you for being worried. I’m sure you have your reasons.

As long as you get yourself a plan and work it. This site has lots of resources for that. There was a link floating around recently that is very good. You could post asking others for ideas. People have lots of resources and that’s what makes this site so great.
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Old 08-09-2018, 02:26 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Not for nothing but this is the kind of self consumed attitude that AA helps one to shed. Has anyone seen you hammered in public? Chances are you have been gossiped about with regard to that.
Soberiety is the single greatest gift you can give yourself. And it is beyond in right now. And to be frank; nobody really cares. None of us are that important.
I'm sorry but this seems like a reason, an excuse to drink. Things our disease tells us to keep us sick.
GL.
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Old 08-09-2018, 07:13 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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If you don't want to go, don't go. No sense trying to force a square peg in a round hole. If you think IRL meetings will help, commit to driving elsewhere, go 100kms if you have to. There are on-line AA meetings, they are OK, I did quite a few, the problem is the shares, it's like they are writing in stanzas and have this great knowledge to impart and sometimes it falls really flat. I drove 50kms to meetings to not have to see people I know. I decided meetings weren't where it was at for me. Someone recently posted about SMART teleconferences. That could be an option.

I remember last Christmas at the Santa Claus Parade, saying something to someone I was standing with about an acquaintance riding in a float for someone else's farm, saying I didn't know they were acquainted. The person I was speaking with replied that was his AA sponsor. So I found out they were both in AA. I was not two months into my own recovery at that point. So, I totally get what you are saying and agree with you.

I am an alcoholic, I can never drink again. I am taking steps to recover, but it is my business and I don't tell my own business to people. My best friend is still surprised I don't drink anymore, she doesn't know why, she just accepts I gave it up - I don't hammer her about doing keto - she gave up carbs, I gave up wine, that's life. I have a husband, children, businesses and seats at different organisations tables, including one I founded, hopefully a council seat this fall. I was lucky enough to have stopped in time. Loose lips sink ships and my ship is on it's right course finally.

My suggestion, commit to sobriety, commit to a plan to remain sober and take what you can from as many different places as possible and make maintaining sobriety your number one commitment until it becomes as easy as breathing. Do not set yourself up to fail and if AA meetings are a surefire failure for you, don't go, there are literally thousands of ways to recover, AA is just one.
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:06 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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How are you today Cuckoo?
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Old 08-10-2018, 01:52 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Please don't disappear again Cuckoo.
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Old 08-11-2018, 11:46 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Hey Cuckoo. Time to 'clock' in.

See what I did there? Cuckoo clock. I'll get me coat.

Seriously though, how are you doing? We want to know.
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:10 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Hey dec...that made me laugh 😂
Obviously I have run away again rather than face the shame, which I know none if you will give but as you well know its a part of this stupid life we live.
I did get your PM, thankyou, but decided to be totally rude and ignore it🤨 such an ungrateful Bitch.
Huge thanks for all of your support and advice.

I will be checking back in soon.
So until then.......health and happiness to all of you totally awesome people.

I read all day, every day x

C
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:29 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I look foward to hearing more when you check in then.
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:34 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Thank you dec. You are kind of my UK/ Essex rock 🤫
C
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:36 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Should I not have said that....
...location. Is that against the rules !!!
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:44 PM
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No that's fine I'm sure. We just don't want others to be jealous if they are not from Essex.
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Old 08-11-2018, 12:52 PM
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😁. Not drunk at the moment x
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Old 08-11-2018, 01:01 PM
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Thats good. Keep it that way.
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Old 08-11-2018, 01:15 PM
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Watching a prog about Oasis.....love Oasis even though I was a bit too old in the mid nineties !!
That was all about drinking too 😟
C
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Old 08-11-2018, 01:18 PM
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Well I couldn't find anything to watch so it's Police Interceptors - again.
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