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Weak Emotional Intelligence

Old 08-04-2018, 03:18 PM
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Weak Emotional Intelligence

As we bury our stresses and anxieties with alcohol, we weaken our emotional intelligence.

To have a strong EQ you need to practice it in real life. It makes sense that things are harder at the beginning of giving up alcohol, we are facing a ton of shiit with a deficient EQ.

My belief is that in time the problems will be dealt with and through that very process our EQ will strengthen.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Gerard52 View Post
As we bury our stresses and anxieties with alcohol, we weaken our emotional intelligence.

To have a strong EQ you need to practice it in real life. It makes sense that things are harder at the beginning of giving up alcohol, we are facing a ton of shiit with a deficient EQ.

My belief is that in time the problems will be dealt with and through that very process our EQ will strengthen.
I was so stoked when I found out about EQ. But then I quickly realised it's something that isn't held with much regard in the academic world and numerous works have been dedicated to proving how it's invalid: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/job.318

But I know what you mean and it's still a good concept to discuss how alcohol plays a part in damaging/changing emotions. When I spoke to people in the past they didn't even know what EQ was.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:34 PM
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I used to have a very low EQ, I basically experienced life like a toddler emotionally. My whole family seems to be like that. All grown toddlers, pretty well educated and smart but no idea how to deal with their own or other emotions, no idea how to regulate them, how to handle conflicting emotions or to understand other's emotional experiences when they differ from their own.

I have learned partly to get better at this in therapy. But most helpful I found a meditation which is called "ride the wild horse mindfulness meditation" which helps to lose one's fear of strong emotions and to remain mindful even in emotionally stressful situations. The other thing that really helped me is the book "soar above" by Steven Stosny. It's intended to help one still use the logical part of our brains and not just the "toddler" brain when we get emotional, to not act on impulses and to question and review our emotions from an adult perspective.
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Old 08-04-2018, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Gerard52 View Post
As we bury our stresses and anxieties with alcohol, we weaken our emotional intelligence.

To have a strong EQ you need to practice it in real life. It makes sense that things are harder at the beginning of giving up alcohol, we are facing a ton of shiit with a deficient EQ.

My belief is that in time the problems will be dealt with and through that very process our EQ will strengthen.
can I make a suggestion? I find it useful to take ownership of what I say, using the I/me/my pronouns rather than you/your/we/our. I try not to speak for others or to manage their thoughts & feelings, but I can share my own thoughts, feelings & experiences.

I also try to focus on the specific "how" of what I want to achieve - how will the problems be dealt with? what particular processes will strengthen EQ?

I hope you'll take this as a friendly, constructive suggestion, which is how it's intended, as these are some techniques that I have learned & found useful.
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Old 08-04-2018, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by andyh View Post
can I make a suggestion? I find it useful to take ownership of what I say, using the I/me/my pronouns rather than you/your/we/our. I try not to speak for others or to manage their thoughts & feelings, but I can share my own thoughts, feelings & experiences.

I also try to focus on the specific "how" of what I want to achieve - how will the problems be dealt with? what particular processes will strengthen EQ?

I hope you'll take this as a friendly, constructive suggestion, which is how it's intended, as these are some techniques that I have learned & found useful.
It is written as I intended it, thank you.
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Old 08-04-2018, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Gerard52 View Post
It is written as I intended it, thank you.
i will gladly exclude me from the "we" then.
not everyone fits your "we" gerard. not everyone has to do what you have to do.
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