Pajanickah

I'm at the second hospital now. If all else fails her my brothers girlfriend takes Xanax so i will ask her as a last resort. I don't want my family to know what's going on though. I love my brother more than anyone on this earth and I really don't want to let him down.

Pajanickah

The second hospital told me no to any medications. I have no idea wtf is going on

biminiblue

Okay, so they don't think you are in physical danger.

That's good!

How about hitting an AA meeting? It will help calm you.

On Monday, why don't you see a regular GP or a psychiatrist and see if you can start to unravel this.

You're okay! That's good!

I had to work on how I thought about things in order to heal that anxiety.

In the meantime, stick around on this site and READ and keep posting.

Eat well, take a walk.

Breathe.

In 4...out...8

ScottFromWI

This is the contact page for the local Alcohol/Drug resource in your town. DAODAS - Contact DAODAS Call them and ask what they suggest. Or call your local AA chapter. http://www.area62.org/intergroups/index.php?id=3. I understand you are anxious but if you are just shopping hospitals for Benzos to detox on your own that's not going to fly. And getting Benzes from your friend is an extremely bad idea right now - they are just as addictive as alcohol which is the last thing you need.

Pajanickah

I just remembered i had hydrocodone from when i got my tonsils out last year, so i took 2 of them we'll see how that works. I'm praying it does cause i just paid 2 grand to lye in a bed and have doctors treat me like a drug seeker.

Pajanickah

I'm going to mental health on Monday and work with an outpatient program here where I live. I need this chaos to stop. I really feel like GOD is trying to teach me an important right now in my life. I really feel that way.

biminiblue

Staying off all drugs and alcohol and working on my personal issues including (maybe especially) the things with family was the best way to get a grip on my anxiety and depression.

I'm glad you are taking the reins.

It will get better! Staying sober continuously allows the brain and nervous system to heal and I'm not jumpy and anxious any more. It was tough in the beginning. No way to avoid the discomfort. I say try to go through it without the vicodin from now on. You can do it. It's just a bit uncomfortable.

How about an AA meeting?

John65

Are you in pain?

Pajanickah

My whole body hurts, but the pills have taken the anxiety away! Thank GOD!

ScottFromWI

I hope you follow through on the plan to see the mental health people and the IOP plan. Do know though that most OP plans require at least 48-72 hours of abstinence from all substances.

There are a lot of things you could do between then and now too - like a meeting or contacting your local support group networks. Part of that IOP plan will very likely involve just that, so no reason you can’t get a head start.

Pajanickah

I smoke weed daily as well, but am even considering giving that up. I need to learn how to deal with my anxiety without using a substance. I know that alcohol really revs it up, but never considered that weed may be doing the same thing, just not as intense. I don't know if i want to quit smoking through it really does calm me down. I'm am willing to give it up during the IOP sessions.

Pajanickah

So this day turned completely around. I'm feeling much more comfortable with very slight anxiety. I spent most of the day with my best friend. She really helped to calm me down immensely. She is coming over to help me clean up my mess and get some dinner tomorrow. I'm very blessed to have such a non-jugemental sober friend like that in my life. She really opened up to me and revealed that she has HIV. So again, more bad news but she's blessed to live in a day in age where she can live a full life with amazing medications that we have around today. I feel very sad for her because she is also legally blind and only has one eye. She's had such a hard life, but she's such an incredibly positive person. I need to feed off of her character. I actually met her through a woman I called my second Mom who died last year from excessive drinking throughout her life. That woman was the world to me and I miss her terribly.

Anyway, I'm really understanding that I need to change my way of thinking and actually feel relieved to know that I never have to drink again. There have been so many great responses and advice from everyone here and I'm very humbled by them. So in a sorts, I'm already planning on doing some new approaches for my sobriety. I'm also accepting that I need to walk away from some very mentally draining people in my life.

I'm going to continue coming here at least for the first 30 days to read and post to remind myself - and basically scare myself into not doing this anymore. I used to lurk on this site the very first time I sobered up and it was an immense help. I know drinking doesn't help with any aspect in my life and just makes everything way too intense as well as exhausting. Life shouldn't be like that and I'm just making myself look like a fool. I'm over it.

I know I'm only like 24 hours into this, but today was a very positive day and really showed me that you can turn it around at any point. I just need to start living in the moment again and really appreciate the small things in life.

Sorry, I'm a rambler, you guys will really learn that about me. Anyway, thanks for listening. It's nice to know that I have amazing company at any minute of the day. I do ask if anyone is spiritual to please pray for me, as I desperately want this monster away from me.

-Nick

Caralara144

Thinking of you nick
Keep posting
I'll keep praying
You got this

Cara❤

16YearsDrunk

Are you drinking as a way to relieve anxiety, or depression? Or has alcohol cause either of those? I went on medications to treat my mental health problems and that honestly really helped me a lot.

Pajanickah

I rarely drink to relieve any anxiety or depression anymore, however on this last bender I was. As for psych meds, I had a really horrible experience the last few times I tried them. I find exercise to be an incredible help. That and eating a vegetarian diet. I really feel like I need to see a therapist though. I really wanna explore a few more valleys before I start taking pills that change my authentic self being.