That which you resist, persists
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That which you resist, persists
The more and more I gain clarity from being sober, the more and more I am able to see the amount of avoidance that I participate in on a daily basis. Avoidance is a complex I see as driving much of my drinking. If I take the pleasure I had in the oblivion out of the equation, it's avoidance, over and over, that was the god I served.
The obligations, the stress, the responsibilities, the boredom, the impatience, the sadness, the hard facts of life - so easily avoided in the washing wasted hours I spend on the couch with my cheap wine and vodka. But, as Jung put it so simply - that which we resist, persists. The bills, the relationships, the call-backs, the sad, hurt psyche inside me - all these did not resolve themselves on their own. They were waiting for me, waiting for me to get sober.
And now that I'm sober I have the time and patience and peace and strength to deal.
To deal is what gives meaning to life. I'm finally able to do that. Though I see my old habits emerge and I see them as strings in the web of my avoidance complex. And I see that the only way is through. The obstacle is the path. What we have become is what we have to overcome to be who we are. Etc etc.
Finally, I think I might be able to mend the rift that I have always felt and I have always avoided. Only because I'm sober.
The obligations, the stress, the responsibilities, the boredom, the impatience, the sadness, the hard facts of life - so easily avoided in the washing wasted hours I spend on the couch with my cheap wine and vodka. But, as Jung put it so simply - that which we resist, persists. The bills, the relationships, the call-backs, the sad, hurt psyche inside me - all these did not resolve themselves on their own. They were waiting for me, waiting for me to get sober.
And now that I'm sober I have the time and patience and peace and strength to deal.
To deal is what gives meaning to life. I'm finally able to do that. Though I see my old habits emerge and I see them as strings in the web of my avoidance complex. And I see that the only way is through. The obstacle is the path. What we have become is what we have to overcome to be who we are. Etc etc.
Finally, I think I might be able to mend the rift that I have always felt and I have always avoided. Only because I'm sober.
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Originally Posted by DontRemember 
What kind of plan are you working?
, about 3 months ago. I hit up a couple meetings during the first 2 weeks after my last, and final, binge - which was 112 days ago according to the sober counter on my phone. I'm committed to a detailed and progressive weight lifting plan in the gym. I visit SR on a very regular basis. I'm in therapy 3 times a month for all the issues and complexes I need to explore in order to be a better version of myself than I have been for my drunk, adult life. I have recommitted to my meditation practice (TM, which I took a course in while still deep in the poison).Other than those, my plan is never to drink again. And to thereby reap the benefits of sobriety.
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Originally Posted by lessgravity
I finished Rational Recovery, for the second time , about 3 months ago. I hit up a couple meetings during the first 2 weeks after my last, and final, binge - which was 112 days ago according to the sober counter on my phone. I'm committed to a detailed and progressive weight lifting plan in the gym. I visit SR on a very regular basis. I'm in therapy 3 times a month for all the issues and complexes I need to explore in order to be a better version of myself than I have been for my drunk, adult life. I have recommitted to my meditation practice (TM, which I took a course in while still deep in the poison).
Other than those, my plan is never to drink again. And to thereby reap the benefits of sobriety.
, about 3 months ago. I hit up a couple meetings during the first 2 weeks after my last, and final, binge - which was 112 days ago according to the sober counter on my phone. I'm committed to a detailed and progressive weight lifting plan in the gym. I visit SR on a very regular basis. I'm in therapy 3 times a month for all the issues and complexes I need to explore in order to be a better version of myself than I have been for my drunk, adult life. I have recommitted to my meditation practice (TM, which I took a course in while still deep in the poison).Other than those, my plan is never to drink again. And to thereby reap the benefits of sobriety.
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
Nice! keep at it and don't pick up. I feel like I'm 20 again at around 19mo(minus 1 night). It's new a world in my eyes.
Can't agree more - it's a second life that is granted when we cross the line.
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Pertinent quote from James Baldwin:
The time has come for us to grow up. A man grows up when he looks back, realizes what has happened to him, accepts it all, and begins to change himself. He cannot grow up until he reaches this moment and passes it. We are now at the end of our extraordinarily prolonged adolescence. A very great poet, an American, Miss Marianne Moore, wrote, many years ago, the following description of our terrors: “The weak overcomes its menace. The strong overcomes itself.”
The time has come for us to grow up. A man grows up when he looks back, realizes what has happened to him, accepts it all, and begins to change himself. He cannot grow up until he reaches this moment and passes it. We are now at the end of our extraordinarily prolonged adolescence. A very great poet, an American, Miss Marianne Moore, wrote, many years ago, the following description of our terrors: “The weak overcomes its menace. The strong overcomes itself.”
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Powerful stuff. My guess is the therapy is at work big time.
I'm seeing similar gains and clarity come as well as a result of weekly sessions. It's messy at times, but it beats the hell out of being numb and wrecking ****.
Well done mate!
-B
I'm seeing similar gains and clarity come as well as a result of weekly sessions. It's messy at times, but it beats the hell out of being numb and wrecking ****.
Well done mate!
-B
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
I'll just add a word of caution: Try not to get too 'caught up/cocky/complacent' ..for anyone in recovery. That led me back many times.
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I am rooting for you Less! you are right, life beats us up. You have to keep getting back up, get into the action. Keep your home secure, keep your kids safe. Be present in your life. Love fully. It takes sobriety to live to your potential.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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Same here LG.
We learned about avoidance as a powerful drinking/using influence in my IOP and in my experience it's hugely true. Not sure which came first (chicken or egg) but addicts and avoidant personality traits seem to go hand in hand.
I just spent an hour in therapy on this issue. What's really amazing to me is that sitting in the avoidance and procrastination is FAR more uncomfortable than just dealing with the problem...which is almost always far more easily solvable than I pictured, and the outcome much better.
I'm crushing through some avoidance as relates to the new career path I've chosen and am just getting started. It's completely different from my old jobs...which is a very good thing, as what I had been avoiding for years through drink and drug was NOT making a change out of a job that was clearly not suitable. I've been having strong cravings. It would "solve" the problem of being in a bad place of not acting and the fear of change and the unknown and being judged and all of that stuff.
But of course it would solve nothing.
Trying to reschedule my workouts around my new commitments and injuries. THAT will make me feel a lot better as well!
A huge part of my sobriety is pushing through that which I fear, and reaping the benefits of a more directed life.
We learned about avoidance as a powerful drinking/using influence in my IOP and in my experience it's hugely true. Not sure which came first (chicken or egg) but addicts and avoidant personality traits seem to go hand in hand.
I just spent an hour in therapy on this issue. What's really amazing to me is that sitting in the avoidance and procrastination is FAR more uncomfortable than just dealing with the problem...which is almost always far more easily solvable than I pictured, and the outcome much better.
I'm crushing through some avoidance as relates to the new career path I've chosen and am just getting started. It's completely different from my old jobs...which is a very good thing, as what I had been avoiding for years through drink and drug was NOT making a change out of a job that was clearly not suitable. I've been having strong cravings. It would "solve" the problem of being in a bad place of not acting and the fear of change and the unknown and being judged and all of that stuff.
But of course it would solve nothing.
Trying to reschedule my workouts around my new commitments and injuries. THAT will make me feel a lot better as well!
A huge part of my sobriety is pushing through that which I fear, and reaping the benefits of a more directed life.
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