Gerard52

Ego fatigue occurs when we suppress urges and use will power to abstain. It is white knuckle or dry drunk and inevitably leads to relapse.

To avoid this we apparently need to reframe our attitude to alcohol or whatever else is your poison. I am using Smart Recovery tools which are CBT based. Smart Recovery do a number of online meetings, these are like big conference calls.

Snowydelrico

Keep up the good work Gerard.
It’s worth the hard work.
Well worth the hard work.

MantaLady

Hi Gerard ��

I am in the UK too and have just got out of 2 month of rehab. Is there any chance you would mind sending me a pm with details of the online SMART meetings? The CBT tools I learned in rehab are worth their weight in gold and I want to continue with it.

Thanks in advance and take care xx

August252015

I have found that getting rid of my ego in pretty much all areas of my life is critical. It's an ongoing thing of course- sometimes we don't even think our ego is involved.

My husband and I call this kind if thought change "flipping it"- i.e., instead of "how could that person do this to me?"....change it to "what's going on with them, what were they trying to do/say, etc?" In the BB it talks a lot about getting away from the "I"- pp 84-88 and 417-418 are really helpful to me. Taking myself out of the role of ultimate critic or my definition of perfection....just two things this alcoholic needs to keep in check.

daredevil

I've used the SMART tools in my recovery; I still use willpower to abstain, but instead of viewing abstention as deprivation, I view sobriety as aligning with my values and beliefs.

SMART focuses on the power of choice. As such, there is no ego fatigue or dry drunk syndrome. I'm glad you're benefitting from the tools, but your assessment that white knuckling inevitably leads to relapse is simply an opinion, not a statement of fact.

D122y

Gerard,

Sober by any means!

I told this dude I don't drink any more.

He said....oh my sister is in the program.

I said...ya, the only program I am in is the non drinking one. I just decided I was tired of being tired. The buzz was not worth it to me any more.

I mentioned that I learned about everything from the internet and that is what made me.....aware.

Now, it is like many things...self discipline...and trying to be responsible.

Feeling normal is amazing....and it still seems to be getting better.

Folks here tell me it gets better and better for decades.

It never stops.

Looking forward to that.

Thanks.

lessgravity

I'm of the mind that the ego is something to nurture and take care of, rather than shun. I may be wrong in using the term "ego" - perhaps soul or spirit or psyche is better. But I am finding in sobriety that my self-belief, my self-trust and my ego are finally being supported and grown by my actions.

Without the poison you actually have the time and the space and the peace and the strength to try and find, and perhaps even become, your Self.

Gerard52

Hi MantaLady I will post it on thread it seems we can't send links through PM.

Gerard52

The ego is something to be controlled with a big stick. Most trouble and friction internally and towards others arises from inflated and out of control egos.

In the context of ego fatigue I think it refers to self will.

Gerard52

Smart Recovery online meeting schedule UK.

https://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/mee...nline-meetings

Madnellie

I'm in AA and it helps me tonnes, but I also love SMART. You learn so many practical tools and the meetings have a different structure to them.

Also, I would highly recommend looking into DBT as well as CBT. Some of the skills I learned have been absolutely invaluable in my recovery so far.

lessgravity

My ego took a massive self-imposed beating for most of my adult life because of my drinking. Now it's free to at least claim some room for itself.

MantaLady

Thanks a million for the link Gerard, much appreciated! x

MyLittleHorsie

I think maybe a link back to the original experiments is necessary. Some people I believe may be crossed. Ego is not meant in the literal sense. Ego depletion and fatigue refers to a serious of experiments conducted where people, not necessarily addicts had to exhibit restraint and were then asked to perform cognitive tasks. The prevailing findings were the psychological restraint required, depleted one, shirt term in a cognitive way.
There becomes there a duality in addiction treatment as this depletion occurs as one attempts to abstain, however there is also a physical change in sobriety which is also linked to cognitive function.

Buckley3

For what it's worth, I'm impressed as heck at the rate and depth you are learning. Really appreciate you sharing these tidbits. Gets me thinking...

Thanks,

B

matrac

What does dry drunk mean?

MantaLady

Hi matrac, the term means someone who is still thinking and behaving like an addict but is just not drinking. If you don’t tackle and change your thinking and behaviours relapse is more likely and nothing much changes.

ShenzyT

I was going to ask the same thing Mantrac.

It's so interesting reading this, I'm going to check out Smart Recovery aswell. Thanks for posting Gerard.