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Reading the big book it's confusing

Old 07-25-2018, 09:53 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Years ago a friend was all over me to read Women Who Run With the Wolves, it took me a year and a half. As soon as I finished it, I passed it onto the next woman I saw... They HAD to read it.


The friend who gave it to me laughed, she told me books like that reveal themselves to you when you are ready. The Big Book was the same way, it took almost a month, lots of eye rolls and yeah, ok thens… however, parts of it really spoke to me and when I needed those parts, they seemed to open up and when I finished the book, I read it again and while I am not an AA person, I highly recommend the book to anyone struggling with addiction. Different parts are appropriate at different times. One time you might struggle through a section, not understand it, not feel it relates to you, the next time you read it, it does.
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Old 07-25-2018, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by nez View Post
and is that a bad thing? :~)
No not at all but and if you read my post , my premise was it is hard to comprehend at times, especially being new to sobriety.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:39 PM
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Bunchie,
have you read the chapter Into Action? P 84-88 in particular list specific things to ask yourself and to do. About your actions, your thoughts, how you treat others...and what to do in order to be better at all that. These are pages I read every single morning, along with p 417-418 which hammer home the point that reality will always win out and we are not in control of it, nor of anyone else.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:53 PM
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grab a highlighter and as you read the book, highlight any parts that DO make sense to you, or do really speak to you. then next time thru, do the same thing.....what usually happens is MOST of the text ends up highlighted!!!

more is always revealed. what's cool is even tho you said some of it was confusing or not adding up for you, you knew WHERE you were in the book, what page and the context.

a lot of people find their first true connection when they read the personal stories.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:56 PM
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The vernacular of the BB was very intimidating/confusing for me because..I'm not really, what I'd call "book smart". I know math,words,colors and 'other thAngs' though. Kinda like me trying to read the bible..Anyways..I've heard that BB study groups are great! I more/less do the daily reflections nowadays and have for the better part of a year. Meetings are also great because people try to 'share' about both the BB and DR passages that are read at the beggining. Fun fact: When I was, I think, in my 3rd court ordered meeting I was asked to read the daily reflection..I didn't know that the pages were dated. Who really would,with the title of the book being "Daily Reflections" and all?
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Old 07-25-2018, 04:41 PM
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I couldn’t read it hard copy. I loved it as an audio book, although the narrator was a tad annoying to me... overall I enjoyed it, though.

I personally found it important to listen objectively instead of feeling as though I had to adopt the entire philosophy completely at that point in time. If I listened while believing that was how I HAD to feel and HAD to think and HAD to become.... I would have tuned it all out. I just listened with the mentality of “one sentence at a time” instead of forcing myself to adopt the book in its entirety. I do believe it’s an important read for both alcoholics and the people in their lives
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Old 07-25-2018, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
grab a highlighter and as you read the book, highlight any parts that DO make sense to you, or do really speak to you. then next time thru, do the same thing.....what usually happens is MOST of the text ends up highlighted!!!

more is always revealed. what's cool is even tho you said some of it was confusing or not adding up for you, you knew WHERE you were in the book, what page and the context.

a lot of people find their first true connection when they read the personal stories.
Anvilhead,
Thank you , I am going to do that tonight I'm on night shift and I will have time to read . I am loving this book , I love reading anyway , but to read a book like this and realise as your reading what this program of AA has accomplished is really quite inspirational, a book that was written long ago that will be here centuries from now still helping people , is worthy of respect and admiration whether you adhere to the principles of AA or not. I am going to meetings and I am going to remain sober , I really do believe that now.
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Old 07-26-2018, 12:04 AM
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There is a sub group of AA in the States called the "Muckers", because they really muck up their big books with their highlighters. It's not a bad idea though as it is a text book, and it might make it easier to refer back to parts that rang bells.

A lot if it I compared to my personal experience. A simple statement like the one about losing the power of choice in drink. I could answer yes or no as per my experience_it was yes btw. My experience began to line up with the book at least as far as the problem went.

When I read parts relating to the solution, not a lot of that was in my experience. But when I took the suggested action, I began to see myself in those parts too, as my experience grew. So instead of sitting around talking about drinking, I could talk about things happening in my recovery journey, which actually gave me more in common with the recovered folk.

Another thing some of the Muckers do is to use different colors to highlight different things. It might be green for a suggested course of action, blue for a promise, and purple for a prayer.
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Old 07-26-2018, 12:30 AM
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Hi Bunchie!!
I am new muself to sobriety and go to AA. I have now started going through the BB with my sponsor and am seeing it in a totally new way.
So not much advice here I just wanted to say I think it is great you have started reading and even better that you have posted here with honesty for some clarification. You are showing willingness to learn and in the beginning all we need is to be willing to do what is suggested to stay sober. So I wanted to say well done and keep going!!!
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Old 07-26-2018, 03:21 AM
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Originally Posted by snitch View Post
Hi Bunchie!!
I am new muself to sobriety and go to AA. I have now started going through the BB with my sponsor and am seeing it in a totally new way.
So not much advice here I just wanted to say I think it is great you have started reading and even better that you have posted here with honesty for some clarification. You are showing willingness to learn and in the beginning all we need is to be willing to do what is suggested to stay sober. So I wanted to say well done and keep going!!!
Thank you , Snitch, I really find the BB fascinating and it keeps me busy and with the meetings I have been attending, I am finding it easier to fulfill my day and stay sober. The last few times I tried sobriety I did not attend meetings or use this forum , and I am finding it a lot easier now.I wish you well on your sober journey and look forward to reading your posts. Have a great day.
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Old 07-26-2018, 03:54 AM
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Huh, Gottalife, never heard the word or grouping of "Muckers" ~ Ihabe always underlined and starred and such books I read. My sponsor did tell me to mark certain parts and I have found most of my notes useful esp when I add a date of the thought, telling me where I was in recovery when I made it.

Plenty of folks like my husband prefer a clean text I am sure!
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:26 AM
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Bunchie you are quite right to take it slowly. I first attended meetings last year did the first 3 steps and am now coming back to it. We are dealing with sub-concious feelings and emotions buried for decades. People without alcohol problems have them too. May be our silver lining as alcoholics is that we need to face up to these things to recover. I would recommend attending AA relax listening to shares, don't rush to a sponsor. Listen to the shares that make sense to you and consider these people as sponsors. I have been off and on drinking in the last year and my resolve to stop and understanding of myself not least through AA is increasing all the time.
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Old 07-26-2018, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by bunchie View Post
Eyes99,
Thank you so much , that explains things quite clearly, that's preety heavy stuff all this emotional baggage we have, I never thought of it before, I just went to bar after work and drank and figured I deserve it , a lot of people go to bar for same reason, but I guess it is an escape from ourselves that we are after, I will have to really reflect on myself and try to come to grips with what my , fears, and resentments are , I think this is very important from what I have been reading.,: Being so early in recovery I do not want to overwhelm myself right now so I will talk to someone about sponsoring me.
Thank you so much.
Attaboy and be diligent in meeting with your sponsor with working hard on each step. It will open up so much understanding that now seems vague.
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Old 07-26-2018, 05:09 AM
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Bunchie, around here it is common to have a temporary sponsor- both folks can get to know each other and you can start step work. If it isn't a good match for long term, you can make a change and you will already be on the road with your program. The temporary word can help take the pressure off of you to pick the "right" person.
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