T318C

I wish I could explain to my husband exactly what I am going through in early recovery. How do you all explain addiction and recovery and sobriety to someone who has never suffered from it.
I love him very much. But I am getting exhausted of reassuring I am attracted to him very much but I have no sex drive. I said maybe it’s all my new meds, maybe it’s because I’m so early in recovery but I don’t know how else to explain it.
I asked if he would come to a therapy session with me so my therapist could help what my body and mind are going through. And he says comments like no, I don’t need your therapist to tell me anything. It’s because you are not attracted to me.
Helppp

BlownOne

Maybe bait the hook? Tell him understanding brings intimacy. The more willing he is to humble himself and learn about what you're going thru, the better communication can be and it's one step closer to being back on track. "Normies" have a very hard time comprehending the mind of an alcoholic, and early recovery can be a chaotic time in the brain of a newly recovering person. He would do well to go with you to the therapist. But regardless, don't let his lack of willingness derail your recovery. that's what needs to come first right now. His libido can wait. It won't kill him.

Sobriety2018

I completley agree! I try explaining what im going thru..sometimes he gets it, sometimes not. You just need to take the time to focus on you and your recovery.

Nonsensical

When I was first getting sober I wanted my wife to understand what I was going through, but I never spent any time trying to understand what she was going through.
Change is hard for most people. So is communication. How is his life changing, and how should he articulate it to you in a way that you'll understand?

August252015

IME it was most important for me to accept and begin to understand what my sobriety meant, instead of my active alcoholism, before I could think of explaining it to anyone else.

tomsteve

i dont try.
i hope you are also trying to understand what HE has gone through with your drinking.

Gottalife

A sponsor can be helpful in explaining what is happening to the family, and aldo chapter's in the Big Book, To Wives, and The Family Afterwards, can give some insight on how he could help you.

But then again you can find that the other half can initially be very resentful when an outsider seems to sole a problem that he has been battling unsuccessfuly for years.

It is not easy, and it may be the case that it will take time, and your actions will speak louder than any words.

Anna

I think you should focus on yourself and getting healthy, rather than focusing on making your husband understand. I wanted my family to understand me in early recovery. They wanted me to get well, but beyond that, they were not interested. It was my problem and mine to fix. Use your energy to help yourself.