Truthseeker11

Is it normal? I told the guy I’m sort of seeing off via texts, I told him now that I’m sober my eyes are finally open and I deserve so much better than him and what he’s put me though.

I just feel like crying a lot and I’m also angry but I’m also eating healthy and the first thing I did after work was come to SR. I’m already losing my physical desire to drink. My last drink was a beer at 3 am Friday so it’s been 95 hours.

In between these emotions I feel a bit flat, it’s a rollercoaster for sure. Is anyone else here too? I’ve gotten into my pajamas already at 2 pm and just caring for myself the way my boyfriend never did, no one ever really did. Maybe this is what sobriety is about. Instead of being selfish, I’m just putting myself first. It felt good to tell him off. Enough. Maybe he was all I deserved as a drunk but right now I know I deserve so much more.

Sonder

If he was enabling you, then you are better off. I went through a similar situation in my previous relationship where we we enabling each other's drinking. I realized I needed to get out for my own good. Sometimes I feel guilty, and think I was selfish, and I pray that he's okay- but together we couldn't function.

Truthseeker11

He absolutely enabled me, and I enabled him. He was only loving toward me when drunk and in my presence. Then it was all about how in love he is with me, holding me and trying to constantly touch me in public and kissing my face and it felt good after him withholding any attention from the rest of the time. But the rest of the time I didn’t really exist. And after that one night at the bar that I saw him every week, he wanted to send me home with a bottle of wine so I could keep drinking at home.

It wasn’t healthy in any way, shape or form. He wanted to make me happy with money and wine but no real life, sober time or attention, and I wanted him to get drunk so he could show me affection. Yeah, it was the epitome of dysfunctional. I love him but I can’t do even this one night a week with him, it’s kept me in chains for 1.5 years of my life now.

Gabe1980

Yep - roller coaster of emotions are perfectly normal. I think the mind and body are sorting things out in their own ways. Take care and be kind to yourself. You are doing awesome already.

And congrats too on realising your worth and getting rid of the guy who doesn't deserve you. Best wishes to you. Gabe xx

Atlast9999

I’m only 40 days sober but the first couple of weeks were a roller coaster of emotions. I could go from fine to over the top angry in about .005 seconds. My poor kids got a lot of angry, screaming mommy at first. The emotional extremes settled down around two weeks, for me. Hang in there...it gets better.

Good job on putting yourself first and taking care of you!

Truthseeker11

Thank you guys. I’m glad to know it’s normal and not just who I’ve become. I know it’s only day 3 but I feel proud. A little crazy but proud and relieved!

ChloeRose63

It gets sooo much better! You will start thinking much more clearly and seeing the sharper image of things the more sober days you have. In fact, your brain will start working for you and you will suddenly feel smarter! That leads to better habits and a better lifestyle. Stay strong. It will become a whole new world!

Truthseeker11

I really hope so! Thank you. Is it normal to have short term memory loss in the early days? Mind has been awful today!

ChloeRose63

Yes. Your brain is 'rewiring'. Itis chemicaly getting back to 'normal'. I take suppliments especially b-complex and theanine.

Obladi

Good for you!

You do deserve better - in your relationships with others as well as with yourself. So proud you're not drinking through this it's not easy. Take care of yourself. If all you do is Not Drink, you've had a successful day!

O

thomas11

Allow yourself some more time to adjust. Major changes are going on right now physically and mentally. I would suggest not doing anything impulsive. Resist the desire to make snap decisions.