This will be my last day drinking - will stop starting tomorrow...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Wayfarer,
Congratulations on your progress and making this decision! We are here for you and understand. Don't assume it will get harder. I found drinking and its aftermath to be a lot harder in every way. When you step back from it and have some time under your belt, it's easier to see. It's like it takes over your rational mind.
Your story sounds very familiar to me. I also have a family, a spouse, kids, a good life.. somehow alcohol sucked me in. I hid it (or tried to) from my husband, family and friends. All the good and beautiful and meaningful and creative things I used to do fell by the wayside. There's only so much you can do in a day when you squander hours buying alcohol, sneaking it home, drinking it, sneaking the empties out, hiding the extent of it, sleeping horribly, waking up with a jolt, feeling sick, taking longer and longer to recover from it... then starting all over.
That's no way to live. So glad you recognized it. Quitting and staying quit is in your power! You can do it.
Keep posting.
Congratulations on your progress and making this decision! We are here for you and understand. Don't assume it will get harder. I found drinking and its aftermath to be a lot harder in every way. When you step back from it and have some time under your belt, it's easier to see. It's like it takes over your rational mind.
Your story sounds very familiar to me. I also have a family, a spouse, kids, a good life.. somehow alcohol sucked me in. I hid it (or tried to) from my husband, family and friends. All the good and beautiful and meaningful and creative things I used to do fell by the wayside. There's only so much you can do in a day when you squander hours buying alcohol, sneaking it home, drinking it, sneaking the empties out, hiding the extent of it, sleeping horribly, waking up with a jolt, feeling sick, taking longer and longer to recover from it... then starting all over.
That's no way to live. So glad you recognized it. Quitting and staying quit is in your power! You can do it.
Keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 17
Made it another night without alcohol.
On day 4 now. It's my daughter's first birthday today, so I took off from work today and tomorrow - going to be harder since I won't be at work all day where I can't drink.
Thanks for the continued support! This place is amazing.
On day 4 now. It's my daughter's first birthday today, so I took off from work today and tomorrow - going to be harder since I won't be at work all day where I can't drink.
Thanks for the continued support! This place is amazing.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Your sobriety is a great gift for your daughter's first birthday!
Since time off is a concern - plan. Make a plan for today and tomorrow that will keep you occupied and distracted as much as possible. Get outside and do things that are fun.
Since time off is a concern - plan. Make a plan for today and tomorrow that will keep you occupied and distracted as much as possible. Get outside and do things that are fun.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,702
What a wonderful gift to give your daughter...a sober father at her 1st birthday party! She will have the best gift of all because you wiil be truly 'present' at the celebration! You can experience real happiness in her smile!
Your family deserves the best you! Keep it going! It gets better and better!
Your family deserves the best you! Keep it going! It gets better and better!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
wayfarer
Congratulations again on your decision , from here on out it gets better. It is mostly a mind game now and a very winnable one at that.
Learning to ignore AV comes from learning to identify and separate from It. To bolster your own resolve in your 100% confidence level in your ability to remain abstinent getting comfortable with flipping the AV's perspective will help highlight its twisted logic and instantly defeat it.
You said it will be harder to not drink because /when you are at work you can't drink. Sure you could have ,but you didn't and now don't. Your ability to recognize the possible consequences of imbibing while at work was/is the justification the AV used to twist that into setting up the conditions under which you would then agree to recognizing the proper conditions for imbibing , the times you can/could drink. Which eventually lead to being tricked into assuming that when 'can' situations are in place , not drinking is almost impossible , basically inevitable, or at the very least very hard not to do.
The most powerful Jedi- mind -trick is to flip that on its head, acknowledge that you can drink and get plastered whenever , whereever, but You Don't.
Being at home where you can drink and then not drinking is only dangerous or difficult if not drinking is predicated on the false assumption that there is an alternative where/when you can't.
If your ability to remain abstinent is beyond your control , except when you 'can't'
like at work , then the cognitive dissonance the feeling of having your resolve shaken in the face of a 'can situation' is useful against your better judgement.
Smash that illusion of cognitive dissonance, you were/are without doubt, able to not drink at work in reality regardless the untrue condition . You Don't , can ? can't? doesn't matter one iota when you Don't , yeah?
Congratulations again on your decision , from here on out it gets better. It is mostly a mind game now and a very winnable one at that.
Learning to ignore AV comes from learning to identify and separate from It. To bolster your own resolve in your 100% confidence level in your ability to remain abstinent getting comfortable with flipping the AV's perspective will help highlight its twisted logic and instantly defeat it.
You said it will be harder to not drink because /when you are at work you can't drink. Sure you could have ,but you didn't and now don't. Your ability to recognize the possible consequences of imbibing while at work was/is the justification the AV used to twist that into setting up the conditions under which you would then agree to recognizing the proper conditions for imbibing , the times you can/could drink. Which eventually lead to being tricked into assuming that when 'can' situations are in place , not drinking is almost impossible , basically inevitable, or at the very least very hard not to do.
The most powerful Jedi- mind -trick is to flip that on its head, acknowledge that you can drink and get plastered whenever , whereever, but You Don't.
Being at home where you can drink and then not drinking is only dangerous or difficult if not drinking is predicated on the false assumption that there is an alternative where/when you can't.
If your ability to remain abstinent is beyond your control , except when you 'can't'
like at work , then the cognitive dissonance the feeling of having your resolve shaken in the face of a 'can situation' is useful against your better judgement.
Smash that illusion of cognitive dissonance, you were/are without doubt, able to not drink at work in reality regardless the untrue condition . You Don't , can ? can't? doesn't matter one iota when you Don't , yeah?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Midwest
Posts: 133
Congratulations Wayfarer on Day 4, I'm on Day 4 too. Like you I was sober 6 years, had a good amount of sobriety and I thought foundation. But it too sucked me back in for similar reasons. I am married, 2 daughters, and my husband was aware that I was experimenting again with Alcohol, but not to the extent I truly am.
What tealily said was true, all the creative good thing I am doing have fell to the wayside, I work and come home, sneak a bottle of vodka or something in, hide it, the time I spend planning on getting something to drink, using cash so it's not traceable or combining it with the grocery store bill, and then sneak it somewhere, only to sneak it out, find a dumpster, so so exhausting. And truly for what? That second of feeling nothing, only to have shame and disgust come over you. You have to act sober, you wait and wait hoping you get sober quick so your spouse or kids don't notice, or you go to bed early, only so many headaches, long days you can have to go to bed. And why? why? It's such a disease of the mind.
Like Anna and Chloe said, so exciting for your daughter to have her 1st birthday sober. I'm looking forward to moving my daughter to college sober. I'm going to be Jedi and play that mind trick, I don't need it not want it. We have had long term sobriety so we can do it. It's just up to each one of us to make that decision.
I have no more chances, I was so intoxicated last Saturday, in front of friends I haven't seen in 20 years, they thought I didn't drink anymore, now they are scared of who I am, my husband had to bring me home, my daughter saw me. There is no more chances. I don't want another one. God speed.
Enjoy the weekend. One minute, literally, at a time!
What tealily said was true, all the creative good thing I am doing have fell to the wayside, I work and come home, sneak a bottle of vodka or something in, hide it, the time I spend planning on getting something to drink, using cash so it's not traceable or combining it with the grocery store bill, and then sneak it somewhere, only to sneak it out, find a dumpster, so so exhausting. And truly for what? That second of feeling nothing, only to have shame and disgust come over you. You have to act sober, you wait and wait hoping you get sober quick so your spouse or kids don't notice, or you go to bed early, only so many headaches, long days you can have to go to bed. And why? why? It's such a disease of the mind.
Like Anna and Chloe said, so exciting for your daughter to have her 1st birthday sober. I'm looking forward to moving my daughter to college sober. I'm going to be Jedi and play that mind trick, I don't need it not want it. We have had long term sobriety so we can do it. It's just up to each one of us to make that decision.
I have no more chances, I was so intoxicated last Saturday, in front of friends I haven't seen in 20 years, they thought I didn't drink anymore, now they are scared of who I am, my husband had to bring me home, my daughter saw me. There is no more chances. I don't want another one. God speed.
Enjoy the weekend. One minute, literally, at a time!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Midwest
Posts: 133
Originally Posted by Wayfarer 
Made it through the work week. Today is day 6...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Clifton, Virginia
Posts: 57
Congrats Wayfarer, it is awesome. I am on my Day 6 as well. I really do feel better mentally and physically. I do have my urges in the evening, since it is when I drank, only in the evenings until I fell asleep. But I am staying busy and always think about why I stop when I have urges.
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