A "possible" success story (my own)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
A "possible" success story (my own)
I came to SR in 2015 and had been lurking for many months. I knew I had a problem. Finally joined, fought tooth and nail with anyone and everyone that I could control my drinking etc.....I couldn't.
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, 15 years. Both my wife and I had remained single through out 30's and did not have kids. God brought us together in 2002. I also turned 50 this year. These silly numbers have really affected me. I'm amazed that someone would tolerate me for 15 years, I'm also starting to think I'm "getting old". I burned through my first 49 years of life with no looking back, now I seem to care.
What I can say is this, I, like many alcoholics have been through hell and back. Those who know my story know how bad it got. Bottom line, while drinking I almost lost my house, I did lose my business and darn near lost my marriage. I got sober, got a new house, new vehicles and a new life . My wife does not come home disgusted with me anymore. I share this only to let people who are "lurking" realize that you can confront your demons and preserve your dignity. May not seem like it now, but sober up and things will change.
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary, 15 years. Both my wife and I had remained single through out 30's and did not have kids. God brought us together in 2002. I also turned 50 this year. These silly numbers have really affected me. I'm amazed that someone would tolerate me for 15 years, I'm also starting to think I'm "getting old". I burned through my first 49 years of life with no looking back, now I seem to care.
What I can say is this, I, like many alcoholics have been through hell and back. Those who know my story know how bad it got. Bottom line, while drinking I almost lost my house, I did lose my business and darn near lost my marriage. I got sober, got a new house, new vehicles and a new life . My wife does not come home disgusted with me anymore. I share this only to let people who are "lurking" realize that you can confront your demons and preserve your dignity. May not seem like it now, but sober up and things will change.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I'm sure your wife is super-proud of you and the strength and resilience you've continually shown.
Regarding the numbers, I had a dear friend who said to me that 40 was the big number for women, 50 for men. I think he was onto something there. It's the age when you realise you're not young anymore and the things you used to take for granted as a young person are not things you can rely on anymore. It becomes a time for finding substance in yourself when facing the challenges of the world.
I have evolved in my thinking about age. As a relatively fit person in my mid-40s, I think our views on ageing, mortality and longevity are due for a big disruption. Our society overly ties relevance to fertility and youthfulness. Once you're over 40, as a woman, you can no longer reproduce, are no longer marriageable, and therefore belong on the trash heap. As a man, that age is around 50. A man over 50 is supposedly less virile, less physically able and will have to give up his place to the next young alpha-male in line.
It's a load of codswallop. I think we need to retool our thinking so that we see our "young" fertile years as a time of development, a time to establish our character and our values. A time to build our resilience. Those who want to have children, well that's the time to have them.
In our 40s and 50s, we can begin to really contribute to society as we mature and become wiser. Our responsibility is to stay physically fit and healthy so that we can do this. Well into our 80s and 90s, we can remain relevant. In the coming generations, that age might well push beyond the 100s. We may well begin to develop a "third age" of a human's relevance in any given lifetime.
That's MissP's vision for the future.
Well done Jeff, and thanks for allowing me to yammer on.
Regarding the numbers, I had a dear friend who said to me that 40 was the big number for women, 50 for men. I think he was onto something there. It's the age when you realise you're not young anymore and the things you used to take for granted as a young person are not things you can rely on anymore. It becomes a time for finding substance in yourself when facing the challenges of the world.
I have evolved in my thinking about age. As a relatively fit person in my mid-40s, I think our views on ageing, mortality and longevity are due for a big disruption. Our society overly ties relevance to fertility and youthfulness. Once you're over 40, as a woman, you can no longer reproduce, are no longer marriageable, and therefore belong on the trash heap. As a man, that age is around 50. A man over 50 is supposedly less virile, less physically able and will have to give up his place to the next young alpha-male in line.
It's a load of codswallop. I think we need to retool our thinking so that we see our "young" fertile years as a time of development, a time to establish our character and our values. A time to build our resilience. Those who want to have children, well that's the time to have them.
In our 40s and 50s, we can begin to really contribute to society as we mature and become wiser. Our responsibility is to stay physically fit and healthy so that we can do this. Well into our 80s and 90s, we can remain relevant. In the coming generations, that age might well push beyond the 100s. We may well begin to develop a "third age" of a human's relevance in any given lifetime.
That's MissP's vision for the future.
Well done Jeff, and thanks for allowing me to yammer on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado 
I'm sure your wife is super-proud of you and the strength and resilience you've continually shown.
Regarding the numbers, I had a dear friend who said to me that 40 was the big number for women, 50 for men. I think he was onto something there. It's the age when you realise you're not young anymore and the things you used to take for granted as a young person are not things you can rely on anymore. It becomes a time for finding substance in yourself when facing the challenges of the world.
I have evolved in my thinking about age. As a relatively fit person in my mid-40s, I think our views on ageing, mortality and longevity are due for a big disruption. Our society overly ties relevance to fertility and youthfulness. Once you're over 40, as a woman, you can no longer reproduce, are no longer marriageable, and therefore belong on the trash heap. As a man, that age is around 50. A man over 50 is supposedly less virile, less physically able and will have to give up his place to the next young alpha-male in line.
It's a load of codswallop. I think we need to retool our thinking so that we see our "young" fertile years as a time of development, a time to establish our character and our values. A time to build our resilience. Those who want to have children, well that's the time to have them.
In our 40s and 50s, we can begin to really contribute to society as we mature and become wiser. Our responsibility is to stay physically fit and healthy so that we can do this. Well into our 80s and 90s, we can remain relevant. In the coming generations, that age might well push beyond the 100s. We may well begin to develop a "third age" of a human's relevance in any given lifetime.
That's MissP's vision for the future.
Well done Jeff, and thanks for allowing me to yammer on.
Regarding the numbers, I had a dear friend who said to me that 40 was the big number for women, 50 for men. I think he was onto something there. It's the age when you realise you're not young anymore and the things you used to take for granted as a young person are not things you can rely on anymore. It becomes a time for finding substance in yourself when facing the challenges of the world.
I have evolved in my thinking about age. As a relatively fit person in my mid-40s, I think our views on ageing, mortality and longevity are due for a big disruption. Our society overly ties relevance to fertility and youthfulness. Once you're over 40, as a woman, you can no longer reproduce, are no longer marriageable, and therefore belong on the trash heap. As a man, that age is around 50. A man over 50 is supposedly less virile, less physically able and will have to give up his place to the next young alpha-male in line.
It's a load of codswallop. I think we need to retool our thinking so that we see our "young" fertile years as a time of development, a time to establish our character and our values. A time to build our resilience. Those who want to have children, well that's the time to have them.
In our 40s and 50s, we can begin to really contribute to society as we mature and become wiser. Our responsibility is to stay physically fit and healthy so that we can do this. Well into our 80s and 90s, we can remain relevant. In the coming generations, that age might well push beyond the 100s. We may well begin to develop a "third age" of a human's relevance in any given lifetime.
That's MissP's vision for the future.
Well done Jeff, and thanks for allowing me to yammer on.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
Congratulations on your anniversary. I too just turned 50 this month and have been having a lot of anxiety and thoughts about getting old . I have enjoyed reading your posts and you have inspired me to keep on trying. Currently 2 weeks sober . Thanks 🙏
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
