Hollydoll

Hi there
I fell of the wagon last Sunday I ended up drinking for 24 hours binge. It was lager but I’m so disappointed that I drank such a dangerous amount. I think I’m still in denial.

There’s a carnival in my town tomorrow and my mum wants to go with me. I hardly go out at the moment because of anxiety. If I went I would drink lager but I know it would probably end up being a binge. I’m feeling so depressed at the moment.



I’ll feel like I’m missing out and I’m already feeling depressed. I’m aiming to stay sober for a month but it’s so hard .

Dee74

not if you feel that you'll drink, Holly.

have you thought any on how you might make a stronger plan to stay sober?

D

Hollydoll

I want to be able to drink normally in the future but maybe I’ll never be able to . It’s hard because I’m young and I see people my age drinking normally. X

doggonecarl

If was going out with your mom that led to the binge. Best tell your mom that you aren't going.

Does she know you are trying to get sober?

I know it feels like you are missing out, but it isn't forever. Once you are sober, you'll be able to go to carnival and other activities without fear of drinking. But not at the beginning. Not when you know you will probably drink.

Hollydoll

Yeah she knows how bad I’ve been with the drink and vodka. She is a bit selfish in that she’ll take me to a pub and expect me not to drink because “if she can go without drink then so can I “ but my anxiety is much worse than hers

tomsteve

if you could drink normally, do you think you would have been able to accomplish that already?
it can be quite an obsession of abnormal drinkers.- to control and enjoy drinking. its an illusion that many persue into the gates of insanity or death.
i started drinking at about 13. i tried many different things to control my drinking. 23 years worth of it. everything in my life got worse- to the point i didnt have a life, i was just existing.
sober now 13+ years, i am no longer existing- im living. i found new ways to enjoy life without alcohol.
you see young people drinking, but im certain not ALL young people are drinking- just the ones youre focusing on.

if you truly want to stop drinking, it would be wise to make that your #1 priority and stay away from temptation.

entropy1964

Its hard. I don't know how old you are but maybe Mom needs to find some friends her own age she can go to the pub with.

Acceptance that I cannot drink without huge negative consequences was really hard and it took a long time. I tried to prove to myself again and again that I could drink...not even normally really, because I knew that wasn't the case. But that I could somehow 'get back to' some previous time in my drinking history when alcohol worked. That never happened. And the addiction gets more powerful, and the consequences more grave. Truly. Surrender that I had lost this fight was essential.

You don't have to be like me. You can choose to take very seriously all the posts of destruction you read here. But we all have our own path. Quitting requires accepting the reality that alcoholism doesn't get better by drinking more.

Dee74

Yeah I wanted that too Holly.

One day I woke up and I was nearly 40 and all my former drinking mates had outgrown the BS and I was partying with kids half my age.

Not a good look or a good place to be,

I finally accepted that I could not 'drink normally' I had two speeds - 'off' and 'crazy amounts of consumption '.

I went with 'off' and have never regretted it.

D

AnvilheadII

you do have the power to say NO. to anyone. including your mom.
it's just a carnival......you can NOT go and be totally ok.
if your mom doesn't seem to "get" that you are trying to not drink at all, that's ok. SHE is not in charge of your sobriety.....YOU are.

Sobriety2018

Yes Holly I think we all want that..i.planned on trying to quit for 3 months to prove to myself that i could..then my goal was 6 months..now im almost to 8 months..and after dealing with the withdrawls and now where im at now..i realize drinking isnt an option for me..
Towards the end, i didnt drink everyday...and sometimes id limit.it to 5 drinks..and i was proud about that..but gosh 5 drinks for a female is more than whats healthy for a week! In my mind, id justify..i wasnt drinking half a handle of vodka like i used to or really not much hard liquor..but still..when i was in my 20s and had to go to AA meetings bc i got.a DWI, id go..then go home and drink..i.couldnt understand what people did if they didnt drink for fun!
I hope for you, that you get to a point that you realize, if you really have a problem and only you can acknowledge that...you cant drink like everyone else! I know i could never have 1 drink and be satisfied...thats maybe a good question to ask yourself. Can you be satisfied with just 1 drink?