Boozing too much
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1
Boozing too much
Ive Always been a drinker , but mainly been able to control it .. just weekends .. however Ive hit a wall in life recently and cant look forward so am secretly drinking , I need some advice here .. I lost my father 18 months ago and feel trapped in my marriage
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Welcome Rambler. Bereavement and relationship problems are not symptoms of alcoholism and need to be dealt with seperately. Perhaps a relationship or bereavement counsellor would be a good place to start. I found them really great when I lost my wife.
The secret drinking could be a sign of a more serious drinking problem, but I have also seen cases where bereaved folks turn to alcohol in the absence of any other solution . It was always a very common thing - get a shock, have a brandy. My ex girlfriend's mother was drunk for three days when she found out we had got engaged.Then she returned to her normal state.
Self medicating is a term sometimes used. A friend of mine did that when she lost her partner. Got drunk, crashed her car and got a DUI. Went to AA for a short time then came to terms with her grief. She was not alcoholic and now is sucessfully a social drinker, though she rarely drinks and only in small quantities.
Read around a bit including the friends and family forums and see what makes sense.
The secret drinking could be a sign of a more serious drinking problem, but I have also seen cases where bereaved folks turn to alcohol in the absence of any other solution . It was always a very common thing - get a shock, have a brandy. My ex girlfriend's mother was drunk for three days when she found out we had got engaged.Then she returned to her normal state.
Self medicating is a term sometimes used. A friend of mine did that when she lost her partner. Got drunk, crashed her car and got a DUI. Went to AA for a short time then came to terms with her grief. She was not alcoholic and now is sucessfully a social drinker, though she rarely drinks and only in small quantities.
Read around a bit including the friends and family forums and see what makes sense.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Drinking for me started as a way to lower inhibitions and feel part of. That (de)evolved into a coping mechanism for life's problems - and High Times.
When I began to understand that alcohol wasn't my problem but my solution, it was an ahh ha moment of sorts. I had to find different solutions. It is said and my experience bares witness to crossing that invisible line into alcoholism. There was no going back, though I tried and tried to slow down - moderate, etc.
Life is full of problems, it's the human experience. I learned from others that there was no problem that a drink would make better. I had to find some emotional sobriety which could only occur for me by not drinking.
Welcome
When I began to understand that alcohol wasn't my problem but my solution, it was an ahh ha moment of sorts. I had to find different solutions. It is said and my experience bares witness to crossing that invisible line into alcoholism. There was no going back, though I tried and tried to slow down - moderate, etc.
Life is full of problems, it's the human experience. I learned from others that there was no problem that a drink would make better. I had to find some emotional sobriety which could only occur for me by not drinking.
Welcome
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