Nonsensical

I used to hold myself to a different standard than the rest of humanity and then drink to ease the pain of not living up to my expectations. It was a vicious, unhealthy, unproductive cycle.

There's a different way. I believe it's a better way. I hope you find it.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

Caralara144

It sounds like paronia and god have I not been there ...it's totally horrible ..but the more you think about this the bigger it gets in your MIND ...
I know it's ok talking but personally if I were you I'd fence it off ...
We've all said an done horrible things while drunk ..I was a nasty bxxxh ...In real life I'm a really nice good girl ..
Be kind to your self ...
Let it remind you what the poison really does
Big hugs xxx

Lascaux

needtostop87, hope you're hanging in there. I read your post and it sounds like there's a lot of uncertainty in your story as to what really happened. If the woman was a stranger and you don't have the option of getting the true story from her, then just take it as a warning and use it to strengthen your resolve to build a better life. Don't despise yourself for something you aren't even sure happened, you're just spending energy that you could use better. If it did happen then tell yourself "boy, that past version of me was a mess, glad I'm not that any more". And stay in touch with us!

Highercall

Hi

I really tend to doubt that you actually did assault anyone as I am sure had you done so you would have known by now.

What is more likely is that your heightened state of anxiety and Deppression is down to alcohol withdrawal. The next day anxiety is very unpleasant but if you can make it through the a couple of days sober then you will start to feel a lot better.

Try going to the doctor and ask for a sedative.

Unless someone can prove to you that you did assault a woman then just assume that it did not happen and move on👍🏻

Dee74

Hi needtostop

Nearly a year is a long time to beat yourself up, assuming this thing happened.

I did many many things I'm not proud of as drinker....from the perspective of being a long time sober now, I know I would never do any of those things now.

I have been restored to my right mind.

That doesn;t mean I duck responsibility for what I've done in the past but I've come to feel that beating myself up for too long can be a little self indulgent.

Instead, I make my life a kind of living amends. I take that beating myself up energy and use it to help others.

I try to do good, to even up the ledger - its the best any of us can do

D

Dee74

Please remember no medical recommendations or medical advice thanks. Personal experience only.

Dee
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