Gerard52

Venomrulz, is there any AA meetings in your area. I find these really help particularly in early days where I am now. Good luck and keep posting.

venomrulz

There is one and I know the place but I can't go there. Doctors in India have a reputation and can't be seen in De-addiction centers, people consider alcoholism as a bad thing and it can be bad for my professional credibility. That is why I am doing away with this on my own. And I feel pretty great, I haven't had any symptoms too. The urge does come back in the evening but instead of discussing or arguing, I merely push the thought away and it fails to build momentum.

What I have found, is that earlier when I drank for 3 years, my brain started a campaign every evening around 4 PM giving me reasons and asking me questions about why not to drink. I used to indulge in answering arguing discussing, and basically gave an audience to my drunkard brain. That always went against me, I ended up getting convinced to drink just one more time.

Now I dont discuss, I dont let it present arguments, I push the thought away because when you dont argue with someone, you virtually take control.

And alcoholic brain is like an idiot. There is a quote about such idiots.
Don't argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. This is what happened with me everyday. Now I dont allow it to discuss or argue and it fails to build a campaign. When I pass a wine shop, I see daily labourers there drinking like I used to and I feel pity for them, because their brain has dragged them to this shop with some excuse and they allowed the argument and discussion and lost it. I know if I can push the discussion away and take control, so can these people. But they wont until they decide to.

Edit: Today is my 15th day. That's half a month. I feel the best.

soberlicious

Absolute truth! Well done!

Dee74

congratulations venomrulz
D

venomrulz

I forgot to post here for a few days. I have not taken even a drop of alcohol for 23 days now. I joined gym 4 days back and cheated with pizza today. I am very happy. And I dont feel any urge to drink. My parents are out of town and I even tried asking myself if myself wanted a drink since my parents are gone and no one would know. And there came a resounding "NO" as a reply. So I got so happy, and bought ice cream today. I want to tell anyone who is struggling with this scary monster called alcohol, if I can do it, you can too.

23rd day done for me

venomrulz

31 days and still counting. I can't believe one whole month is over and I haven't even felt the need for a drink. I now sleep late, watch movies listen to songs, eat roasted chicken breast, watch news talk to my friends and the best part is I sleep in peace.

Now I feel I should have quit early but nevertheless better late than never. Whenever my brain every few days ever mentions drinking, lke yesterday on 30th day, my brain asked for celebration with alcohol and i started laughing, whenever alcohol is mentioned, there erupts laughter in my head and I get into a very good mood thinking how I have had almost no withdrawal symptoms.

I don't plan on drinking even socially now. Even weekends are a no go for me. Knowing myself I feel if I ever drink even a drop of it, I would relapse completely.

But for now I am completely out of this messy habit that was tearing me and my liver down. And I am working out now so that's an added bonus.

Please always keep hope fellow alcoholics because the worst thing that could happen to you, will happen when you loose hope. Wake up every morning telling yourself how you will not drink tonight. But don't push it too much because your brain will start seeking a conversation with you and then it will drag you to wine shop. Keep strong you will get there. I did and you will too.

I think now I can start reading other threads and help others. Because I don't feel helpless anymore. Good luck!

Dee74

Congrats on 31 days VR

D

Numblady

Awesome updates! Way to go!

venomrulz

okay so its been 45 days now i dont drink anymore. i go to gym and eat good food, and i have been wondering, can people like me think about drinking moderately? i mean i know people drink once every few days, or at events. can i do that too? or will i have to stay away from alcohol forever?

Meraviglioso

Congratulations on 45 days!!!!

To answer your question...... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No no and no!

Don't even think about it. Once you cross the threshold into alcoholic drinking there is no going back. If you take a drink you will eventually end right back where you left off.

That's a hard thing to wrap one's mind around and at first seems really annoying and disappointing. But I think the more sober time you get the more you will appreciate how good yo feel without alcohol and realise there really is no reason to go back to it.

Keep up the great work!

iwilltryagain

Congrats!! on 45 days...your body slowly recovers.

If you go back to drinking one drop or in moderation...you will spiral down and land-up where you were....Remember, for some of us there is no off switch, we don't know when to stop...

Stay strong, Stay adamant, Stay focused...Think about other things - career progression, health, Gym etc..keep your mind on these things...Drinking is not your life.

wpainterw

I agree with you Mera. And I'd like to add that once you "reward" yourself with "just a little drink" the relapse will be stronger than the previous one. The illness of alcoholic dependency never stops. I have around 30 years of sobriety and have absolutely no cravings for alcohol. Never even think about it. But if I started drinking again my relapse would be a real man killer, much worse than before!

W.

August252015

No. You can't drink.

Your question is so common and it leads so many alcoholics to drinking again! Lots of times I reread old posts for reminders- just what you have done to get better all around in this month and a half is terrific! Do you want to lose that?

That is what happens when alcoholics start drinking again, in every case I have heard of or seen... and I have to gently say (this time v above bluntness) that you are still so early in sobriety. I can promise you that if you stay sober your perspective on your new life will keep evolving and getting better - it takes some time.

Plenty of people frame it as a ... "middle distance" thing- Dee posted a great thread about this yesterday or Friday. Sometimes we do need to think Just For Today especially in early sobriety. Sometimes we can look at a middle distance- so not the huge concept of forever, but increments of time ahead. Such as, for you, what will my life be like by the holiday season when I am four (five?) months sober? What does that look like? In my experience, pretty swell.

Are you thinking of working any kind of program? I strongly suggest it. Whether it is structured around SR, online AA meetings or other resources, the people who seem to do the best at living in rcovery have alcohol-specific support, in addition to choosing better lifestyle habits and such like you are doing already.

Keep going.

venomrulz

Well to be honest the day I decided to stop, I didn't feel the need to even go to a wine shop. I stopped weed hemp and alcohol (at separate times) abruptly. I never needed to prevent myself or stop myself forcefully from going to drink. I feel very strong urges to eat in restaurants though, to eat chocolates and ice creams or junk food but the gym I started, that prevents me from enjoying food also.

And I dont want to drink madly like I used to for 3 years. I just feel I could maybe once in a while drink socially with friends or acquaintances. Like when I get married and I go to my teacher (who trained me in dentistry) to invite him, and since he drinks moderately, if he asks me for a drink, will I say "I am diseased so I can't drink" ? Because I am not diseased. I dont take any medications for alcohol prevention or for liver or kidney problems. I am perfectly fit maybe with a minutely damaged liver which is healing already. I don't want to feel like a mad loner when my friends drink occasionally.

No I have never believed in any programs and absolutely detest AA things. I know people have benefitted from those programs but I have always felt that my will is too strong to need any outside help. I never even consulted doctors before quitting cold turkey. And I don't need to. I stay away from such things its really just shifting dependency from alcohol to AA programs which I don't think can help me at all (since I don't need any help as far as quitting addictions is concerned). I feel perfectly happy and love being sober but a drink or two with friends can really be so bad?

Dee74

That's a *perfect* example of why will power didn't do it for me.

Part of my strong will wanted to drink - I wanted to control my drinking (actually what I wanted was to drink as much as I wanted and not have negative consequences, but thats another thread )

Acceptance was key for me - accepting that I actually had no control over my drinking - accepting that every time I drank I could never be sure whether I would leave it at a few drinks or not.

In the end I accepted my relationship with alcohol was toxic and always would be.

You don't sound markedly different to me - my addicted self kept me drinking through vague ideas of a drink every so often.

If that was my drinking pattern I wouldn't be here on SR and neither would you VR.

I confused abstinence for control so many times.

Some things it's ok to walk away from.

I'm trying not to come across all wise old Sensei here but man...

I gained so much by letting people in to help me. I learned what true strength is.

I really hope you'll come to experience that too

annnd...I wish I'd seen a dr.

I detoxed hundreds of items with no ill effect but the last time I suffered several mini strokes. I'll never be the same again. I'm a 50- year old in an 80 yo body.

Sure it probably won't happen to you....but I said that too.

Still, there's no reason you should ever have to detox again if you accept this truth now:

Its the first drink that gets us, not the last.

don't take that fIrst drink and you'll be amazed where your life can take you VR

D

venomrulz

Literally I can't find anything in your post to argue upon. You almost touched all the right things in one post except one (but that is a very minor inconsequential difference). My vague ideas never asked me for one drink, they always asked me for one day of my usual mad drinking. Although that is in the past now 52 days old thing for me.

About the letting people help part. Well I would ask help but people often become too condescending and patronizing I feel like slicing them up with a knife. So I let my own brain take the decisions. Then again maybe I am young so the arrogance speaks for me rather than wisdom which speaks for you.

I think I have quit but still whenever I have any such weird questions, I do and will always turn to this forum where I think I get saner advice than all the stupid people around me. I literally had a 70 year old patient (does two drinks every night since 50 years) telling me I should not quit and that 45 minutes of walk in morning and evening will keep my body safe from ill effects of alcohol. It's the first time an old man was telling me to keep drinking like some crazy alcoholic, the world is full of mad people I tell you

Dee74

I hope not to be counted among the condescending or patronising

I have a real and genuine desire to share my experience to try and help others not make the mistakes I did, but I'm under no illusions as to the power of my rhetoric...sometimes it helps, sometimes not.

I don't doubt that but you said above

only you know based on precedent & self knowledge which one of those two outcomes is more likely.

D

Arpeggioh

I really hope you don't let anyone convince you that "a drink" is okay once in a while. I can't state this strongly enough: "a drink" will lead to more drinking, as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow. So many of us here have tried -- it unlocks something in our brains that reignites the craving phenomenon. It may not happen immediately, but if it's okay once, then it becomes okay another time, and some people never make it back from the place where that leads.

Your two months sober is a gift you've given yourself; protect it like your life depends on it! Literally, it does.

(I'm glad you recognize that you'll only get good advice from this forum; don't listen to amateurs, trust the professionals! Stay close, stay sober...)