DJ1986

And now I’m drinking. What a relief.

DJ1986

And now drinking to oblivion.

DJ1986

Feels good- none of you give a **** do you?

2ndhandrose

I am not sure what happened between your positive first post in this thread and now?

I care.

babycat

Of course we care. I am a couple years older than you and I would say I have drank more given the amounts you told. I was recently hospitalized and was given a clean bill of health, physically. Mentally not so much. Every person is different, but I am just saying, you are more then likely still fine. Hugs. This disease is the worst.

Free2bme888

How are you DJ?

Steely

Blood in urine sample does not mean you are dying. Happens a lot...often uti. No biggie, antibiotics fix it.

Alcohol definitely will not.

And now you are are angry with people who do care.

Instead of catastrophising and looking for worst case scenarios, look for best case and put down the grog. It's the one thing that really does work, even if we do have to go to doctor from time to time.

Your situation is not unique.

Surrendered19

Looks like Free bumped into an old thread???

But I hope you are still with us DJ!!!

Hodd

Old thread, but I remember also being scared to go to the GP. It’s probably very common with heavy drinkers. The irony is when I had a medical due, I’d go easy on the booze a week before, get normal test results* and see it as a green light to carry on. When I finally went to the GP to ‘fess up that I was a drinker and wanted to stop, they were super helpful.

* Standard medical tests, even if they included liver function blood tests, aren’t that helpful for drinkers. They’ll only start showing abnormalities if things are serious, possibly too late. GPs are happy to see anyone being proactive about their health.

DJ1986

Hi all,

yes, still here and in a much better place with my drinking - thank you for asking. And so so sorry for being so rude to everyone a few years back.

Still not cracked it, but have reduced number of days I’ve drunk each year since my original post (down to a few times a month).

I know it’s mad, but I’ve still not fully committed to trying to never drink again 😩. Not drinking in Jan and will then reassess after that, perhaps I will give it a go as I know it’s the only real solution.

Not posted for ages, but still an avid reader and have found everyone’s posts very helpful. Thank you. And happy new year! 😊

Surrendered19

2022 is your year DJ!!! I can feel it!!! I'm glad you are still around and reading.

Free2bme888

Thanks for checking in, DJ, and your honesty. I saw the ‘green light’ on when I was reading your old thread the other day and was thrilled you were somewhere here on SR and took the chance to reach out to you right away.

Welcome back. We are here for you…..❤️🤓

Dee74

Glad you made it back DJ but in all honesty I hope you change your mind about not wanting to quit completely.
I wasted so many years chasing that stupid dream when I know now I was never built to drink.

I'm so much happier sober, in every way.

D

DJ1986

Thank you all for replying. You’re all so very kind!

I hope I change my mind too Dee, I honestly do! I just can’t seem to accept it fully in my head that that’s the best way forward 😩.

I can accept that I would probably be happier, more successful, healthier etc. But for some reason, I don’t want to make that jump. It’s all very strange.

DJ1986

Just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on how to make that jump from knowing you would be better off not drinking to actually doing it?

Grateful for any thoughts or advice. Thank you.

biminiblue

Here's my take on it:

I didn't understand the benefits at first. It took a good year for me to be comfortable in my own skin after years of drinking. The first few months were so hard and I keep that in the forefront of my mind at all times.

I don't think you can use a crystal ball on this. It takes doing it to understand all the positive implications and the actual peace that comes with sobriety.

People often say in life that they have to see something to believe it. I find I have to believe it to see it.

Dee74

It’s a leap of faith, but an informed one.
Look around at all the people here who’ve made the leap, for the better

Its scary and it may be rough for a little while but it’s worth it.
On the other hand, continuing to drink is a guaranteed downward trajectory.

D

Free2bme888

I’ve been reading a lot of long timer blogs/posts. Most didn’t know how to do it, or how it would pan out.

For me, I did have a sober stint in 2018, about 14 months. It felt good to not be thinking about drinking all the time in the end of that stint. I went back because I thought I could moderate, I really did. I wanted to believe I had cured myself with prolonged abstinence. Boy, was I wrong! I had confused abstinence with control.

You will see that same theme across all the people who have relapsed.

The other thing, is fading affect bias, whereby we look back with rose colored glasses, and believe all the marketing malarkey about ‘needing’ the stuff to relax, enjoy life, be sexy, etc.

Maybe 30 years ago, my drinking was fun. I drank in a fun way, could take it or leave it.

At the end here, I was NOT good. Sneaking, feeling sick, it was toxic to me physically (nausea, headache, deep visceral aches of imagined or real scary damage, horrible sleep, no energy), mentally (should I have that drink? Yes! No! Yes! No! (The fence posts were poking my mental health terribly, so sitting on the fence in itself was torture-I want it, it’s killing me, but I NEED it, no, I don’t need it, etc), and most of all, spiritually (knowing what I was seeking was not found in the bottle, OMG, I couldn’t drown my demons, they swim, and swim well—and not providing myself the love I was seeking, the little girl who was abused, who So needed that hole deep inside filled, and realizing I was creating a larger abyss between my peace and my hell).

I wish you peace and resolve ❤️🤓

Free2bme888

There is a book, called Alcohol Explained, which has helped hundreds of thousands. It’s a pretty easy read, not too technical, but not as simple as Allen Carr’s The Easy Way to Quit Drinking.

You can you tube AA speakers, you can google AVRT, you can you tube Rain in My Heart, 10 ten minute parts of a documentary filming alcoholics (very powerful), you can look at the My Story threads here, the possibilities to explore to retrain your brain, to enter knowledge and truth in your mind rather than delusions and marketing lies.

AL48

Hi DJ i eventually managed to stop after i conquered the FEAR. I tried to cut down and moderate like we all do but It never worked for me, i ended up as bad as ever after a few months.
I don't know how but one Sunday after downing wine and vodka all day i said enough and i stopped.
I think if its on your mind to stop I'd say you've answered your own question. Good luck DJ and happy new year.