lessgravity

As a drunk I lived in a permanent state of "tomorrow I will ______ ." No matter the retching vomit in the office bathroom after a meeting, regardless of the shame and pain, fights, embarrassments, fear - I would tell myself at some point during the day, I'll just have another night of drinking tonight, tomorrow I'll get sober.

Even in the 3am bouts of pure, unadulterated, panic-laced anxiety I told myself, tomorrow is the day.

What I didn't acknowledge is the logical impossibility of tomorrow. It never came. It never comes. It is always today. I can only work with today, I can only be here today, I can only choose not to drink today.

Finally, I'm here today, sober as a bird.

brighterday1234

Great post. All we have is a present moment. Being able to get in touch and really live in the present is a really healthy tool that I use in my recovery. It’s also when I feel most spiritual, connected and at peace.

Be123

Thanks for this. I’m in the opposite position - today I am not drunk and not going to drink alcohol. But I’m terrified tomorrow I’ll mess it all up. As someone new to sobriety tomorrow hangs over me scaring the living **** out of me.

I need to learn this but that it is easier said than done. Practice I guess?

MLD51

Practice and time, Ben. The more tomorrows you make it through without messing up, the less fear you will have. My favorite phrase in early sobriety was "Just for today." It means I don't even have to think about tomorrow. Tomorrow will turn into another today. All I need to do is stay sober today. Simple! (I didn't say easy, I said simple)

lessgravity

I know that fear and worry as well. To be honest I came to see the fear of drinking tomorrow as my AV speaking to me - if I made myself worried enough, I could convince myself "Oh I'm just going to mess this up tomorrow, might as well drink today..." It's a dangerous and devious demon the AV.

And yes, it truly gets easier. Though it takes work. Even better, life is so much better sober. Keep it moving!

Be123

Thanks, yes it’s an arse alright this voice, I’m doing everything I can from advice on here but it finds a sneaky way of coming round the wall! So today was ok - so it made me think tomorrow wouldn’t be. Ridiculous I know

lessgravity

Honestly that's not ridiculous. I know that exact line of thinking. That voices gets quieter and quieter with time.

Ladysadie

Thanks again for your post Less, you continue to offer snippets of wisdom and help to build others up. You're becoming something of a "Mr Miyagi".

gettingsmarter

I drank just 1 last time thousands of times.

gettingsmarter

Thanks for the post.

thomas11

So true. how many times have I said steadfastly in the morning that today is the day I quit, only to end up drinking by about 5pm that same day. And I will say to this day that the first 2-3-4 months is very hard.

Rar

Indeed!

lessgravity

Really kind of both of you to say. I am so thankful to SR for being an essential part of me finally getting sober, and continuing to reflect and post and be an active member feels important to my sobriety. If my posts help anyone even in part of how I was helped by this site, then I feel very very grateful.