Going out tonight- how to have fun
 

Hi guys. I’m on day 44. I’m on vacation and going out with my husband and another couple.

I’m not too concerned about drinking. My husband knows my problem and is supporting me. I don’t have any urges or desire to be hungover I’d go back to day 1.

I’m not worried about people questioning me. I am DD, so I’ll just say that.

But I am worried I just won’t enjoy myself. The old me would love to get out, kids free and have some drinks. But have changed, a lot in the last 42 days.

I’ve been around people drinking casually. But haven’t gone out specifically to ‘get drinks.’

I already feel annoyed with the drunks. I feel jealous that I can’t drink normally. And I want to just stay home in my bed and relax.

I’m sure it will be fun, and I love spending time with hubby.

But any other suggestions for me to make this more positive- please.

It sounds like you have a good attitude. It's likely to feel a bit strange and different for you tonight. Change is part of early recovery and it's something many of us resist. You sound like you have support for tonight, so that's good.

I hear ya on this one. My hubby and I have a lot of drinking buddies and they have a lot of parties. We’ve still been going out and I was worried at first as well. I have myself license to take breaks - pretty much long and frequent bathroom breaks, just to give myself a minute. I also had an escape plan lined up. As soon as I told hubby that I was ready to leave, he got right up and off we went. That was helpful for me to get through socializing.

Don't be embarrassed if it gets to be too much and you have to leave. Just go.

If not, it's just hanging out with friends. It did take me a while to be able to go into a bar with friends for a drink and have something non-alcoholic. I've grown fond of ginger beer. But now I barely give it a second thought.

Sorry I don't have any advice, but I can assure you the way you feel is pretty normal. It should get better with time.

I also think it would be OK if you find out that's not your favorite activity and you don't want to do it as much anymore. I'm lucky my wife and friends aren't big drinkers anymore. We just do different activities now that aren't so centered on alcohol. Regarding the jealousy. I always remind myself I "don't" want to drink, not that I "can't" drink.

I found it took a little time to recalibrate how to have fun sober, but after a little while you'll realise that you used to have fun without drinking :)

I never even notice the drinkers anymore.

Having said that, an evening specifically to 'get drinks' might not be much fun for you.

Have an escape plan drawn up and ready.

D