Hesitant about meetings
 

I'm serious about my recovery this time, I didn't pick up any beer last night and this is my second day without alcohol. Now I'm making an action plan. I want to go to meetings but I am not sure about the characters I might meet there. I have also quit having sociopaths in my life and these meetings attract all kinds from prison etc. Most psychopaths are drug addicts or alcoholics. I have a history of dating toxic men and I wonder if going to meetings will put me at risk, and what are my other options besides meetings?

The people at meetings will be just like you - looking to get sober. Just like the people here on SR. Your fear is common but unnecessary and unfounded. If you are truly serious about recovery you can’t let things like this get in the way. Call ahead, someone can meet you outside or even give you a ride.

I'm not an AA guy but I found that the meetings are generally populated by the kindest, most welcoming, empathetic people I've come across in a group setting.

Right but somehow I always attract the craziest ones and they're persistent

I'm sure there are some people in meetings with prior jail time,but I've never met one. As for dating or fear of dating toxic people..that's up to you to not do. I don't really see how that plays a role in your decision to attend a meeting? I don't and would never date someone from a meeting. I'm not there for that.

I'm thinking about my past experiences but I was in a different state of mind then. I'll have to make it clear I'm not interested

People get court orders to attend meetings

yes, you will meet some folks like that. and many many others.
the risk of meeting toxic men there...well yes, there will be some, but then, there are some everywhere, and closing yourself off from help or other life situations because of that isn't feasible or useful unless you want to be isolated.
do you have the option of women's meetings where you are?
the majority of people in any meeting are people like you and me, there because they want to get or stay sober and be of use to others.

then use it as an opportunity to change how you respond to that.

if you get harassed, that is a different matter than if you choose to date.

I was one of those people and I'm only partially crazy. :lmao

I will see what it's like

Statistics say at least 90% of psychopaths are drug addicts or alcoholics so the odds are pretty high of running into them in that community

"According to researchers at Marquette University, fully 90 percent of all people with ASPD abuse drugs or alcohol. Whether officially diagnosed or not, as many as 40 to 50 percent of all people in substance abuse treatment programs have enough ASPD symptoms to verify an antisocial personality diagnosis. The simultaneous presence of substance abuse and ASPD is known as comorbidity. This term refers to the presence of two or more health conditions, as well as interactions between those conditions that change or intensify their effects on the body. In the case of drug and alcohol abuse, people who also have antisocial personality disorder tend to start abusing their substance of choice at an earlier age than people who don’t have the disorder. In addition, substance abusers with ASPD develop serious abuse-related problems faster than abusers without ASPD; they also develop more damaging forms of these problems."

I'm not sure that statistic is at all accurate, and even if it were, I would think most of the bad guys would stay a mile away from AA. In my experience, I've never once encountered a man at a meeting I found threatening. Pick those with steady members - early morning is great for that. If anyone gets out of line, I've no doubt the elder men handle it.

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You can find info on the internet saying the earth is flat, too.


Either go or don't.

If you don't go, how will you know? There are people who aren't quite right nearly everywhere. Any street, USA.

I never had anyone be more than just passingly creepy. I didn't ever feel unsafe in a meeting, but then I went to a lot of womens' meetings and almost exclusively in the daytime.

But then, I have very good boundaries with people I don't know.

They do end up there when it's court ordered or they Looking for prey

So you're worried about getting a stalker or two?

I guess it's more about not wanting to be around drug addicts. I've been trying to avoid them for so long

I might have one right now, not sure if he's given up

If you want to avoid drug addicts, stop scoring drugs. You made a post very recently about copping drugs. That will inherently be a worse atmosphere than an AA meeting, I think.