Hesitant about meetings
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by Laura3 
Ok, I'm taking a break from people for now, I'm only getting conflict. I will be back when I have a better recovery plan.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but you might benefit from spending more of your time focusing on why you end up in these situations. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you have been, but you don't have any control over others' behaviors, only yours. Maybe a question you should ask yourself is why is this happening to you? People like the one's you have described are usually drawn to people they think they can take advantage of. Just something to think about. John
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
oh dear...but this is not the time for recovery, you think, when you are going around hitting a lot of people and clearly out of control? (and no, i am not saying sexual assault is okay)
when would be a good time for recovery if not now??
when would be a good time for recovery if not now??
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by fini
oh dear...but this is not the time for recovery, you think, when you are going around hitting a lot of people and clearly out of control? (and no, i am not saying sexual assault is okay)
when would be a good time for recovery if not now??
when would be a good time for recovery if not now??
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 199
Originally Posted by Laura3
For now I've given up on recovery. It only lasts a couple of days and it's more miserable going through this routine all the time than to quit drinking. Maybe one day I will find a solution.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Laura3
For now I've given up on recovery. It only lasts a couple of days and it's more miserable going through this routine all the time than to quit drinking. Maybe one day I will find a solution.
Come back and check in with us sometime. You'll find the misery it might take to get sober is worth it.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by Laura3
I could try a meeting. I could tell the people there my dilemma. Maybe someone would offer to help me get to meetings through the week
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
This thread makes me so sad.
A woman's greatest asset is an education. That doesn't mean a formal alphabet after her name, it means owning herself and knowing herself, educating herself on who she is and why she does what she does.
I didn't do AA - I read the book, the dogma and chauvinism I perceived, didn't sit well with me. I did on-line and face to face meetings and my take away was, this is not for me. However there were very valuable points and methodology that I could employ in my sobriety journey.
I didn't post on SR until I had a month clean under my belt, I spent the first month learning all I could, understanding the disease, looking for people in my life, who had what I wanted. I ordered my big book from Amazon, I accessed studies through the University database, I got that first month under my belt, while running 2 companies, a nonprofit and taxiing around 3 kids. I didn't have support, I didn't ask for it either.
Sobriety has been the greatest gift I have given myself. It has been freeing, my life continues to improve. You cannot achieve it leaning on someone else, humans are fallible, your future rests on your own shoulders, you are the only one who can make a change and you are the only one who can open yourself up to a life in sobriety.
I paid $250 a session for 5 sessions of hypnosis to manage the pain of my osteoarthritis. The relief didn't come with the sessions at the doctors, it came at home, when I replay the tapes, when I learned the art of self hypnosis. I am 42, I stand over 6ft tall, and I wore heels every day for almost 20 years, I played sports, I have done irreparable damage to my joints, my children were 10lbs when they were born, my hips have never healed and during my last pregnancy, the doctors tried to get me into a wheel chair, I walked into the delivery room in 4 inch heels. Very, very slowly.
My alcoholism has not helped, my recreational use of other drugs in my youth did not help. I have to take a strong stand on my health now, I need to educate myself, I need to be open. The exact same way, 9 months ago, I had to take a stand for my health and educate myself on my alcoholism.
You are not alone, you have people here, people who have been exactly where you are now. You also have a wealth of information at your finger tips on this board, please be open, educate yourself.
A woman's greatest asset is an education. That doesn't mean a formal alphabet after her name, it means owning herself and knowing herself, educating herself on who she is and why she does what she does.
I didn't do AA - I read the book, the dogma and chauvinism I perceived, didn't sit well with me. I did on-line and face to face meetings and my take away was, this is not for me. However there were very valuable points and methodology that I could employ in my sobriety journey.
I didn't post on SR until I had a month clean under my belt, I spent the first month learning all I could, understanding the disease, looking for people in my life, who had what I wanted. I ordered my big book from Amazon, I accessed studies through the University database, I got that first month under my belt, while running 2 companies, a nonprofit and taxiing around 3 kids. I didn't have support, I didn't ask for it either.
Sobriety has been the greatest gift I have given myself. It has been freeing, my life continues to improve. You cannot achieve it leaning on someone else, humans are fallible, your future rests on your own shoulders, you are the only one who can make a change and you are the only one who can open yourself up to a life in sobriety.
I paid $250 a session for 5 sessions of hypnosis to manage the pain of my osteoarthritis. The relief didn't come with the sessions at the doctors, it came at home, when I replay the tapes, when I learned the art of self hypnosis. I am 42, I stand over 6ft tall, and I wore heels every day for almost 20 years, I played sports, I have done irreparable damage to my joints, my children were 10lbs when they were born, my hips have never healed and during my last pregnancy, the doctors tried to get me into a wheel chair, I walked into the delivery room in 4 inch heels. Very, very slowly.
My alcoholism has not helped, my recreational use of other drugs in my youth did not help. I have to take a strong stand on my health now, I need to educate myself, I need to be open. The exact same way, 9 months ago, I had to take a stand for my health and educate myself on my alcoholism. You are not alone, you have people here, people who have been exactly where you are now. You also have a wealth of information at your finger tips on this board, please be open, educate yourself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by MyLittleHorsie
This thread makes me so sad.
A woman's greatest asset is an education. That doesn't mean a formal alphabet after her name, it means owning herself and knowing herself, educating herself on who she is and why she does what she does.
I didn't do AA - I read the book, the dogma and chauvinism I perceived, didn't sit well with me. I did on-line and face to face meetings and my take away was, this is not for me. However there were very valuable points and methodology that I could employ in my sobriety journey.
I didn't post on SR until I had a month clean under my belt, I spent the first month learning all I could, understanding the disease, looking for people in my life, who had what I wanted. I ordered my big book from Amazon, I accessed studies through the University database, I got that first month under my belt, while running 2 companies, a nonprofit and taxiing around 3 kids. I didn't have support, I didn't ask for it either.
Sobriety has been the greatest gift I have given myself. It has been freeing, my life continues to improve. You cannot achieve it leaning on someone else, humans are fallible, your future rests on your own shoulders, you are the only one who can make a change and you are the only one who can open yourself up to a life in sobriety.
I paid $250 a session for 5 sessions of hypnosis to manage the pain of my osteoarthritis. The relief didn't come with the sessions at the doctors, it came at home, when I replay the tapes, when I learned the art of self hypnosis. I am 42, I stand over 6ft tall, and I wore heels every day for almost 20 years, I played sports, I have done irreparable damage to my joints, my children were 10lbs when they were born, my hips have never healed and during my last pregnancy, the doctors tried to get me into a wheel chair, I walked into the delivery room in 4 inch heels. Very, very slowly. My alcoholism has not helped, my recreational use of other drugs in my youth did not help. I have to take a strong stand on my health now, I need to educate myself, I need to be open. The exact same way, 9 months ago, I had to take a stand for my health and educate myself on my alcoholism.
You are not alone, you have people here, people who have been exactly where you are now. You also have a wealth of information at your finger tips on this board, please be open, educate yourself.
A woman's greatest asset is an education. That doesn't mean a formal alphabet after her name, it means owning herself and knowing herself, educating herself on who she is and why she does what she does.
I didn't do AA - I read the book, the dogma and chauvinism I perceived, didn't sit well with me. I did on-line and face to face meetings and my take away was, this is not for me. However there were very valuable points and methodology that I could employ in my sobriety journey.
I didn't post on SR until I had a month clean under my belt, I spent the first month learning all I could, understanding the disease, looking for people in my life, who had what I wanted. I ordered my big book from Amazon, I accessed studies through the University database, I got that first month under my belt, while running 2 companies, a nonprofit and taxiing around 3 kids. I didn't have support, I didn't ask for it either.
Sobriety has been the greatest gift I have given myself. It has been freeing, my life continues to improve. You cannot achieve it leaning on someone else, humans are fallible, your future rests on your own shoulders, you are the only one who can make a change and you are the only one who can open yourself up to a life in sobriety.
I paid $250 a session for 5 sessions of hypnosis to manage the pain of my osteoarthritis. The relief didn't come with the sessions at the doctors, it came at home, when I replay the tapes, when I learned the art of self hypnosis. I am 42, I stand over 6ft tall, and I wore heels every day for almost 20 years, I played sports, I have done irreparable damage to my joints, my children were 10lbs when they were born, my hips have never healed and during my last pregnancy, the doctors tried to get me into a wheel chair, I walked into the delivery room in 4 inch heels. Very, very slowly.
My alcoholism has not helped, my recreational use of other drugs in my youth did not help. I have to take a strong stand on my health now, I need to educate myself, I need to be open. The exact same way, 9 months ago, I had to take a stand for my health and educate myself on my alcoholism. You are not alone, you have people here, people who have been exactly where you are now. You also have a wealth of information at your finger tips on this board, please be open, educate yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Originally Posted by Laura3
I just have to get through a week or two until the habit is broken. I'm not sure I agree with aa either but I'm at the point right now if I don't do something I will not stop.
When I quit smoking, I read something, anyone can do anything for a month. That was how I first quit smoking, I will quit for a month, that month became 9, then I lit up, then I started a few year roller coaster I am finally off!
I knew I could stop drinking for a month, I knew because I had done it before. So that was the first goal, then it was three, then six, then a year, now my goal is a decade. Based on the number of times I have been divorced
Forever isn't a concept I get. Go down to the secular connections part of this site, join in on the Women in Recovery section. It might not be one recovery method that works, but a combination of many.
And sweety, I say this as nicely as possible, stay the heck outta bars in small towns. A woman alone in a small town bar, those yokels will think you are the town bicycle and treat you that way. You are not, you matter, you have a mind and a voice. You deserve respect, but it gotta give it to yourself first.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
I can't depend on myself to stop on my own right now unfortunately. I'm like a kid with candy, I can't resist. I don't know about detox, I was kicked out of it a few years ago and it was in a different city. Meetings seem like the only solution but waiting a week for one doesn't work.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by MyLittleHorsie
For me, I have always been goal motivated. My husband hates New Years, LOL, it's the day we sit down and write our annual goals, revise the 5 year plan...
When I quit smoking, I read something, anyone can do anything for a month. That was how I first quit smoking, I will quit for a month, that month became 9, then I lit up, then I started a few year roller coaster I am finally off!
I knew I could stop drinking for a month, I knew because I had done it before. So that was the first goal, then it was three, then six, then a year, now my goal is a decade. Based on the number of times I have been divorced Forever isn't a concept I get.
Go down to the secular connections part of this site, join in on the Women in Recovery section. It might not be one recovery method that works, but a combination of many.
And sweety, I say this as nicely as possible, stay the heck outta bars in small towns. A woman alone in a small town bar, those yokels will think you are the town bicycle and treat you that way. You are not, you matter, you have a mind and a voice. You deserve respect, but it gotta give it to yourself first.
When I quit smoking, I read something, anyone can do anything for a month. That was how I first quit smoking, I will quit for a month, that month became 9, then I lit up, then I started a few year roller coaster I am finally off!
I knew I could stop drinking for a month, I knew because I had done it before. So that was the first goal, then it was three, then six, then a year, now my goal is a decade. Based on the number of times I have been divorced
Forever isn't a concept I get. Go down to the secular connections part of this site, join in on the Women in Recovery section. It might not be one recovery method that works, but a combination of many.
And sweety, I say this as nicely as possible, stay the heck outta bars in small towns. A woman alone in a small town bar, those yokels will think you are the town bicycle and treat you that way. You are not, you matter, you have a mind and a voice. You deserve respect, but it gotta give it to yourself first.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Laura3
You have a husband to be accountable to, I live alone and nobody is stoppingme from doingwhat I want.
The bottom line though is that quitting is a choice, and only you can make it. Meetings won't stop you from drinking if you don't really want to. Even detox and rehab won't if you aren't ready - plenty of people go to rehab and stop at the liquor store on their way home and start drinking again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
You are the only one that can hold yourself accountable and stop drinking Laura. You've been given a wealth of advice here and you seem to be ignoring most of it. That's common when we are actively drinking, so don't feel that it means you are unique in that respect. But realize that all of us have been exactly where you are so we know that change is possible. Even living alone - many have done it and so can you.
The bottom line though is that quitting is a choice, and only you can make it. Meetings won't stop you from drinking if you don't really want to. Even detox and rehab won't if you aren't ready - plenty of people go to rehab and stop at the liquor store on their way home and start drinking again.
The bottom line though is that quitting is a choice, and only you can make it. Meetings won't stop you from drinking if you don't really want to. Even detox and rehab won't if you aren't ready - plenty of people go to rehab and stop at the liquor store on their way home and start drinking again.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Originally Posted by Laura3
You have a husband to be accountable to, I live alone and nobody is stoppingme from doingwhat I want.
My husband is a horrible enabler. He didn't realise how bad my problem was, add in the 18 hour days, the Sunday afternoon phone calls that he's leaving in 2 hours for a week or two... We have an amazing marriage, it is getting better all the time, but I have more of a relationship with his voicemail than him at times. The man let me adopt a herd of Shetland ponies for no reason other than I felt we could give them a good home. Last night auto correct was almost on my side and I was happily headed to adopt a cross beak rooster until he figured out I was talking about a chicken. The no poultry rules stand ROFL.
If I got sober for him, I'd have never got sober. He thought I should just moderate and I'd be OK, or that I could just drink one or two on special occasions.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by Laura3
There wouldn't be rehab and meetings if everyone could stop on their own. I know what you mean that I have to make a choice but I am in too deep right now, my mind isn't thinking clearly. I can't make it past two days trying to do this on my own. How many people on here keep relapsing trying to do it on their own? I have made the choice, I'm just not sure how I'm going to accomplish it.
You say you've made a choice, but in the same post you say you aren't thinking clearly and can't make a choice. That's very true - we don't think clearly when we are actively drinking, because addiction is not logical. Arguing with people here isn't going to help you either, because we all know exactly what your side of the argument will say - because it's your addiction running the show. And we've been there.
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