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The time has come

Old 07-15-2018, 08:17 AM
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The time has come

A little about my past. I've been a every day beer drinker for the past 11 years or so. It was just a couple after work and about 8-15 on the weekends nights. I started drinking heavy every night about seven years ago. From the Time I got off work until the bar closed. That lasted about a year until I started missing work, luckily I was smart enough to stop that and kept my job. After that I kept it at 4-6 a night on work nights, and what ever on the weekends, probably around 12-15. Since then I've kinda of gone up and down on consumption amount. It gets away from me and I'd try to dial it back down to that 4-6 number on work days.
The past year has kind of gotten away from me. I split up with the mother of my child 15 months ago, I was with her for 10 years and she was cheating while I was out of town for work. So naturally that led to me having to do a bunch of other things like sell my house, sell alot of my stuff etc... I have social anxiety and that situation gave me some real anxiety, elephant on the chest near panic attack type feelings. The only thing that fixed it was beer. I even went to the doctors and got an ssri and that was worse (I've tried them before and did not like them either). So beer it was. Through into the mix being off of work for 4 months because of surgery, and now we have a 11am to 2am drinking situation, daily except for when I had my daughter which was every other week. On the week's I had her I would only drink in the evening aftet dinner but once she was in bed the slamming would begin. I'd say 12 to 20 16oz beers a day for when I had her and didn't have her. This lasted pretty much the whole 4 months I was of of work.
I went back to work in Feb, and cut it back to probably 6-10 a night on work days and what ever on the weekends. And when I'm off between my next job I day drink. So the past few months I've been on a 6-10 a night m-thursday and probably 12-18 on weekends. (If I don't have my daughter). Probably 8-12 when I have her, which is ever other weekend. I've always had a bit of shaky hands, and sweat easier than most. But this has been like this long before my drinking days. (I've had every test under the sun done, it's just the way I am says the doctors). So it's always been easy to write of my even more shaky hands to that instead of drinking.
Well the time has come. I DO have a problem, I am an alcoholic, and I shake so bad during the days I can hardly perform my job. Its been 37 hours since my last beer, temptation is hard and sleep is hard to come by. I limited my self to a six pack a night from sunday-thursday because I was planning on just cutting back like I have every other time it's gotten away from me, and even six beers a night gave me night sweats and bad sleep. I have bags under my eyes and I never have them. So I decided enough is enough. I'm done and hopefully opening up and being honest to some people who know how it is will help.

Thanks, sorry so long.

Last edited by Dontpickitup; 07-15-2018 at 08:30 AM. Reason: Added a word for clearity
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:30 AM
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Welcome! You’ve come to the right place. Lots of us have been in your shoes and there is a lot of good support here.
Congrats on 37 hours. There is no time like the present to quit for good.
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:32 AM
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Welcome to SR Dontpickitup........37 hours without a drink is superb! You're probably not feeling very good right now, but just push through it. If you feel you might need medical help, please head to the ER. They can help make detox more comfortable for you. I found staying close to SR and reading the threads and posting here not only passed time, but it helped with the cravings too. You can do this! I'm rooting for you.
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:39 AM
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Thank you! So far it's just fighting temptation and night sweats and bad sleep. I really hope this is the extent of my withdrawal. I think even my shaky hands have improved since yesterday. It's hard to tell because I don't drink coffee much and had a glass today lol. And it makes me shake.
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:53 AM
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Good for you. Post as much and as often as you like. I find SR to be a sort of anchor for me and take comfort that people are along with me on this journey.

37 hours is GREAT - I wouldn't be surprised if you actually sleep tonight. Frequent showers and clean sheets help to keep the sweats at bay, as does a ton of water.

Glad you joined us.

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Old 07-15-2018, 01:54 PM
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Welcome to the family.
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Old 07-15-2018, 05:44 PM
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Welcome dontpickitup

this is a good place for support
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Old 07-16-2018, 01:58 AM
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Welcome, dontpickitup. Well done on 37 hours! I am very glad you found us; this site has been a vital part of my recovery--lots of great advice and support from people who care and really understand. I hope you stick around, do a lot of reading and continue to post. Best wishes on your sober journey.
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Old 07-16-2018, 03:09 AM
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How are you doing today Dontpickup?
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Old 07-16-2018, 04:41 AM
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I'm still hanging in there. Thank you for asking. 58 hours almost. I did not get the sweats last night, though it did take me a few hours to fall asleep so that's a plus. Also my shakes have calmed way down. They seem better this morning then they where even while drinking. A couple postives this early definitely helps. I'm going to see this through!
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Old 07-16-2018, 04:50 AM
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Good job. I remind myself this thing is progressive. If I slip I go right back into the cycle of dispair. Keep up the good fight!
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:25 AM
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Sounds good, like you're starting to be on the mend.

What do you plan going forward to make sure you don't pick up that first drink ever again? I had to block out my time in early days. Grocery shopping, preparing my own fresh meals, exercise, posting on this site, I went to AA meetings for the first few months every single day. Reading recovery materials, including lots of threads on this site. I posted every day in my "Class of March" thread.

Keep it going.
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Old 07-16-2018, 10:13 AM
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Welcome. Tough stuff. I've been there myself.

Good for you for coming here, opening up and working on it. Sobriety is a better life. For you as a person and as a father. I often wish I got sober earlier for my son - who I too have from a split relationship. But I'm sober now and will be.

You can do the same. Do you have a plan?
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Old 07-16-2018, 11:38 AM
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Just know that the sweats,shakes and increased anxiety will return if you start drinking again. I had a habit of getting 3-5days sober,start feeling normal again and think "what would one or two hurt?". I stayed in that cycle for 2.5yrs or so and it was a lot of 'work'. Waaayyy easier to just be completely finished. I was at a pool party over the weekend and a couple friends were talking about their drinking problems. They were kinda shocked when I explained, to the T, what was going through their minds. They thought I was pshycic or something. I just told them "I fought that exact mental/physical battle for several years. I'm so glad to be done with it." There was another guy there who's 6mo sober,so him and I hung out and talked recovery while everyone else got outta control.
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Old 07-16-2018, 12:30 PM
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Welcome
Glad you found us.
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Old 07-16-2018, 04:35 PM
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Thanks again for all the replies. The only real plan I have at the moment is not to drink. When I do get cravings I remind my self why I quit, and then think back on all the mistakes I've made because of drinking. Like drinking and driving. I didnt do it often, and feel strongly about it. But yet I've done it. Hell I've been pulled over a couple times while I was probably over the limit and by God's grace they didnt realize it. And for what? Nothing!
I do stay pretty busy with work, I also enjoy grilling and smoking meat. So I do have things to keep me distracted. When I have my daughter I certainly have enough to do. Lol. Today at work was a great step forward for me. Although I still feel a little off, and didn't get much sleep last night, I can already feel the difference with out booze in my system. My shakes were way better than they where while drinking, and I sweat less than half of what I typically do while drinking. I'm feeling good, and wish I would of quit sooner. I was always afraid of worse withdrawal, I feel lucky it's been something I can handle.
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Old 07-16-2018, 05:16 PM
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Methinks you need more plan! There is a thread on here somewhere about having a plan; perhaps Dee will post it.
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Old 07-16-2018, 05:32 PM
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A good sobriety plan might include regular posting here. I used to see a counselor but now my recovery is just logging in here every day and offering support when I can.

And this site is open all the time, there's always someone here at any hour of the day or night.
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Old 07-16-2018, 05:51 PM
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I do plan on using this site for support. This post was the first time I've discussed my addiction with anyone, obviously everyone knew I drank but not that I've suffered with wanting to quit and being addicted. But posting here has given me the courage to open up to a couple co-workers today and also my brother. I feel this will give me some accountability and also some more support.

Last edited by Dontpickitup; 07-16-2018 at 05:54 PM. Reason: Misspelled word
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Old 07-16-2018, 09:16 PM
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Thanks again for all the replies. The only real plan I have at the moment is not to drink.
with all due respect that's a desired outcome, not a plan.

Think a little more on the nuts and bolts of how you might stay sober - how you'll deal with cravings, or deal with situations you always previously drank in.

Think about support and how to use it effectively.
Think about the changes you'll need to make to reflect your desire to be sober.

This link is a good start
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

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